Violence Is Not The Answer
by Lady Icicle
Summary: So, Sakura's just been expelled from her school, disowned by her parents, and now, she's attending a new school where everyone seems to think she's the cutest thing since My Little Pony? Wonderful. AU, High School fic, MultiSaku, T for strong language
1. Oops! Expelled from school

Summary: So, Sakura's just been expelled from her school, disowned by her parents, and now, she's attending a new school where everyone seems to think she's the cutest thing since My Little Pony? Wonderful. AU, High School fic, Sakura x Multiple / MultiSaku Rated T for language

Author's Note: Hi everyone! Welcome to my first fic! Since this is my first fic / story / major writing project, please be lenient – also, I'd love some constructive criticism, if possible.

Now, ONWARD! Please enjoy.

**EDIT: removed most of the ridiculously perky author's note and revamped the chapter, 8/3/13.**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or My Little Pony! I'd love to own Naruto though - My Little Pony… not so much… I do, however, own the plot of Violence Is Not The Answer

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Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter One

It Begins

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"Haruno-san, I am _very_ disappointed in you."

Emerald green eyes coolly regarded the principal while Inner Sakura roared, _**'No, shithead,**_** I**_** am very disappointed in **_**you**_**!'**_ Oblivious to the chaos raging in Sakura's mind, courtesy of Inner Sakura, the principal continued, "I can't _believe_ that you would use violence against your fellow students, not to mention that these students are the role models of the school! …"

While the principal continued her lecture, Sakura tuned her out in favour of the much more interesting conversation going on in her mind:

_'...The obliviousness of the staff in this school never ceases to amaze me. __Role models? Seriously? The student council here is just abusing its authority and terrorising the other students!'_

'_**And when we go and teach the bastards a lesson, they punish us! What the hell! Kick their asses, SHANNARO!'**_

'_Unfortunately, Inner, kicking the principal's ass is not a very wise thing to do.'_

'_**Psh, wise, schmise. It'd make us feel helluva lot better!'**_

'_Yeah, but we're in enough trouble as it is… be quiet Inner, the principal seems to be concluding her rant.'_

'_**Finally...'**_

"…the student council has done so many things to benefit the school, and this is how you repay them? You may be a straight 'A' student, Miss Haruno, but your attitude leaves much to be desired. Now as for your punishment…" Sakura sat a little straighter in her seat; as much as she hated it, she was _extremely_ concerned about said topic and the repercussions it would bring about. "…the teachers and I, after consulting the student council, have decided expel you from this school. From today onwards, you are no longer a student of Oto High."

Sakura remained seated in her chair, silent, her head bowed.

"It's too late for regret, Haruno-san," the principal said, mistaking her silence and slumped posture for sadness. She then jumped violently in her chair when Sakura stood up and slammed her hand onto her desk, causing it to creak in protest.

"YOU IDIOT! ARE YOU THAT BLIND? IT'S TIME SOMEONE TOLD YOU TO OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THAT THE BLOODY STUDENT COUNCIL IS THE ONE BULLYING THE OTHER STUDENTS! ROLE MODELS, MY ASS! I DON'T REGRET BEATING THOSE BASTARDS UP, NOT FOR ONE SECOND! I'LL BE GLAD TO BE OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE!"

Panting from her outburst, yet again courtesy of Inner Sakura, Sakura forcefully wrested control from Inner before she could do anything else. Her emotions were all over the place, and this was what had allowed Inner to break through and control Sakura's actions – usually, Inner was safely locked up inside Sakura's mind, where no one else could witness the true feelings and reactions Sakura had to those around them. Sakura bent down to pick up her school bag, slung it over her shoulder, and exited the principal's office, avoiding eye contact. She didn't regret her outburst, but that didn't mean she really appreciated it; she preferred not to show the world what she truly felt, since oftentimes, her reactions weren't what society would call 'appropriate for the young lady she was supposed to be'.

Once outside, she leant against the wall, going over what she had just said to the principal. She tugged lightly on her shoulder length pink hair in distress.

'_My parents are going to kill me - I just shouted at the principal! What am I going to do? Well, technically, she can't do anything to punish me, since I'm already not a student in this school… since I was… expelled…' _A beat of silence passed as she digested what exactly that meant._ 'WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME! SERIOUSLY!' _Sakura panicked.

Her parents, who both held prestigious positions in their respective companies, were the sort of parents who expected their child to be a model student, never getting a spot of trouble on their record. Sakura's flawless record now had a huge, ugly, (figurative) splotch of ink on it.

In their eyes, the reason _why_ Sakura took such an action wouldn't be relevant. They only saw what society would see – the end result: Sakura being expelled from her school for instigating violence. Sakura, who had been raised under the oppressive gaze of society and the burden of living up to the expectations placed on her as a child of her parents, knew very well what the reactions to her expulsion would be. And one thing was certain – it wouldn't be good.

Her parents tolerated neither failure nor anything that would negatively affect their reputation, so Sakura dreaded what they would do. If her parents grounded her and took away her internet _and_ phone privileges for two months for getting less than eighty-five on a common test, what would they do to her now that she was expelled?

"S-Sakura-san?" A timid voice interrupted her contemplation of her impending doom. Sakura's head snapped to the right, her gaze landing on a timid girl with brown hair and brown eyes. She pushed herself off the wall and walked toward the girl, a small smile on her face.

"Hello, Michiko-san," Sakura greeted back.

"I heard that you were expelled because of me. I'm so sorry!" Michiko's eyes watered and she looked like she was about to burst into tears. She'd been cornered by the student council, and had been cowering in fear when Sakura had showed up to help her. Sakura had tried to peacefully dissuade the student councillors from bullying, only to be attacked. She'd merely acted in self-defense, but it had been the council's word against hers, and coupled with their numerous injuries, they'd managed to convince the staff that Sakura had started a fight with them for no reason at all. Sakura's bruised knuckles definitely hadn't helped much.

"Er, right. About that… don't worry about it. I would have done the same thing for anyone else." Sakura replied somewhat awkwardly, wondering what to do to comfort her.

"Heh. Big words coming from someone who just got expelled," A voice from behind Sakura sounded. Sakura looked over her shoulder, only to be rewarded with the sight of the entire student council: Dosu, Zaku, Kin, Jirobo, Sakon, Ukon, Kidomaru and Tayuya.

"What are you all doing here?" Sakura spat, her eyes narrowed in a glare directed at them.

Ukon, Sakon's twin, said, "We were just on our way to see whether or not the principal had already expelled you, only to witness this…heartwarming scene." He sneered in disgust.

Sakura stood in front of Michiko protectively, her arms crossed, and said, "Yes, and as I'm sure you've gathered, I've been expelled. Happy?"

Kin flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, smirking, "Very. Now the whole school can see what happens to people who go against us."

"Big words from the people who got beaten up single-handedly by a girl with pink hair," Sakura threw Dosu's words back at them, Inner Sakura shouting _'__**Show them what we've got! SHANNARO! We went easy on them last time, beat them up now, Outer-chan!'**_in the background of her mind. Sakura shook her head at Inner Sakura's ranting, and continued, "Speaking of which, how's your reputation? I'm surprised you made such a debacle out of this; after all, I can't imagine how humiliating it must be, to be defeated so completely by little old me, and have it publicised to the world on top of that."

The look on their faces made her smirk, even as Inner Sakura laughed mockingly. It was obvious that they hadn't thought of that.

"…Anyway, it's not like you're the weak little girl you make yourself out to be! You yourself have your own reputation, everyone knows not to underestimate you," Dosu shot back, trying to salvage the situation.

"I've already given that up – I don't fight anymore, remember?" Sakura replied. "I only fought back today because you attacked me first."

Sakon snorted. "That's not what everyone else thinks. You attacked us unprovoked remember? We were so scared, and surprised, you just came at us like a rabid, vicious animal," He said mockingly, his phony fear leaving a bitter taste in Sakura's mouth. No doubt they had said something along those lines to the principal.

'_**Outer, let me out! I'll teach them to mess with us! All this diplomatic talking, it's not doing shit! The bastards think they can just walk all over us, and frame us without getting harmed in return,'**_ Inner's fury was starting to give Sakura a headache. It mingled with her own feelings of anger, frustration and dread of her parent's reactions. She closed her eyes, relenting to Inner and once more relinquishing control of their body to her.

When Sakura's eyes next opened, it was obvious that something had changed.

"I'll admit that I was careless. I'd lost my temper, you see, so I didn't make sure I did a good job in ensuring you couldn't get back at me. Next time, however, I'll make sure to do it properly so none of you would be able to _blink_ without wincing in pain, let alone be able to talk." Sakura voice was deathly quiet, even as she smashed her fist into her palm, letting a sadistic grin spread across her face. Memories of when she had been a regular in street brawls rose to the surface of her mind, but she shook them off. Those times were long past; she had promised herself that she would leave that behind her. Nevertheless, as Inner took one step towards them, Sakura was pleased when all of them took one step back. "You guys brought this on yourselves. The past few times, I'd _tried_ to talk you guys out of bullying the students, you guys just didn't want to listen."

"O-oi, bitch!" Tayuya snarled, "We're just outside the principal's office you know, you sure you wanna take us on? That clueless bitch would just believe whatever we told her, then you'd be in a shitload of trouble, wouldn't you?"

Drawing courage from Tayuya's words, Dosu took a step forward, "Yeah! The teachers as well! They're wrapped around our fingers, and they think we're fucking angels! You'd never get away with this! Who would they believe, you, the cute little ex-model student who just got expelled, or me, the student council president?"

Sakura let her hands fall to her sides, from where they had been loosely curled into fists in front of her. She calmed, and Inner Sakura retreated, snickering at Sakura's current plan of action.

"Well, you're probably right, I wouldn't be able to get away with beating you up," she said as she turned around and guided a confused Michiko down the corridor, away from the student council. "After all," she continued, throwing the words over her shoulder, "the principal's in her office, which, as you said, you are standing _just outside of_, and she's probably heard _everything_ that we've said."

She then exited the corridor with Michiko, grinning wildly as the student council stood there with expressions that said, 'oh _shit_'.

'_**That's what you get for messing with Haruno Sakura, SHANNARO!'**_

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Author's Note: So! How was it?

Please read and review! I'd love to hear your thoughts on how this turned out.

Peace out,

Ice


	2. Time to look for a new apartment

Author's Note: Hi! Did you guys like the first chapter? I was so happy that you guys read it / reviewed / story alerted / Faved it! I even got a favourite author adding thing! I'm so happy! Every time I found out I got a new review / alert, etc, I squealed with happiness… Yeah, my parents and my dad's friend think I'm weird now, but never mind!

I will try to balance out Sakura's character people! Constructive criticism is always welcome!

On another note, I just found out that the first letter of each word in the title spells VINTA. O.O It's weird, but a suitable nickname, don't you think? ;)

Thanks to Hika-BOOO the Awesome for reviewing and adding this to your story alert, Midnighter67 for adding this to your favourite stories list, Souka105 for adding this to your favourite stories list, and last but not least, nadeshiko stars18 for reviewing, adding this to your favourite stories list, adding me to your favourite authors list as well as adding this to the story alerts and author alerts! (phew) Hugs to you all!

Now, ON WITH THE STORY!

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Disclaimer: I wish I owned Naruto. Sadly, we can't all get what we wish for.

(I forgot this part in Chapter One)

'_thinking'_

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

"Talking"

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Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Two

'_Okay, Sakura, you can do this,' _Sakura's mental pep talk did little to calm her racing heart. '_…No! I can't do this!'_

'_**Outer-chan! Stop being a pansy and open the damn door!' **_Inner Sakura yelled, getting fed up of Sakura hyperventilating outside of the door to her house (read: impending doom). Even though Inner Sakura had used such brave words, Sakura could hear the underlying fear and trepidation that Inner had tried to hide. This was, after all, _their parents _they were talking about. Sakura took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

"Tadaima!" Sakura called tentatively, hoping against hope that her parents had suddenly had to leave for a business trip and would not return for a few years. Okay, maybe not _years_… months? Sadly, the pinkette's hopes were shattered when her mother's voice rang coldly through the otherwise silent house, "Sakura, your father and I are in the living room."

Sakura walked past hallways filled with expensive paintings and vases of freshly cut flowers to enter the large living room. Her parents were seated side by side on one of the plush couches. Sakura sank into the couch opposite them silently. From the less-than-happy expressions on their faces, Sakura knew that they had already received The News.

She fidgeted in her seat, eyes firmly fixed on her hands that were placed neatly on her lap, feeling her parents' eyes boring holes into her. A maid set a cup of tea gently in front of Sakura, on the coffee table placed between the two couches, before high-tailing it out of the room. Sakura didn't blame her. The tension was so thick, one could probably cut it with a knife.

"Sakura," Her father's voice broke the silence. "You were expelled from school." Here, he stopped, almost as if waiting for her to deny it. Sakura knew better. It was best not to interrupt him when he was angry. After realizing that she would not say anything, her father continued, "Due to your instigating a _fight_." He spat out the last word like it was a dirty word, and to him, it probably was.

Sakura raised her head and met her father's forest green gaze. She saw his anger, his disappointment, and his disgust. He continued to speak, "I thought we raised you better than that."

"I'm sorry, Father, Mother. I was preventing a schoolmate from being bullied, so –" Sakura tried to explain her reasoning. This was bad, really bad. Her parents seemed to radiate anger in waves.

"It does not matter. Do not try to make excuses. You're lucky that the students were kind enough to drop the charges against you! What were you thinking? I am ashamed to be called your mother! I don't want a daughter like _you_!" Her mother's words hurt so much; it was almost like being stabbed repeatedly in the heart with a knife. Sakura bit her lip in a bid to stop her tears from falling.

'_**Come on, Outer-chan… be strong! Who needs them anyway?' **_Inner Sakura tried to encourage Sakura, despite her own voice trembling with barely suppressed tears.

"How could you be expelled from school? I thought we told you! Our associates, other people of our standing, would scrutinize every action of ours! Every bad thing that _you_ do reflects badly on us! You have ruined our reputations and tarnished our family name! What have you to say for yourself?" Sakura's father demanded, progressively getting louder and louder, until he was standing and shouting at her.

Finally, her father, ending his tirade, slumped back down onto the couch, running a hand tiredly over his face. "Out."

Sakura's eyes widened and her gaze snapped to her father's pleadingly. He stared back coldly, "You heard me. Out. You are no daughter of mine. Pack your things and leave within the hour. Never come back."

Sakura then shifted her gaze to her mother, hoping to see some compassion, anything; after all, her parents _must_ love her, right? They wouldn't throw her out, right? She was only fifteen, she'd just started her first year in high school a few weeks ago! However, her mother just stared back at her impassively, her cold brown eyes burning into Sakura's own emerald green eyes.

It became too much for Sakura to bear. Tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks. Her parents weren't the best, they were distant and yet very demanding, but they were still her _parents_. And yet, instead of being concerned about her and asking if she was injured during the fight, they kicked her out of her home.

"B-But…" _'where will I go?'_ Sakura wanted to ask.

"We don't care. Just go. You're wasting our time." Having said all that they had wanted to, her parents stood and left the room, leaving Sakura sitting on the couch, trying to absorb all that had happened.

'_**Outer-chan, we'd better get packing. I think our parents are serious.' **_Inner Sakura's voice was unusually subdued. Sakura mechanically got off the couch and went to her room. As she started to pack, she contemplated what her next move would be. She didn't have any friends she could go to – the student council at her previous school had made sure of that, tormenting any who approached her at school. There was only one person she could think of. But she would hate to burden that person with her own troubles, since she had been nothing but nice to Sakura since she was a child.

After Sakura finished packing a few sets of clothes, her toiletries, some water, a few trinkets and photos, as well as any money she had, she wore her shoes and walked out of her house. When she was a few meters away, she looked back at the place, no, mansion, that had been her home her whole life, and said, "Sayonara."

Then, the pink-haired fifteen-year-old continued on.

Her first stop had been the shopping mall that was a fifteen minute walk from her house. She made a beeline straight for the nearest ATM machine and took out her numerous credit cards. For the next half an hour, she flitted between the many different ATM machines from the different banks, withdrawing as much money as she could from her various accounts before her parents could cancel her bank accounts.

'_**This is the first time that I'm glad our parents were stupid enough to attempt to make up for their lack of parental skills with money," **_Inner Sakura commented. Sakura agreed with her.

Satisfied with the amount of cash she now had – enough to stay in a five-star hotel for at least a year - she purchased a newspaper and went to the nearby Starbucks to sit down. She sipped her caramel frappucino, flipping through her newly acquired newspaper, looking at the property section of the newspaper. She considered many of the options, pondering the benefits of renting an apartment or buying one instead, before she settled on one that seemed adequate. The advertisement read:

Apartment for rent!

One master bedroom, living room, kitchen, toilet

Good condition, basic furniture provided

Convenient location, five minutes walk from nearby Konoha High School

Price negotiable, call Sarutobi Hiruzen at 9123 4567 or drop by for a visit at Konoha Gardens, unit #07-01

There was just one problem: A fifteen-year-old was probably not allowed to rent an apartment for herself. _'Oh, well,' _Sakura shrugged, whipping out her phone and dialing a number_ 'I guess this wouldn't be _too_ much of a bother for her.'_

"_Hello?"_

"Hello? Aunt Tsunade?"

"_Sakura! Are you okay? I heard what my idiot sister and her husband did. Do you need a place to stay?"_

"No… about that… Aunt Tsunade, could you meet me now?"

"_Of course! Where are you?"_

A few minutes later, a beautiful, busty, blonde-haired, brown-eyed woman joined her at the table. Tsunade critically observed her niece's appearance, taking note of her slightly puffy eyes – a telltale sign that she had just been crying. Her niece was holding a medium sized duffel bag in her lap, a newspaper spread before her – open to the property section, she noticed – and a half-full cup of some beverage beside it on the table.

"So, what do you need me for?" Tsunade asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

"Well… I need you to help me rent an apartment. I already have the money, I just need your signature," Sakura said quickly, looking hopefully at her favourite aunt.

"…" Tsunade was stunned. She had been expecting Sakura to ask her if she could take her in, not ask her to rent her an apartment. She quickly asked the first question in her head, "Where did you get the money?"

Sakura sheepishly smiled, "Ah… I sort of withdrew all the money I could from my bank accounts before my parents could cancel my cards." Her aunt grinned and reached over the table to ruffle her hair. "That's my girl," Tsunade grinned at the adorable pout on Sakura's face as she tried to fix her hair.

"However," Tsunade continued, "You can just stay at my place. I'm sure Shizune wouldn't mind as well." Sakura immediately shook her head.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to be a bother, I think I'd much rather rent my own apartment." The determined and stubborn glint in her niece's eyes told Tsunade that arguing with her would be pointless.

"Okay," Tsunade sighed, "I assume that you've already decided on a place?" Sakura nodded and showed her the advertisement. Two things stood out to Tsunade: _Konoha High_ and _Sarutobi Hiruzen._

"Sakura," Tsunade said, trying to contain her excitement, as they left Starbucks and headed towards her car, on the way to check out the apartment, "You're going to Konoha High?"

"Yup," Sakura grinned, "It's your school, isn't it,_ Principal-san_?" Tsunade, unable to contain her excitement over the possibility of seeing her favourite (and only) niece practically every single day, crushed Sakura to her in a bear hug, almost causing the pinkette to drop her duffel bag.

"Ai-Air…" Sakura choked out. Tsunade released her and continued talking, "Oh, and I know your future landlord. He was my predecessor – the previous principal of Konoha High! You'll like him, he's very kind."

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Tsunade was right. Sarutobi-san, Sakura's new landlord, was very kind, and Sakura had taken an instant liking to him. The rental process had gone very smoothly, in part due to the fact that Tsunade and Sarutobi were on very good terms. Now, Sakura was standing outside of the door of her new apartment, after Tsunade had left, promising to brave the paperwork necessary to register Sakura as the new student at Konoha High, and after Sarutobi had left her to her own devices.

The sound of a door unlocking and opening from Sakura's right caused her to look in that direction.

"Maaa… It looks like you're my new neighbour, ne?"

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Japanese translations:

Tadaima: I'm home

Maaa…: It's sort of like the Japanese equivalent of "well…" or "ohh…"

Ne: Something people use to end their sentences with, sort of like, "right?" or "huh?"

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Voila! The second chapter is out! I wrote too much again… I wanted to at least write the school part now! Aw well, I hope to get the new chapter out within the next 24 hours! Reviews would make my writing magically speed up… *hint hint*

I'm sorry! Throughout the last part, I was like repeating "Tsunade's OOC, Tsunade's OOC…" I CAN'T HELP IT! I figure, she's entitled to acting like this because Sakura's her favourite and only niece and I can always say the sake melted away some of her inhibitions… right?

Dun dun dunnnnnnn… Who's Sakura's new neighbour? Cookies to those who can guess it correctly! :)


	3. A Hot New Neighbor and Wonder Woman?

Author's Note: HELLO PEOPLE! Finally, I have updated! I'm sorry, I said that I would update within 24 hours, but I didn't! As compensation, when I came home (at 10.30 p.m.) I slept until 1.30 a.m. then woke up to write out chapter three! I was planning it the whole time I was out today (yesterday?) but you know what happened? The last chapter was so emo, writing it gave me a minor case of writer's block! I know it sounds ridiculous, I wouldn't believe it if it didn't happen to me! Yeah, thanks for all the reviews! I FINALLY HIT FIVE! And the story alerts and favourites. I'm touched, people! :') (that sounds kinda sad… doesn't it?)

Thanks to Hika-BOOO the Awesome for being the first to review again! (As well as the being the only one who tried to guess who Sakura's mysterious neighbor was) Also, thanks to Mizuki- -KaseMizu for adding this to you favourite stories list, AlphaSigma for reviewing and adding this to your favourite stories list, PhoenixCAJ for adding this to your favourite stories list and to your story alerts, smile-like-nothings-wrong for adding this to your story alerts list, Himeko Koneko for reviewing, and last but not least, Cherry'Loves'Tomato for adding this to your favourite stories list. And also, thanks to all my wonderful, anonymous readers! Thanks for reading this even when the summary is actually more informative than the story so far -.-"

The good news is that I've finally caught up to the summary! Yay! Extra long chapter to make up for being late! :)

Please read and review people! I'd like to know how I can improve / what you thought about it!

ON WITH THE STORY!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, My Little Pony, Wonder Woman, Starbucks or the world. I do, however, own the plot of VINTA, a pad of post-its, a Japanese phrasebook, a pair of contact lens and two very large and dark eye bags.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(_Translation from Japanese to English)_

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Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Three

_

* * *

_

The sound of a door unlocking and opening from Sakura's right caused her to look in that direction.

"_Maaa… It looks like you're my new neighbor, ne?"_

* * *

Sakura observed her new neighbor. He was tall, about 1.8 meters (6 ft), and towered over her height of 1.61 meters (5 ft 4 in). He wore a dark, long sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and dark pants, and Sakura could tell that although he was lean, he was fairly fit and muscular. His silver hair spiked up in gravity-defying ways, leaning more towards the right, such that some of his hair flopped down to cover his left eye.

The most peculiar thing that stood out to Sakura, however, was that he wore a dark blue mask that covered the lower portion of his face, so that the only visible facial feature she could see was his right eye, which was a charcoal gray. Said eye was currently crinkled in an upwards curve, the only indication that he was smiling at her.

'_**Oh la la, hot guy alert!' **_Inner Sakura squealed, drooling over the guy, who seemed to be in his mid- to late-twenties.

Sakura tried to shut out Inner Sakura's comments, but could not deny that he was extremely good looking. She could see the faint outline of his features through the fabric of his mask, and that, coupled with the overall mysterious and laid back aura that surrounded him added up to one very attractive stranger.

'_**Don't just stand there; answer his question, Outer-chan!' **_Inner Sakura shouted, the presence of what she dubbed as 'eye candy' having snapped her out of her depressed and subdued mood from before.

"Ah, ano… Watashi wa Haruno Sakura desu. Hajimemashite! (_Oh, umm… I'm Haruno Sakura. Pleased to meet you!_)" Sakura hurriedly bowed. As she straightened, she fidgeted with the checkered skirt that she was wearing, absently noting that she had been so caught up in the rush of things that she had forgotten to change out of her now ex-school uniform, a white long-sleeved shirt and green checkered skirt. She quickly tried to stop the thoughts before they could progress any further, not wishing to have an emotional breakdown in front of her new neighbor; He was sure to think of her as weird already, what with her pink hair and green eyes, she didn't need to add to that list.

The stranger chuckled and raised a lazy hand in greeting. "Hai, hai, Hatake Kakashi desu. (_Yeah, yeah, I'm Hatake Kakashi)"_

Kakashi discreetly observed the girl standing before him. She was petite, small even, as she barely came up to his shoulder. Shoulder length pink hair framed a heart-shaped face, which held a cute button like nose, light pink lips and – the most striking – huge, doe like emerald green eyes. Though the colour combination of her hair and eyes contrasted slightly, she managed to pull it off seemingly effortlessly.

He estimated her to be about fifteen or sixteen – a slight drawback, because even though she _was_ infinitely cute, he'd probably be labeled as a pedophile should he make a move on her – and she was wearing what seemed to be a school uniform – another disappointment, since he'd been hoping that she was attending Konoha High School, where he was currently working. A duffel bag was at her feet, it being the only luggage he could see. Come to think of it, this was rather odd, since he guessed that the shortest time she would be staying at the apartment would be at least one month, and the duffel bag seemed to be unable to carry more than a few days' worth of clothing.

"Are your parents coming with the rest of the luggage?" He enquired. It was, after all, the most logical explanation for the lack of luggage. In addition, what kind of parents would leave a young teenager to fend for herself?

The way she visibly saddened was enough to answer his question, and he found himself feeling guilty for being the cause of her sadness. She seemed to be trying to hold back tears. He hesitated slightly before patting her on the head, saying, "Ah, never mind that. Since you're moving in, and I was just on my way to get something to eat, how about I take you out to eat and you can buy whatever necessities you need?" He studiously ignored the voice in his head that screamed '_You pedophile! Dirty old man!'_

Sakura blinked back her tears as she considered his offer.

'_Well… I _am_ new in this area, so going out to eat by myself would probably lead to me getting lost. I'm also kinda hungry, since it's –' _Sakura glanced at her watch, '_six-thirty already? Wow, time flies. Anyway, Sarutobi-san did mention that I need bed sheets. I forgot to pack a towel too… and I'm dirty from the fight this morning, so I _really_ want a bath… then again, I just met him… '_

'_**What the hell, Outer-chan! Don't let the hot guy slip away! He seems nice enough, I doubt that he'll kidnap us and sell us on the black market to some shady, dingy brothel! If he even tried, we'd just kick his ass anyway, SHANNARO!' **_Sakura inwardly rolled her eyes at Inner's comment, but had to admit that it was nice to hear her being upbeat and spunky as usual, rather than eerily quiet and subdued as she was after her parents – no, she shouldn't think about that now.

"I think I'll accept your offer, thank you, Hatake-san. If you would just wait awhile, I'll drop off my stuff and make a list about what I need to buy?" Sakura asked awkwardly, since she really didn't know him very well.

Kakashi gave her another (hidden) smile and retracted his hand. "Call me Kakashi; Hatake-san makes me feel old. I don't mind waiting awhile, so take your time, Sakura."

"Ah, okay, thanks Kakashi-san!" Sakura called as she unlocked the door and hurried inside, slipping off her shoes as she went. Kakashi sighed. He'd hoped that by calling her so familiarly, she might do the same for him, but he guessed that 'Kakashi-san' was much better than 'Hatake-san' and would probably be as good as it gets. On another note, at least she hadn't reacted negatively to his calling her by her first name.

'_**We're going on a date with a hot guy, woots! SCORE!' **_Inner Sakura cheered.

'_Inner, it's not a _date_! He's just being nice and showing his new neighbor around,' _Sakura retorted, glancing around her new home. The walls were painted a pale green, a few shades lighter than the colour of Sakura's eyes, giving the whole apartment a calming feeling. The apartment itself was quite spacious, and held a medium-sized living room with a worn black leather couch, a small coffee table and a television set on top of a wooden cabinet, with an adjoining kitchen with all the basic necessities, including some cutlery and crockery. It also had a small dining table that could seat two. The hallway straight in front of the entrance led to another door, which in turn led to the master bedroom.

The master bedroom held a queen-sized bed, which was bare of any bed sheets, a wardrobe, a small dresser, a desk and a door that led to the bathroom. Sakura was impressed by the cleanliness of the apartment, as there was not a speck of dust in sight.

Keeping in mind that there was someone outside waiting for her, Sakura snapped out of her observation of her new apartment and hurried to put down her duffel bag onto the bed, extracting some money from the envelope she had inside it so that she could buy all that she needed.

'_Okay, so I need bed sheets, towels, some groceries, curtains – I'm guessing that during the day, the many windows let in lots of sunlight – soap, shampoo… anything else, Inner?_' Sakura went over her mental list, wondering if she left anything out.

'_**Who cares? I don't! Now let's go outside and bask in the presence of that fine specimen of a man!' **_Sakura sweat dropped at her split personality's one-track mind.

Making sure that she had her wallet and her phone, Sakura quickly wore her shoes and locked the door behind her. "Thanks, Kakashi-san, I'm ready now."

Kakashi stood from where he had been leaning against his door, which was adjacent to Sakura's, and smiled at her. "Then, let's go. Do you have anything that you want to eat in particular?" He asked as they walked to the lift lobby.

"Nope, do you? You do know this place better than I do, so you would know all the good places to eat," Sakura replied.

"Yeah, I know just the place."

* * *

Kakashi ended up taking Sakura to a small, quaint okonomiyaki restaurant, and then to the supermarket and other stores to get all the things that she needed. He insisted on paying for the meal, and would have paid for all of Sakura's other stuff had she not beat him to the punch, quickly paying the cashier before he could even take out his wallet.

Kakashi pouted playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him triumphantly. The cashier, an elderly woman, chuckled and said, "Ah, young love. You and your boyfriend are too cute, dear." Kakashi blinked in surprise while Sakura blushed and stuttered, "He's n-not –"

She was cut off by Kakashi slinging an arm over her shoulder and winking at the cashier, "Thanks, obaa-san!" Taking advantage of Sakura's distraction, he swooped down to carry all of her bags for her and walked outof the supermarket, calling behind him, "Sakura, _sweetheart_, we should go now!"

He felt elated that the elderly woman mistook them for a couple – it meant that he didn't look _that_ old next to Sakura – he still had a chance! Worries over being a pedophile put to rest, he waited patiently for Sakura to catch up to him.

As they walked home, Kakashi started up another conversation.

"So, how long are you going to be staying here for?"

"Well, I guess until the end of my high school life, at least – I just started my first year, so, another three years or so."

"Speaking of which, which school do you go to? Your school uniform looks awfully familiar," Sakura glanced down at the mention of her attire, slightly wistfully.

"Yeah, I was from Oto High, but because of some… stuff, I'm starting school at Konoha High this Monday, I think." She had been doubtful that she would be able to start school so soon – today was a Friday, after all – then again, it helped that her aunt was the principal of said school.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was so happy, he was mentally doing cartwheels. He glanced skyward, '_Thank you, God.' _Striving to keep outwardly composed, he gave Sakura one of his crinkle-eyed smiles and said, "That's great! I actually work as a teacher there, so I can take you to school on Monday and help you get settled in."

"Thank you so much, Kakashi-san! You've really gone out of your way to help me." Sakura said, feeling slightly bad that a total stranger would do so much for her, while she hadn't done anything for him in return. By this time, they had already reached their apartments and were standing outside their respective doors.

Kakashi reached over to ruffle her hair, chuckling at the adorable pout that formed on her face from his messing it up, and said, "It's no problem, Sakura, feel free to come to me anytime you need help."

Brushing some stray strands of hair out of her face, Sakura gave him a dazzling smile and bowed again. "Thank you, and good night, Kakashi-san!"

Sighing good-naturedly at her politeness, he replied, "Good night."

With that, they entered their respective apartments.

* * *

Sakura quickly unpacked most of the things that she had bought, starting with placing the bed sheets on her new bed, and started to unpack the things she had brought from her duffel bag. The slight smile that adorned her face faded when she started to unpack her trinkets and momentos that she had brought with her.

Memories flashed through her mind as she placed them on her dresser, and the tears she had held back since leaving her house finally poured down her cheeks. _'This is the last time,'_ she vowed.

'_This is the last time I'll let myself cry over them.'_

* * *

Over the weekend, Sakura met up with Tsunade to work out the finer details of her acceptance into Konoha High, as well as to receive her new uniform and get a list of the things she would need. She then made a trip to the bookstore to get all her school supplies and stationery.

Tsunade also insisted that she be legally recognized as Sakura's guardian, 'just in case'. This meant paperwork and a meeting with Sakura's parents, but Tsunade, despite her avid hatred for both, went through with it, just for Sakura. Sakura was simply relieved that she wasn't the one who needed to see her parents again.

Tsunade had also gone and set up a bank account for Sakura, with arrangements for a generous monthly allowance (her aunt was far from poor, what with her being the principal of a well-known private high school and before that, the head of a _very_ prestigious hospital).

When Sakura had protested, Tsunade had said, "Even though you have a small fortune in that bag of yours, it's going to run out sooner or later. As your legal guardian, I'm required to pay for your expenses, anyway." Sakura couldn't argue against her logic and so reluctantly accepted the bank book and card that Tsunade passed her.

* * *

The fifteen-year-old woke up on Monday morning with a mixed feeling of excitement and dread in her stomach. She quickly showered and dressed in her new school uniform: a white long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, a dark gray v-neck knitted vest (optional), a red ribbon and a maroon checkered skirt that stopped a few inches above her knees. She decided to leave her hair down, simply brushing it to get rid of all the tangles.

She pulled on her knee length white socks and picked up her school bag, a black haversack that she had packed the night before. A knock on her apartment door sounded just as she was wearing her shoes.

"Sakura?" Kakashi's voice came from the other side, "Are you ready to go?"

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair. Obito was probably laughing at him from somewhere in heaven right now. For once in _years_, he was actually _early_ in leaving for the school. Of course, this was all because of a certain pink-haired girl who had just emerged from her apartment.

Emerald green eyes blinked innocently at him and he had to resist the unusual urge to glomp her. He shook his head; this girl would be the death of him. He was never a person who enjoyed physical contact, but now, he wanted nothing more than to crush her to him in a bear hug and never let go. Speaking of which, what would those uncouth barbarians he called his students do to his innocent little Sakura? She really was too cute for her own good. He twitched at the thought of a certain blonde-haired student of his who would surely take every opportunity to attack _his_ Sakura – that boy had no self-restraint whatsoever.

"Kakashi-san?" Sakura asked worriedly. Kakashi had been standing there for awhile, occasionally twitching. She wondered if those were the first signs of having a seizure – or was it insanity? No, the first sign of insanity was talking to oneself.

'_**Well, we sure got that one down,'**_ Inner Sakura remarked. She was not a morning person, so Sakura was not surprised that she sounded grouchier than normal. _**'Hey! I heard that! You know what, you can survive a while without me, right? I'll just… *yawn* go back to… sleeeep...'**_

Kakashi snapped out of whatever trance he had been in and smiled sheepishly at her, scratching the back of his head. "Ahahaha… sorry, I spaced out for a while there," He said, "Ready to go?"

At Sakura's nod, they set off. Since the school was so near to their apartment building, they simply walked there. As they reached the school, a massive, white building, they passed by the sign that read "Konoha High School".

It was still early, so there were only a handful of students mulling about, waiting for their friends to arrive or on their way to class. These students were still sleepy and so missed the peculiar sight of Kakashi, their widely-known-to-be-chronically-late teacher, guiding a petite pink-haired girl to the office.

A lady sitting at the desk that was in immediate view of anyone who entered through the glass doors of the office looked up when the two of them entered. She had short black hair and black eyes that shone with optimism and happiness. Her nameplate declared that she was Shizune, the principal's personal assistant as well as one of the school's secretaries.

Catching sight of Kakashi, Shizune nearly fell out of her chair. "What's wrong, Kakashi? Are you sick? Where's the emergency?" Shizune panicked, not used to seeing him come to school so early.

Kakashi sweat dropped as he said, "I know it's unusual for me to be early… but don't you think you're overreacting, Shizune? Anyway, I only came here because I wanted to help Sakura get settled in."

"Sakura?" Shizune visible brightened at the name. Catching sight of her, hidden partially by Kakashi, Shizune squealed and ran towards her, hugging Sakura to her in a bone crushing embrace, while turning her head to the right and yelling, "Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama! Sakura-chan is here!"

"Nani? (_What?)_ That's early! Welcome to my school, Sakura!" Tsunade ran out of her office, leaving some sheets of paper floating in her wake, joining the hug.

Getting a faint whiff of sake, Sakura wrinkled her nose and said, "Tsunade-ba-chan, you were drinking sake in your office, weren't you?"

Laughing sheepishly, Tsunade said, "You caught me!"

Kakashi, who had been shoved to the side in the frenzy to get to Sakura, said, "I'm still here… you know…"

"Eh? Kakashi? What are you doing here so early? What happened?" Tsunade asked quizzically, looking slightly worried.

'_Why must everyone assume that I can only be early when something bad happens?' _Kakashi asked himself, choosing to ignore the fact that they had very good reason to assume such. "I just wanted to make sure Sakura was settled in, because she's my next… door… neighbor…"

Kakashi faltered under the collective glare of Tsunade and Shizune. "NANI? THIS PERVERT IS STAYING NEXT TO MY PRECIOUS NIECE? Sakura," Tsunade quickly turned to her, "did he try anything? If he did, _**I'll kill him**_." The sudden demonic look Tsunade's face adopted made Kakashi inwardly fear for his life.

"Iie (_No)_, Tsunade-ba-chan, Kakashi-san was very nice to me and even showed me around the neighborhood!" Sakura said quickly, having caught the expression on Tsunade's face. She breathed a sigh of relief when Tsunade's face cleared and she said cheerfully, "Well, let's get your schedule now, then!"

Shizune hurried back to her desk and rifled through some papers, finally extracting a sheet of paper that had Sakura's schedule printed on it. "Hmmm… It's says here that your form teacher (A/N: School system is explained below) is Hatake Kakashi. Well then, Kakashi can take you to class! How convenient!" Shizune smiled at Sakura, handing her the paper.

Kakashi glanced skyward yet again. _'Thank you, God! I must have done something really good to deserve having an angel in my class! Thank you!'_

"Thanks, Shizune-nee-chan, Tsunade-ba-chan!" Sakura smiled, waving as she followed Kakashi out of the office.

"Bye!" Tsunade waved at them. As soon as they were out of sight, she let an evil grin take its place on her face. "Have fun at class!"

"Tsunade-sama… what did you do?" Shizune asked warily.

"Oh, nothing… I _might _have let slip to some students that the new student had come here after being expelled from school... for beating up the entire student council of Oto High. I'll bet some _very_ interesting rumors are circling around the school as we speak."

* * *

_Meanwhile, as they spoke..._

"Hey! Teme! Did you hear?" A certain blonde haired, blue-eyed boy was shouting over the ruckus in the classroom.

"What, Dobe?" A boy with spiky black hair and black eyes asked, annoyance seeping through his voice.

"We have a new student! A girl! I came to school early with Jiraiya-jii-chan and Tsunade-baa-chan told me about her! She was expelled from Oto High for beating up the student council there! By herself! I bet she's like, massive, dattebayo! What kind of giant must she be, to be able to take on that many people?" The blonde waved his arms around haphazardly, trying to convey the size he imagined the new girl must be.

"Hn. Wasn't Oto High the one that had the student council which took advantage of its power and bullied the other students?"

"Yeah! I bet she's like, Wonder Woman or something! You know, freakishly strong, muscular, tall, super-hero-y, dattebayo!"

"Tch. Baka (_Idiot_)." The student looked around, noticing that all of his classmates were gossiping about the new girl, with the exception of Shikamaru, who was sleeping.

Just then, the door to the classroom slid open, and Kakashi walked in.

"YOU'RE LATE!" majority of the class cried in unison, already used to the routine after only a few weeks.

"Ahahaha… Sorry about that. But this time, I had a valid excuse! I was helping the new student find her way around," Kakashi said, his hand behind his head. At the words "new student", the students all perked up.

"Ne, ne, Kaka-sensei! What's the new girl like? Is she huge? Muscular? Scary? A MAMMOTH?" Naruto yelled dramatically.

"Ano… why don't you see for yourself?" Kakashi suggested. "Sakura, you can come in now."

Sakura hesitantly stepped into class.

The whole class took in her delicate features, big, innocent eyes, petite figure and neat uniform, and the same thought ran through all of their heads:

'_There must be two new students coming in today.'_

* * *

Japanese terms:

Ba-san : aunt

Baa-san : grandmother

Jii-san: Grandfather (In the context that Naruto uses it, it's more like, a respectful term to address old people –baa-san for women and –jii-san for men)

Nee-san : Big sister

Okonomiyaki: It's a type of japanese food that's really yummy. You can research it if you want to know more. :)

* * *

Author's Note: So! How was it? I had to give the Nameless High School a name, so I was like, ah, what the heck, just call it Oto High! KAKASHI APPEARED! YAY! As you guys can probably tell, I'm a Kakashi fan girl! That's why, first appearance goes to him! Don't worry, more appearances to come next chapter! I might take a longer time for that chapter, though, I have no idea what I'm gonna put in it! I only planned till this part. *sweat drop*

Alright! So, the school system I used is mostly based on the Japanese school system, with a bit of artistic liberty taken here and there. From some official Japanese education website thing, high school for them starts at 15, ends at 18 (1st year :15-16, 2nd year: 16-17, 3rd year: 17-18) The school year starts in April, ends in March the next year! That's why, since I think it's around May in the fic, it's supposed to still be a little cold, I think, hence the long sleeves, yet since it's almost summer, they don't wear multiple layers…

The students stay in their fixed classes (except for special classes like science, where they go to the labs) and the teachers are the ones that move around. The beginning of the day starts with like, twenty minutes with their form teacher, who is the teacher placed in charge of the class overall (like, for administrative matters, or stuff like that)

Questions are welcome!

Reviews, even more so!

Flames…. Not so much.

Amanda

P.S. Sorry for any mistakes. I proof-read it, but I might have missed one or two mistakes. Be nice! It's 7 a.m. now... wow... the sky's bright. O.O


	4. Disbelieving classmates

Author's Note: Hel-_lo_, my lovely readers! Now, I know that you must be upset because of the late update, but please calm down! *backs away slowly*

I am ashamed to say that I passed my deadline yet again, because I told all my dear reviewers that I would update by Saturday or Sunday, but it's really, really early on a Wednesday right now. I was hit with another (more severe) case of writer's block. Also, as previously mentioned, I neglected to plan out my story and am currently suffering from my brainless actions as I try to sort out how to fill the numerous plot holes in VINTA. T_T

On a happier note: WHOOOOO! YAY! I have 25 reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL! In an un-creepy, platonic way! I'm so happy that chapter 3 was so well-liked that I got almost four times that number of reviews for that chapter than I did for chapters 1 and 2 combined! Tee hee.

Thanks to **PhoenixCAJ** for reviewing, **Love** for reviewing, adding me to your author alerts list, adding me to your favourite authors list, and adding this to your favourite stories list, **TDGluver **for adding this to your story alerts list and adding this to your favourite stories list, **Hika-BOOO the Awesome** for adding this to your favourite stories list and for ever-so-faithfully reviewing, **Wolfs-howlofdeath** for adding this to your story alerts list, **Piper-Knight** for adding this to your favourite stories list and reviewing, **stringless-marionette** for adding this to your favourite stories list, **andemoon** for adding this to your favourite stories list, **NadeshikoEverdeenHimeSama** for adding me to your favourite authors list, reviewing, adding this to your story alerts list, adding me to your author alerts list and adding this to your favourite stories list, **angel897** for reviewing and adding this to your story alerts list, **Black-Alice-Stars** for reviewing, **Saiyuri Haruno** for adding this to your favourite stories list and adding this to your story alerts list, **Angel Of Darkness808** for adding this to your story alerts list, **AJlovesKakashi** for reviewing, adding this to your story alerts list and adding this to your favourite stories list, **harunosakua** for reviewing, adding this to your favourite stories list, **NotsoAnonymous** (hahaha…) for reviewing, **Himeko Koneko** for reviewing, **Hinata of the Red Spring** for adding this to your story alerts list and adding this to your favourite stories list, **fudgecake115** for reviewing, **Junior-Einstein** for adding this to your favourite stories list and adding this to your story alerts list, **iluvsya2much** for adding this to your story alerts list, **00Sakura00** for reviewing, adding this to your story alerts list, adding this to your favourite stories list and adding me to your favourite authors list, **Akatsukifan1** for adding this to your story alerts list, **xxxSakuraXionHinamorixxx** for reviewing, adding this to your favourite stories list, adding this to your story alerts list, adding me to your favourite authors list and adding me to your author alerts list, **Bleh-fics-here** for adding this to your story alerts list, **Wikedlovely** for adding this to your story alerts list, adding this to your favourite stories list, and reviewing, **Esserie** for adding this to your favourite stories list, **swordmistress2069 **for adding this to your story alerts list and for reviewing, **Little-Retard** for adding this to your story alerts list and adding this to your favourite stories list, and last but not least **kukumalu01** for reviewing and being nice enough to read my story even though you don't know Naruto that well, for friendship's sake (I bow down to your awesomeness) .

Phew! My fingers are aching from typing it out, but I'm ridiculously happy because there are so many things to type out! Haha. If you get what I mean… Sorry for any typos! Also! Thanks to all my anonymous reviewers out there!

Please review! I really wanna hear your thoughts on my story! Yes, that means YOU! (However, please keep to child-friendly, generally happy language. I don't have any marshmallows to roast and hence have no need for flames. Thank you. ;) )

ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Naruto's orange jumpsuit would never see the light of day, Kakashi would be given more screen time (he deserves it!), Sakura wouldn't be an annoying fan girl at the beginning of the anime, we would see many scenes of life in the Akatsuki hideout and the male characters would be parading around shirtless hell of a lot more often! ;D

"talking"

'_thinking'_

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(_Translation from Japanese to English)_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Four

_

* * *

_

"Ne, ne, Kaka-sensei! What's the new girl like? Is she huge? Muscular? Scary? A MAMMOTH?" Naruto yelled dramatically.

_"Ano… why don't you see for yourself?" Kakashi suggested. "Sakura, you can come in now."_

_Sakura hesitantly stepped into class._

_The whole class took in her delicate features, big, innocent eyes, petite figure and neat uniform, and the same thought ran through all of their heads:_

'There must be two new students coming in today.'

* * *

Sakura squirmed uncomfortably under her classmates' intense and incredulous stares. Somehow, she got the feeling that she had failed to live up to an expectation, which was ridiculous, since her classmates couldn't have known anything about her, let alone be able to form any expectations of what she was like… right?

Luckily for her, before she could shrivel up and die under the intensity of her classmates' stares, Kakashi decided to help her out, by asking, "Well, Sakura, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself, then answer any questions that your classmates might have?"

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts, saying, "Uh, sure, Kakashi-sa – iie (_no)_, Kakashi-sensei." Addressing the class, she began, "Watashi wa Haruno Sakura desu. Yoroshiku! (_I'm Haruno Sakura. Please guide me / Please take care of me!)_" Having said that, she bowed, straightening to stare at her classmates expectantly, waiting for someone to ask her a question.

A blonde-haired boy shouted from the back of the class, "Which school were you from, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura smiled and replied, "Oto High."

Whispers broke out amongst the students. Sakura caught some snatches of conversation.

"So, she really is – "

"Beat up the whole student council –"

"No way! Look at her –"

"Expelled from –"

"– looks fragile –"

She sweat dropped. Apparently, she had been wrong. It seemed that the whole class was aware of the _unfortunate circumstances_ under which the new student came to this school, though they seemed to have some _slight_ problems in actually believing them. '_Oh well,' _Sakura inwardly shrugged, '_Even if they actually believed the rumors, I doubt it would cause _too_ much problems.'_

Finally, a brown-haired boy with two red triangles tattooed onto his cheeks seemed to pluck up enough courage to ask the question that was in everyone's mind, "So, is it true that you were expelled for beating up the dictators that Oto calls their student council?"

"Eto… (_Err…)_" Sakura scratched her cheek, looking to the side in slight embarrassment. She had hoped that no one had heard about what she had done – her classmates probably thought of her as horribly violent! Shaking those thoughts away, she focused of answering the boy's question. "Hai! (_Yes!)_" Sakura piped cheerfully, causing many people to sweat drop. She acted like she was simply admitting that she was addicted to chocolate, instead of confirming that she had beat up eight people single-handedly, most of whom had been older and much larger than her. Some students gasped in disbelief.

"Is your hair color natural?" A girl abruptly asked.

Sakura's eyes shifted to land on said girl. She had long platinum blonde hair pulled up into a high ponytail, with one long bang covering her right eye. She also had perfectly proportionate facial features, a killer figure (from what Sakura could see) and was admittedly, very pretty. Her turquoise eyes scrutinized Sakura, almost as if she were evaluating her in her head.

Sakura laughed lightly, unsurprised, since she had been asked that question hundreds of times. "Yes, it is," She confirmed, eyes twinkling merrily. She flashed a dazzling smile that evoked an intake of breath from the male population of the class.

"_Okay_, that's enough questions," Kakashi intervened, having seen the looks on some of his male student's faces. He cursed – why must Sakura be so damn _cute_? The way things were going, he wouldn't be surprised if she gathered a secret fan club. At least, he comforted himself, Sakura could take care of herself. Looking at the girl, one could not guess that she had it in her to hurt a fly, let alone the whole student council of her old school. He had been more than surprised at the question that Kiba had asked, and Sakura's reply.

"Well then, Sakura, please take a seat over there," Kakashi said, pointing at the only empty seat in the classroom. To his immense displeasure, it was situated in the row that was the furthest from the teacher's desk, and was surrounded on three sides by males – the fourth side being the wall, which was situated a ways behind the empty seat.

* * *

As Sakura made her way to her seat, weaving through the desks that were evenly spaced from each other, she observed the students who would be seated closest to her. Seated in the desk that was situated between her own desk and a window on the wall directly opposite from the door, on the extreme left of the classroom, was a boy who slouched in his seat with his arms crossed.

His hair was blood red, short, and fairly spiky, while his eyes were jade green and rimmed with very dark, practically black circles. These circles, at first glance, looked like eyeliner, but upon closer inspection, Sakura realized that they were actually dark rings similar to those one would get from lack of sleep, albeit very severe ones, almost as if he had suffered from insomnia for a very, very long time.

The redhead was wearing the male version of the school uniform: a white long sleeved button up shirt, long maroon pants, a red tie, and black shoes, though he wore it in a very untidy fashion. The sleeves of his shirt were pushed up to his elbows, his shirt untucked with most of the buttons undone, revealing the black singlet he wore underneath, and his tie hung loosely around his neck, messily knotted.

Sakura received the impression that he was either someone who did not care how he looked, someone who had just gotten into a fight, or both.

Sakura scrutinized his face once more. His features were flawless and his expression, or lack thereof, seemed to give off a dangerous vibe, but that was not what had triggered the vague feeling in Sakura's mind that there was something off about his face. Searching for the cause, Sakura had to fight to keep the amusement off her face when the answer dawned on her.

He had _no eyebrows_.

Laughing insanely in the privacy of her own mind, she allowed her eyes to drift to the person seated in front of her new seat.

Keen brown eyes pierced through her, seeming to analyze her every move. Sakura, still making her way through the sea of desks towards the back of the classroom, felt her steps falter slightly. However, she resisted the urge to avert her gaze, determined not to show weakness of any sort.

She was slightly surprised when the owner of the brown eyes was the one to avert his gaze, the formerly intense look in his eyes dissolving into a bored, almost lazy one, tilting his head so that it was once more cushioned by his arms on the desk he was slumped over. She could have sworn she heard him mutter, "Troublesome."

She took advantage of his lack of attention (or interest) and took in his jet black hair, pulled back into a queer ponytail that sort of resembled a pineapple, handsome, almost rugged features, emphasized by the single stud earring he wore in his right ear, as well as his rumpled uniform.

Like the redheaded boy who sat in the desk diagonally behind him, he wore the white button up shirt, maroon pants, black shoes and red tie of their school's uniform. Unlike the redhead, however, the sleeves of his shirt, rather than being pushed up, were rolled up to his elbows, his tie slightly looser and more neatly knotted, and he chose to wear the sleeveless, v-necked, gray pullover vest that was optional in both the male and female school uniform.

By the time Sakura was finished with her mental observation of her two classmates, she had already reached her seat.

As she sat down gracefully and absently started to pull out her pencil case and other necessary stationery out of her backpack, she turned her eyes towards the desk that was to her immediate right, taking in its occupant.

He turned out to be the blonde boy who had asked her which school she had previously attended. His blonde hair was shorter and spikier than the redhead's, and did not fall into his eyes. He was fairly tan, a shade or two darker than the black haired boy, and much more tan than the redhead – who, she noted, had a pale, almost sickly complexion. She also noted with slight surprise that the blonde had three lines running across each cheek, greatly resembling whiskers.

His clear, cerulean blue eyes shone with excitement and happiness, and Sakura realized with a start that that excitement and happiness had to be directed at _her_, seeing as to the fact that it was she that the blonde was currently grinning wildly at, flashing his set of straight, perfectly white teeth.

Inner Sakura chose to wake up just as Sakura mustered up a small smile in reply.

'_**Oh, my Lord. I must have died and gone to heaven. I'M FUCKING SURROUNDED BY HOT GUYS!'**_

_**

* * *

**_

Okay! You can ask me for any translations for Japanese terms I might have left out! I really disliked this chapter, I must have reread it at least six times, trying to figure out how to continue writing it, so on and so forth. I got stuck multiple times, and I noticed that I used overly long sentences in every paragraph. GRAH! I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how to change it. Suggestions, please?

Do you think that the english I used in the narration is too formal-y? It annoys me, but I always write like that -_-

Also, there was too little dialogue and not much Inner Sakura! Maybe that's why I overused the long sentences? I'll try to add more dialogue next chapter so that it won't be so boring!

I will learn from past mistakes and not set a deadline for myself, so that I can't pass it! I can only promise you, my dear readers, that I will update ASAP! Reviews help... hint, hint.

Peace out! (I love saying that, doesn't it sound awesomely cool? Lol.)

Amanda


	5. In which there is no plot advancement

Author's Note: I LIVE! (I've been dreaming of beginning this chapter with this line! :D) Yes, yes, contrary to popular belief, I am indeed alive and back to continue this story! As you can tell from its title, this chapter has no plot advancement whatsoever (Yes, I DO have a plot.) So think of this as a filler to hold you guys over until I can get down to writing the next chapter. I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. And it's kinda short.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! SERIOUSLY. Your reviews make my day! That's why you should review! A happy writer is a productive one!

Thanks to every single one of my readers and reviewers and people who have put my story on their favourite stories list or story alert! And those who put me on their author alert and favourite author lists! You guys are actually so numerous I feel tired just thinking of typing out all of your names! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I HAVE 61 REVIEWS!

Yeah, anyway, life has been going on, leaving me behind, weighed down with stacks of homework. And my computer died. And my notes for this story got lost (I think they flew out the window, no kidding.) So, yeah. Since I'm using a laptop that has no internet access to write this, I can't refer to all my lovely people who I should give credit to. Which means I will thank you all NEXT CHAPTER! If I get my new laptop by then.

* * *

Disclaimer:

**Author**

_Author's brain _(Yes, I usually talk without my brain. It's called word vomit.)

**I OWN NARUTO! KAKASHI IS MINE!**

_No you don't. _

**YES I DO! **

_Is your name Kishimoto Masashi?_

**No…**

_Did you draw/ write/ animate the Naruto manga and/or anime?_

**No…**

_Do you want to get hounded by those thrice damned hounds of he- *cough* I mean, by lawyers?_

…

…

**YOU'RE SO MEAN TO MEEEEEE! *sob***

_Shut up and confess. CONFESS DAMN YOU!_

**I DON'T OWN NARUTO AND ALL ITS RELATED STUFF! THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?**

'_Stuff'? Is that the best you can do? You call yourself a writer?_

… **DIEEEEEE!**

And that, folks, is why I find myself a little short on brain cells.

Anyway, ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

"talking"

'_thinking'_

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(_Translation from Japanese to English)_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Five

* * *

_Inner Sakura chose to wake up just as Sakura mustered up a small smile in reply._

'**Oh, my Lord. I must have died and gone to heaven. I'M FUCKING SURROUNDED BY HOT GUYS!'**

* * *

Inner Sakura was promptly shoved to the back of Sakura's mind as she turned her attention back to Kakashi, who had once again started talking.

"Well, then, since Sakura seems to be comfortable, I'm no longer needed," Kakashi let his face slip into his trademark crinkle-eyed smile, not showing a hint of his rather murderous mental threats towards the male students. "Ja! (_Bye!)_"

With that said, Kakashi slipped out of the room, casually sauntering to the staff lounge. There were still a few hours before his next lesson, and he planned to make full use of that time to read his beloved Icha Icha in peace. (The fact that he was actually supposed to remain for twenty more minutes in his form class had _conveniently_ slipped his mind.)

Sakura stared, slightly stupefied, at the doorway through which Kakashi had just made his quick getaway. Chancing a glance around the class, she surmised that he must have done this quite often, as she seemed to be the only one remotely affected by his behaviour.

"Ano Kaka-sensei! (_That Kaka-sensei!_) He always does that, dattebayo!" The frustrated cry to her right drew her attention back to the blonde boy sitting there.

"He does?" She ventured shyly. Sakura didn't have many friends, and the lack of (friendly) contact with people her age had led to her possessing less-than-stellar social skills. She didn't know how she should go about making friends, or how to initiate an amiable conversation, for that matter. She mostly handled everything with her fists back at her old school – which, funnily enough, she didn't think would be the wisest course of action here.

"Yup! You should see the way he – Oh, oops! I forgot to introduce myself! Uzumaki Naruto desu, dattebayo! (_I'm Uzumaki Naruto, believe it!_)" The blonde said all in one breath, giving her a wide, sunny smile. The answering smile tugged at Sakura's lips, but before she could reply, another voice distracted her.

"Oi, Naruto! Stop harassing the new girl!"

Sakura turned her head to the girl who had spoken, and realized it was the girl who had quite randomly asked her if her hair colour was natural earlier. She was sitting just a few desks away, diagonally to the right and to the front of Naruto's seat. Said girl was currently busy bickering with Naruto.

"Inooooooo! I'm not harassing Sakura-channn! I was just being friendly!"

"You were totally harassing her! The poor thing was obviously overwhelmed by you and your obnoxiousness!" Inner Sakura snorted.

'_**Us? Overwhelmed? Why I oughta show her **_**overwhelmed**_** –'**_

'_Inner… I'm sure she didn't mean it as an insult…'_

'_**Seriously? Did you not hear her refer to us as 'poor thing'? WHERE IS YOUR PRIDE, WOMAN!'**_

Meanwhile, Ino and Naruto were continuing their... _scholarly debate._

"I was not!"

"Was too!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TOO!"

The four of them were so absorbed in their own conversations, they had forgotten about the other party until…

"Dobe. Shut up." An annoyed voice interrupted their conversations and drew their attention to the speaker.

Sakura once again turned her head towards the speaker. This time, it was a boy who had spoken. His jet black hair framed his face in the front, only to stick up oddly in the back. His onyx eyes were filled with annoyance, presumably towards one, or all, of them, and his features were flawless, even contorted in slight annoyance as it was, his complexion, pale. His uniform was casually rumpled, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tie knotted loosely around his neck – Sakura didn't blame the guys for their loosely knotted ties, more often than not, she felt as if they were on a mission to cause her death by slow strangulation – and he casually leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

The pinkette supposed this guy was the epitome of what constituted 'cool' in most girls' books. However, if she was asked, she would probably describe him as –

'_**Chicken. Ass.' **_

Well, yes. That.

Inner Sakura lasted the total of one second after her declaration before bursting into hysterical laughter.

* * *

"Sasuke, you bastard!" Naruto yelled, turning towards the boy, who was seated directly to his right.

'_Well, that solved the mystery of who the boy was addressing.'_ Sakura thought dryly. Inner Sakura, rolling on the floor of the realm Sakura imagined her to be in, was too caught up in her laughter to reply.

The boy Naruto called Sasuke merely rolled his eyes and redirected Naruto's attention with an ease that could only be achieved through practice. Lots and lots of it.

"You forgot the new girl." He stated.

"Oh right!" Naruto exclaimed, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. Turning to Sakura, he addressed her, "Sorry Sakura-chan!"

Sakura merely smiled and shook her head, indicating that it was alright.

"Anyway, that girl over there, the really loud and rude one-"

"Hey!" Said girl interjected angrily, but Naruto continued on as if there had been no interruption.

"Is Yamanaka Ino. That teme_(bastard)_ over there-"

The black-haired boy rolled his eyes.

"Is Uchiha Sasuke."

'_**CHIHUAHUA? THE DUDE'S NAMED AFTER A DOG?'**_

'… _Not Chihuahua. UCHIHA.'_

**'…'**

_'…'_

'_**Meh. Same difference.'**_

_'…'_

_****____'…'_  


'_In_-ner_…' _Sakura mentally sighed.

'_**What? It's not like I called him ugly! Hey, speaking of which, he's kinda hot… I LOVE THIS CLASS!'**_

* * *

I'd like to think of myself as the only one who has ever thought of comparing Uchiha to Chihuahua (Of all the fics I have read, I've never come across it) SO PLEASE DON'T STEAL IT IF YOU SEE IT HERE! At least gimme credit! I thrive on it!

To Bingo, my anonymous reviewer: Thanks for the review! :) I'm glad you liked it. About the Japanese… you're right, I am a beginner in Japanese. However, I really like the fics in which they use some snippets of Japanese (like suffixes, trademark phrases, sounds, stuff like that) since I believe that's the only way to truly portray the character as their creators wanted them to be. And since I view this fanfic in a sort of anime style when I think about it, it's fitting for it to resemble the usage of Japanese in animes. (Seriously, if every Japanese talked in the cutesy way, it'd be weird) To each his/her own, I guess :) I'm grateful for the constructive criticism.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! (Be nice please. See, I even said please!)

Peace out!

Amanda


	6. The weird teacher with the sparkly teeth

Author's Note: HELLO ALL! :D I'm back! This chapter is an okay length, but it's a little boring (only one new character is introduced) I'm so sorry! I tried to make it as funny as possible... but... well...

In other news, I drew a manga for my exam last year and it's on exhibition this week! :) Yay for me! Even though I think it's unworthy... thank you for choosing it for the exhibition, person-in-charge-of-the-exhibition!

I feel so loved by all you readers! 89 reviews! It just blows my mind! I'd like to thank each and every one of you personally. I'm sorry if I couldn't reply to your reviews, either because you disabled PMs or it was an anonymous review. Regardless, please know that I take your advice and encouragement to heart!

I'm still dying from too much homework. And my project work group member made me cry. Meanie! Ugh, men.

* * *

Disclaimer: Hn. (Don't own it)

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

"talking in English"

'_thinking'_

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(_Translation from Japanese to English)_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Six

The weird teacher with the sparkly teeth

* * *

"_That teme(bastard) over there-"_

_The black-haired boy rolled his eyes._

"_Is Uchiha Sasuke."_

'**CHIHUAHUA? THE DUDE'S NAMED AFTER A DOG?'**

'… Not Chihuahua. UCHIHA.'

'…'

'…'

'**Meh. Same difference.'**

'Inner…'_ Sakura mentally sighed._

'**What? It's not like I called him ugly! Hey, speaking of which, he's kinda hot… I LOVE THIS CLASS!'**

* * *

Sakura really, _really _wanted to strangle Inner. She had been bouncing about Sakura's head, screaming about how hot Sasuke and Naruto were (which was extremely distracting) while Ino and Naruto bickered over some inane issue – who they should introduce to Sakura next – while Sasuke ignored them and stared at the whiteboard at the front of class with a blank expression.

Just then, the classroom door slammed open with great force, crashing into the wall and leaving dents and cracks at the site of the impact. In its wake, a figure leaped past the doorway into the classroom. His long black hair swung around him, their uneven lengths causing portions of it to spike up here and there, his red eyes with – were those commas? – black patterns in them were crinkled upwards due to the wide grin he sported. Blindingly white teeth sparkled at them from a handsome face. The stranger wore a white shirt and black slacks, and carried a book under one arm. His youthful appearance almost led Sakura into believing that he was a student here, but his attire, as well as the book's title, '_Teaching for Dummies'_, gave him away.

"Good morning, class!" He shouted in English, seemingly oblivious to the damage he had inflicted onto the poor, innocent wall.

Sakura was surprised to hear Sasuke snort from somewhere to her right, mumbling "Idiot" under his breath. This managed to break both Sakura and Inner Sakura from their stupefied shock.

'_Red eyes with BLACK PATTERNS IN THEM? That's impossible! Not to mention that his teeth is unnaturally white! It's genetically impossible!'_ Sakura's logical mind filled with scientific theories made it hard for her to accept this man's unique traits. _'Well, maybe the eyes are some kind of rare genetic disease? That would work… and as for the teeth… well, he's just a freak of nature.'_ Sakura concluded, satisfied at having explained everything away.

'_**Freak is right! What kind of idiot prances into a classroom? And he's supposed to be our teacher? It's a good thing we rock at English…'**_

'_Inner, that's mean! He might be a good teacher!'_

'_**Right. Hence the book.'**_Inner said skeptically.

'_Umm… he might have natural talent?'_ Sakura supplied weakly.

Inner snorted.

* * *

The rest of the class seemed similarly dumbfounded by the teacher's grand entrance – meaning that this was not an everyday occurrence. Sakura mentally sighed in relief. Outwardly, she said, "Um, good morning, teacher. Please take care of school property…"

The teacher's head swiveled around and his gaze zeroed in onto her.

"Is that proper English I hear?" He gasped dramatically. "Oh, you must be the new student! Sakura-chan~!"

Suddenly, he was standing in front of her, all the way at the back of the classroom. Sakura reacted instinctively to such an intense display of speed, and punched the teacher across the room, right into the damaged wall. It gave an imaginary groan of pain.

Sakura freaked out.

"Oh my Lord, I punched a teacher! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Sakura babbled as she darted across the room to the fallen teacher.

Meanwhile, Inner, unconcerned as to the welfare of the English teacher, was busy analyzing Sakura's reaction.

'_**Hmm… Reaction time was not bad, it was about, what? 0.1 seconds? But the angle of impact needs to be worked on, that angle wasn't really effective. I blame that on the panic…'**_

_'Inner! Be serious! I punched a teacher! Oh my Lord, Mother is gonna…'_ A sudden realization hit Sakura. Why was she so panicked? It's not like she was going to be punished. No, Tsunade would probably compliment her on her punch, since she was the one who taught it to Sakura in the first place. Her parents were no longer breathing down her neck, pressuring her to not make mistakes… Sakura swallowed past the lump that suddenly formed in her throat, desperately holding onto her promise to herself that she would not cry over them ever again.

* * *

Madara observed the new girl kneeling at his side through slitted eyes. She was really cute, beautiful, _exquisite_… However, that harmless-looking exterior was a lie. That girl sure could pack a punch. His stomach ached from her blow – no easy feat, it took a lot of strength just to cause _Uchiha Madara_, famed head of the Uchiha clan, master of martial arts, and more, to feel a pinprick of pain. Yet, he could feel his excitement rising. He rarely met a woman who could interest him. Though this was a girl, not yet a woman… ah well, since when did he, Uchiha Madara, let something as trivial as _age_ get in his way?

His newly found angel, still kneeling next to him, now had a look of sorrow on her heavenly features. That would just not do! He should cheer her up!

Madara swooped up and crushed Sakura to him in a hug, too fast for the eye to see, and faster than Sakura could react. "Ah, my angel! I have finally found you! I'll never let you go!" He swung Sakura around, still in his arms, her legs a foot off the ground, just because he could.

The class looked on incredulously. I mean, they knew their teacher was an idiot, but this was taking it to a whole new level. However, in mid spin, Madara turned his eyes –demonic, red, and fiery- to them, and the silent, yet powerful echo of **'Mine!'** was enough to scare most into looking away. Madara's demonic look then melted back into one of utter bliss and happiness, before Sakura could notice.

* * *

Sakura, meanwhile, was trying very hard not to be blinded by the weird teacher's freakishly white teeth. Inner Sakura had passed out from blood loss due to nosebleed at the beginning of her teacher's hug, when they felt their teacher's chiseled muscles pressing against them. Sakura, on the other hand, was trying very hard, in vain, not to blush. She wasn't used to such close contact with a guy!

"Um… Please put me down…" Sakura face, resting against the teacher's shoulder, was beet red.

"No! I don't want to!" The infuriating man declared petulantly. Sakura snapped. Her emotions were already going hay wire – first, Inner gives her a headache because she's swooning over all her class mates and teachers, then this man destroys the classroom, then he triggers her reflexes and causes her to assault said teacher, making her panic, probably freaking out her classmates in the process too, and then, she gets a painful reminder of her parents. Now, this strange, infuriating man snatched her up in a hug and is swinging her around like a rag doll?

As usual, when she got angry, Sakura channeled her inner self. She somehow managed to kick the teacher away from her, landing on her feet and glaring at him.

"I asked you to fucking. Put me. Down." Sakura gritted out, trying to reign in her temper. However, Inner, newly revived, refused to back down. "Which part of that do you not fucking understand? Not to mention, I just punched you across the room, and you call me your angel? What are you, some kind of masochist?"

"I can be. If you want me to." Madara winked at her, not threatened at all. The cheesy pick up line, along with the emotional roller coaster Sakura just went through, broke through her anger and she collapsed into peals of laughter. Dimly, she heard Inner saying that it was worrying how her moods changed so fast.

After awhile, Sakura's laughter died down and she straightened, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "No, thank you," She chuckled. "By the way, who are you?"

Madara, it seemed, had been mesmerized by his angel's pure laughter. Snapping out of his trance, he puffed out his chest and proudly said, "I, my angel, am Uchiha Madara! Head of the Madara clan and your English teacher! Oh right, I should be talking in English!" He switched languages in the middle of his speech, causing Sakura to sweat drop.

'_**So much for natural talent… He forgot to speak in English during his English lesson! Not to mention he wasted what, twenty minutes of the lesson already?'**_ Inner criticized. Sakura couldn't help but agree. Just then, the two of them remembered the first part of the teacher's speech – in particular, his name.

Emotionally and mentally tired from the events of the morning, Sakura's mental barriers were down. This resulted in a phenomenon known as word vomit.

"What, _another_ Chihuahua?" She blurted out.

Complete and total silence met her statement. Madara's face, partially frozen in a grin, stared blankly at her. He'd expected her to be impressed, damnit!

'_**Awkwaaaaaarrrrdddddd!'**_ Inner took great pleasure in declaring. Sakura mentally face palmed.

* * *

A/N: And that's it for today! Thanks everyone, for reading. Now REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I think I screwed up Madara's characterisation, but hey, this is the guy who acts like a five year old as a disguise! I'd like to think that he did so not only because it would be totally unexpected of the Greath Uchiha Madara, but also because deep down, he's cheerful, freaky and childish all at the same time!

Peace Out!

Amanda


	7. The danger of GERMS!

AN: Hello, my dear readers!

Have you missed me? I've missed you! Life has been hectic, belated happy New Year and Merry Christmas to you all, as well as Happy Chinese New Year to all you Chinese people out there!

Guys, please please please review! It helps to motivate me to write, and as you can tell, I really need it, I take SUPER long to finish writing one chapter. Rest assured that I won't abandon this story though!

Thanks to all who review, follow this story and read this! Love you all! Yes, I do mean in that creepy, stalker-ish way where I know you addresses, full names and favourite colour. ...Alright, relax, I'm kidding.

* * *

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would be able to afford a MacBook.

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura**_'

(translation from Japanese to English)

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Seven

The danger of GERMS!

* * *

_Just then, the two of them remembered the first part of the teacher's speech – in particular, his name. _

_Emotionally and mentally tired from the events of the morning, Sakura's mental barriers were down. This resulted in a phenomenon known as word vomit._

"_What, _another_ Chihuahua?" She blurted out._

_Complete and total silence met her statement. Madara's face, partially frozen in a grin, stared blankly at her. He'd expected her to be impressed, damnit!_

'**Awkwaaaaaarrrrdddddd!'**_ Inner took great pleasure in declaring. Sakura mentally face palmed._

* * *

Sakura fidgeted uncomfortably. After her rather inappropriate moment of word vomit, she had proceeded to stand opposite her teacher, in front of the whole class, for an exceedingly long minute, no one knowing what to say, before Naruto burst into peals of laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Teme! She called you a chi…" he wheezed, breathless from laughter, "…Chihuahua!" That said, he once again succumbed to hysterical laughter, falling out of his chair and rolling on the floor. Sasuke, who by now had a slightly pink tinge to his face, delivered a powerful kick to his abdomen that sent Naruto into the back wall to the classroom. The ensuing fistfight seemed to lighten the tension of the room.

"I'm so sorry, sensei!" Having regained her senses, Sakura bowed repeatedly, mortified at her lapse of control, both over her reflexes, her mini temper tantrum, and her reaction to his name.

"Sakura-chan! I'm so hurt! How could you?" Madara looked at her with huge, watery eyes.

'_**How the hell can he make **_**red eyes**_** look so adorable? I don't believe it, he must be hypnotising you or something!**_' Inner Sakura criticised. However, Sakura did not hear her, because she was internally panicking over how _she had hurt her teacher, oh Lord, what should she do? _

"I'm so sorry!" Sakura repeated, on the verge of tears.

"Sakura-chan," Madara purred, while Sakura wondered how he had managed to smoothly sidle up to her side and sling an arm around her, "Why don't you make up for it by going out with me on a d- " He was abruptly cut off when his book, '_Teaching for Dummies' _slammed into his face, causing his to topple backwards, momentarily unconscious.

Inner Sakura was furious. '_**WHO WAS THE IDIOT WHO INTERRUPTED THIS HUNK WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO ASK US ON A DATE? WHY I OUGHTA – **_**Oh**_**..**_'

Inner was rendered speechless by the sight of the one who had thrown the book, and frankly, Sakura couldn't blame her.

* * *

Dark orange hair was the first thing that caught her eye. Spiked up in random directions, while still managing to maintain some semblance of order, it fell into the mystery person's eyes. His mysterious, ringed, _greyish-purple_ eyes. He sported a series of rather painful looking onyx coloured piercings, along his ears, his nose as well as his lower lip. However, instead of detracting from his overall physical appearance, as they were wont to do for many people, they emphasized his chiselled, mature features and powerful gaze.

The stranger wore a full length, high collared black cloak, which had designs of red clouds on them. From what Sakura could see, he was wearing his uniform underneath – the bottoms of his uniform slacks just barely peeked out from the bottom of his cloak. Before Sakura could contemplate his weird sense of style, she was distracted by something else.

The very air around the stranger seemed to be different, in the sense that he practically oozed authority and intimidation. Inner Sakura helpfully pointed out that he had the same 'feel' as a very powerful, very successful leader, surprising Sakura, because Inner sounded remarkably smart for someone who was rendered speechless not a minute ago. Inner, upon hearing Sakura's thought, promptly threw a mini tantrum and went to sulk in an obscure corner of Sakura's mind.

* * *

The stranger stalked over to the comatose form of Madara, sprawled rather unglamorously on the ground. A well placed kick to the ribs – Sakura winced in sympathy – woke Madara, who groaned quite pathetically.

"Let's go, Madara." His deep, baritone voice was commanding and emotionless, and echoed throughout the silent room.

Madara squinted up at the figure before him, before his eyes brightened in recognition and he leapt up with an exuberant cry – a_ manly_ cry, damnit, _not _a squeal - of "Pein!", intending to glomp said person.

Pein neatly sidestepped Madara, and with a roll of his eyes, repeated, "Madara, let's go. You can also get that checked," He added, pointing to a previously unnoticed cut on Madara's cheek, that had been obtained sometime in between him getting punched across the room by Sakura, kicked away by the same girl, hit in the face with his own book, and stomped on unceremoniously by his student. Yes, his life sucked.

As Madara got lost in his thoughts and started to stare blankly into space, Pein rolled his eyes again. Madara was truly a useless teacher, formidable reputation notwithstanding. He had been on his way to his class when he noticed said teacher being his usual idiotic self, and so, feeling a strange urge to help out the troubled looking student Madara was harassing, he stepped in to remove the Uchiha patriarch from the situation. As his previous methods to get Madara to leave failed, he was left with only one option – violence. Pein seized Madara's wrist and started to bodily drag him out of the room, snapping Madara out of his daze.

"Aww, but I don't wannaaaaaa…." Madara dug his feet into the ground it stood on – well, as much as one can when the ground he is standing on is concrete – and pouted, resisting Pein's attempts to escort him out of the class. Pein's eyebrow twitched. He was just about to do something painful, and hopefully permanently disabling, to the infuriating teacher to _force_ him to comply, when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"But Sensei, you _must_ go to the infirmary and get your wounds checked!" Sakura cried, large green eyes filled with concern for him.

"Sakura-chan! You do care!" Madara was about to lunge towards Sakura – no mean feat, because she had managed to escape all the way to the back of the room, far, _far_ away from him – but Sakura continued to speak, ignoring him.

"I mean, sure, it's only a tiny cut… but… this floor is quite dirty, not to mention all the airborne germs and diseases and viruses flying around. They can easily pass through this opening into your body, infiltrating your bloodstream and reaching vital organs, then, due to the optimum warm temperature in all human bodies, fester and multiply and grow until they slowly take over your organs, shutting them down one by one and causing you unimaginable pain and suffering, so you die a slow and horrible death!" Sakura finished her rather long tirade, wide-eyed, the epitome of seriousness.

Silence reigned for a moment. Then…

"WAAAHHHHH! I'm going to die! Take me to the infirmary NOW!" Madara, notorious and feared ruling presence of the Yakuza, dissolved into tears and clutched frantically at the front of Pein's cloak. "I can see it, Pein! The light… at the end of the tunnel…!" He trailed off weakly, dramatically reaching towards some random spot in the air, hand suspended and trembling, a look of tragic sorrow on his face. Pein rolled his eyes and hit the teacher over the head none too gently, knocking him out (again).

Leaving his teacher's corpse, er, that is, his _prone and vulnerable, but still alive form_, on the floor in front of the classroom temporarily, Pein strode down the aisle between desks towards Sakura, internally relishing the way the students shrank away from him. Stopping in front of the pinkette, his hand descended one, twice, _thrice_ on her head of unusually coloured hair. Though his expression remained wooden, and his piercings gleamed somewhat evilly in the light on the room, and half his face was cast into shadow, he gave of a feeling of comfort (at least to Sakura. She couldn't really say the same for the guy in the front row who_ might_ have wet himself…). She smiled up at him, steadfastly ignoring Inner Sakura's drooling and general fangirling in the backdrop of her mind.

"You may feel free to visit my club." Was all he stated, before turning around and heading out of the class, dragging Madara along by one of his feet.

'_Club as in let's-party-the-night-away-jumping-and-spazzing-to-music kinda club? Or club as in jolly-good-old-chap!-that's-another-ten-thousand-if-you-want-to-keep-your-membership-and-play-golf-to-your-heart's-content kinda club?'_

'_**Meh. Who knows? With his piercings, it might be a mass-murdering-world-dominating-bloodthirsty-group-of-rebel-ninjas-who-happen-to-all-be-super-hot-single-**_**and**_**-straight-guys kinda club.'**_

'_We can only hope.'_

* * *

Aaand that's all! I really enjoyed writing the last part. Hehehehe.

By the way, the Yakuza is the Japanese mafia, if anyone doesn't know.

Peace out!

Amanda


	8. Hermits FTW!

AN: I have this feeling that I'm spoiling you guys, you know? Two updates in two months! I haven't been this efficient since chapters one to three!

Anyway, my lovelies, thanks for reading and reviewing and adding this story to your lists! I'm really flattered, actually, because this is my first fanfic and all. I think this chapter is really sucky, and I'm quite upset about it. However, it can't be helped, I was slightly emo when I started this chapter so it sort of shows.

On another note, PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! If I did, well... *evil laugh*

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(translation from Japanese to English)

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Eight

Hermits FTW!

* * *

_Previously..._

'Club as in let's-party-the-night-away-jumping-and-spazzing-to-music kinda club? Or club as in jolly-good-old-chap!-that's-another-ten-thousand-if-you-want-to-keep-your-membership-and-play-golf-to-your-heart's-content kinda club?'

'**Meh. Who knows? With his piercings, it might be a mass-murdering-world-dominating-bloodthirsty-group-of-rebel-ninjas-who-happen-to-all-be-super-hot-single-**_**and**_**-straight-guys kinda club.'**

'We can only hope.'

* * *

Yamanaka Ino surveyed the retreating back of the Akatsuki leader, her gaze partially obscured by her platinum blonde fringe – speaking of which, she really _should_ change her conditioner, her current one just wasn't working for her anymore – and couldn't deny that she felt immensely relieved to see him go, a sentiment that she was sure the rest of the class shared, as conversations slowly started up among the students. Don't get her wrong, Pein_ was_ irresistibly hot, not to mention powerful, strong and rich, but she wasn't _suicidal_. The Akatsuki were bad news._ Everyone_ knew that.

Well, she amended, catching sight of the new pink haired student,_ almost_ everyone.

Covertly observing the new girl, Ino couldn't deny that she was an enigma. Effortlessly gaining the attentions of some of the prime slices of meat – er, she meant, some of the best-looking males – in the school, while seemingly unaware of it, having _natural_ pink hair, taking on ten people single-handedly and _winning_, being so pretty, being unafraid of Pein (you have to admit, those piercings were intimidating, she _swore_ she saw a middle school kid take one look at Pein and wet himself) and despite all of this, _still_ being socially awkward.

Yes, the new girl was socially awkward. Not as much as Gaara, or Sasuke, or Lord forbid, _Sai_, but Ino could see the subtle signs of uncertainty in her actions – how she paused minutely before responding to people, as if she didn't know how to react when in casual conversation. Even now, as Ino watched Naruto chatter about some inane thing at her, complete with overenthusiastic hand gestures, she could see the slight hesitance in Sakura's eyes, the way her eyes occasionally shifted to the side, as if she was looking for someone to guide her in her social interactions. It was a little cute, really, like how Hinata's stuttering was endearing.

Well, Ino decided, she'd taken Hinata under her wing, what was one more?

* * *

Sakura nodded along to what Naruto was saying – she thought it was something about ramen, she kind of tuned out after the first five minutes of non-stop talking (didn't he need to _breathe_?) – while thinking about her recent encounter with Pein and Madara, and simultaneously trying to figure out how to shut Naruto up politely, wondering if this is what normal people did, let people talk their ears off because they were friends?

'_**Oh my Lord, please just shut him up! PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING MOUTH, I CAN'T STAND HEARING THIS ANYMORE! IF I HEAR ONE MORE 'DATTEBAYO'….!'**_

'_Inner, I don't think people punch their friends/acquaintances in the mouth to shut them up. What if I ask him to shut up and hurt his feelings? Even if I do it nicely, it's pretty mean, right? Maybe I should just give some stupid excuse like 'I need to go to the washroom'? I'd still have to interrupt him though, isn't that rude? Urgh, I can't do this shit, we should just become hermits and cease all social interaction!'_

Luckily for Sakura, salvation came in the form of a blue-eyed platinum blonde.

Shoving Naruto out of his seat, Ino sat down, facing Sakura.

"Lesson number one," Ino announced. "If you are getting tired of the conversation, just say so. If it's Naruto, just tell him to shut up. If it's anyone else, say 'Shut up, _please_'. Got it?" She then flashed Sakura a friendly smile.

Sakura smiled back, relieved and grateful and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Inner Sakura faked puking.

"Thanks, Ino-san," Sakura said. Ino just tossed her long blonde ponytail over her shoulder, and changed the subject.

"Just Ino's fine. So, anyway, you should be careful, Sakura, the Akatsuki aren't people you should mess with," she warned, becoming more serious with each word.

Sakura, on the other hand, was nonplussed. "Akatsuki?" She repeated.

'_What does 'Red Dawn' have to do with anything?'_

Inner Sakura shrugged.

"Ino, Sakura-chan's new. She obviously doesn't know who the Akatsuki are, dattebayo," Naruto said in a voice that screamed 'you're-such-an-_idiot'_, as he decided to re-enter the conversation, nodding his head sagely. He relished the moment. Usually,_ he_ was on the receiving end of that tone.

A vein in Ino's temple twitched. "SHUT UP, NARUTO-BAKA!" She yelled, bopping him over the head.

"OW! INO!"

Before a fight could ensue, they were cut off by another voice. "Tch, how troublesome. I'm trying to sleep," A voice drawled.

Sakura realized that the person who had spoken was the boy who sat directly in front of her, the one with the pineapple hairstyle. Ignoring the two blondes, who were whining about how he was a jerk, he addressed Sakura, "I'm Nara Shikamaru. The Akatsuki is an infamous gang of students from this school that do troublesome stuff like fighting. They are distinguished by that cloak Pein was wearing. Pein is the leader, Madara is teacher-in-charge." He was obviously trying to impart the most information in the least amount of words, probably to try and cut the conversation short so he could go back to sleep.

'_**Lazy bastard**_,' Inner Sakura commented, '_**Though, he's a **_**hot**_** lazy bastard, so I guess that's excusable**_.'

Sakura internally rolled her eyes at Inner. Outwardly, she asked, "Teacher-in-charge? So when Pein-san said 'club', he meant it like an extra-curricular school activity kinda club?"

Ino, having gotten tired of whining at Shikamaru and getting no response, piped up, "Yup! The Akatsuki are actually Konoha High's…"

She paused for dramatic effect.

Sakura and Inner Sakura were wildly guessing what kind of club would serve as a cover for a notorious gang with a bad-ass sounding name.

The Judo club?

Kendo?

The basketball team, maybe?

Or soccer?

…

…

…

"… Gardening Club."

…

..

.

'…_**What the **_**fuck**_**?'**_ Inner Sakura voiced the thought running through both of their minds.

An image of Pein, tall, intimidating, piercing-laden Pein, crouching in front of a bunch of sunflowers, holding a sparkly pink watering can, popped into Sakura's head.

Sakura died.

Of laughter.

* * *

As Sakura's laughter subsided, she noticed that majority of the class was watching her, and that it was eerily quiet. She cleared her throat awkwardly, feeling self-conscious. Her classmates slowly turned away, going back to their previous conversations. When Sakura had laughed, it wasn't the delicate, tinkling laughter one might expect from someone who looked so slight. In fact, it was loud, and vibrated throughout her body, genuine in a way that made it contagious. Many students suddenly got the feeling that the new transfer student would make school life much more chaotic – as if the episode with Madara-sensei hadn't given it away.

Sakura turned her attention back to the people in her immediate vicinity, noting that Ino was still in Naruto's seat and Naruto had settled for sitting at Ino's desk, which was in front of his own, and diagonally to the right of Sakura's, arms folded and sulking.

Ino clapped her hands together, suddenly remembering that they hadn't introduced Sakura to their classmates properly yet. "Eh, Sakura, going back to introductions, this girl here," She gestured to a huddled figure seated to the right of where Naruto was currently sitting, "Is Hyuuga Hinata."

Hinata was a girl with long blue hair. However, Sakura couldn't really see her face because she was huddled forward. Upon hearing her name, she turned minutely towards Sakura, muttering a soft "H-Hi", and letting Sakura catch a glimpse of pretty, delicate features that were coloured a deep red in an intense blush and pearly white eyes, before Hinata saw Naruto, who was sitting_ right next to her_, met his gaze, and turned even redder, whirling back around with a soft "Meep!".

Ino sighed, "Don't worry about her, she's usually not like that, it's all Naruto's fault!"

"Ehh? My fault? Why?"

Inner Sakura face palmed. _**'Sheesh, is he blind or something? Even **_**we**_** can tell that she has a massive crush on him…'**_

'_Be nice, Inner…'_ Sakura rebuked half-heartedly.

'_**Hmph.'**_

Quickly forgetting about Hinata's weird behaviour, Naruto picked up where Ino left off, "Yeah, and the guy sitting on your left is Gaara, dattebayo! OI, GAARA! Say hi to Sakura-chan!"

The redhead turned towards Naruto, a stoic expression on his face. Sakura noticed that due to her being on his right, she had missed an important detail of his appearance. Carved above his left eye was the kanji for 'Love', in blood red.

"AWESOME TATTOO! Where did you get it? I WANT ONE!" Sakura blurted out – well, more like yelled in excitement.

A pause.

'…_Why do I get the feeling that I just committed a faux pas?'_ Sakura asked Inner.

'_**Oh, I don't know, maybe because THE WHOLE CLASS HAS GONE SILENT, AGAIN?'**_ Inner Sakura retorted sarcastically.

Gaara's eyes slowly slid to meet her own. Jade met emerald green in a staring contest.

* * *

Naruto mentally let out a stream of curses as he sensed Gaara's killing intent rise. He, along with the rest of the class, had tensed, frozen in horror at Sakura's words. Why, oh _why_, had he not warned her beforehand? He prepared to jump in front of the inevitable attack Gaara would make on Sakura-chan, hoping that no one would get hurt. It turned out, however, that such an action was unnecessary.

Gaara's fist lashed out, almost too quick for the eye to see, heading straight for Sakura's abdomen, only to be caught equally quickly by her small, deceptively delicate hand.

"Wow, your movements are really fast! And strong! And your killing intent! It was so intense, how did you managed to get it to rise so quickly?" Sakura gushed. She was so happy to find a fellow fighter, who'd rather talk with fists than words. All this prancy shit with flowery language was getting on her nerves. A kindred spirit, at last! She flashed him a bright smile.

Behind his stoic mask, Gaara's brain short-circuited. What was with this freaky girl, with her pink hair, big eyes, quick reflexes and violent reactions? Not to mention that she was the first person _ever_ to smile at him like that, hell, she complimented him on his killing intent! His heart thudded strangely. He didn't understand this weird girl who caused his heart to react so strangely. So, Gaara did what he usually does to things that he doesn't understand.

"Hrnh." He grunted, pulling his arm free from her grasp, not without effort. He then proceeded to turn back to face the front blankly, ignoring her and hoping she would go away, like a particularly pesky and annoying fly.

Sakura sighed happily. This, she could understand. A clear dismissal, with no regard for proper manners and farewells, just like the fighters she spars with sometimes.

As she reminisced the happy times spent beating people into a bloody pulp, Sakura was oblivious to how the class seemed to be stunned into silence (again; it was getting really old…). Naruto slumped forward, his head hitting the desk with a loud 'thump', emotionally exhausted.

"Too… much… drama…" He mumbled into the plastic desk top. In the one and a half hours since the new girl came into their lives, she had: completely overthrown their first impression of her (and the second, and the third…), somehow gotten half the males in class (if not more) to fall in love with her, knocked their English teacher clear across the room (scaring the shit out of them), gotten said English teacher to fall in love with her (and indirectly reduced him to tears with a few words), had an amiable interaction with the fearsome Akatsuki leader (which was practically an 'I love you', coming from him), and done one of the major "no-no"s in the Rules for Escaping With Your Life After Meeting Gaara, all _without_ any negative consequences.

The class silently agreed with him.

They _really_ hoped that the feeling of Impending Doom, regarding the school year ahead of them, that was hovering over the class was just some mass hallucination or something.

* * *

AN 2: I really need feedback for this chapter! I tried to make it funny, but somehow...

I've been envisioning the "Akatsuki is actually Konoha High's... GARDENING CLUB!" scene for ages; I'm so happy I finally got down to writing it!

Oh, yeah, and I tried to develop Ino and Sakura's friendship a bit more, I get tired of reading AND writing only about Sakura and the boys. And Sakura's social awkwardness is my way of making sure she's not really a Mary Sue. Is it working?

I'm getting tired of saying 'Peace Out', so I'm just gonna say:

**BYE BYE! AND REVIEW! PLEASE!**

Amanda :)

P.S. I don't hold chapters hostage for reviews, because I find it unfair for the ones that do review, but reviews _do_ speed up my writing and make it better (because I get really high when reading reviews, which leads to me thinking more creatively, which leads to funnier and more original moments).


	9. In which Sakura falls in love Not

AN: I'm spoiling you guys even more! Here's another chapter for all you lovely readers and lovelier reviewers! I was reading my reviews and felt motivated to polish up this chapter. So here it is! The next update probably won't be for a while, I have exams coming up. :( So, because of that, I added in a special surprise at the end of the chapter! A new character is introduced! I was saving him for the big double digit chapter, but oh well.

Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, adds this to his/her lists, and/or adds me to their lists! Hugs to my reviewers! (Hahaha too bad all you other people, want a virtual hug? Then review!)

* * *

Disclaimer: This is disclaimer number nine,

I'm getting sick of wasting time,

Saying: Naruto isn't mine,

And from this, I don't even earn a dime!

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(translation from Japanese to English)

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Nine

In which Sakura falls in love, sort of. Not really.

* * *

"_Too… much… drama…" He mumbled into the plastic desk top. In the one and a half hours since the new girl came into their lives, she had: completely overthrown their first impression of her (and the second, and the third…), somehow gotten half the males in class (if not more) to fall in love with her, knocked their English teacher clear across the room (scaring the shit out of them), gotten said English teacher to fall in love with her (and indirectly reduced him to tears with a few words), had an amiable interaction with the fearsome Akatsuki leader (which was practically an 'I love you', coming from him), and done one of the major "no-no"s in the Rules for Escaping With Your Life After Meeting Gaara, all _without_ any negative consequences._

_The class silently agreed with him. _

_They _really_ hoped that the feeling of Impending Doom, regarding the school year ahead of them, that was hovering over the class was just some mass hallucination or something._

* * *

Sakura cocked her head to one side in puzzlement. She really didn't understand why a huge cloud of gloom was looming over the heads of her classmates, as well as why everyone seemed to be so drained. Huh. People in Konoha High were weird. Though, she supposed, coming from a former student of Oto High, whose student council president was wrapped up in bandages that looked like a Halloween costume gone horribly _wrong_, that wasn't saying much.

Before Sakura could ask what was wrong with her class, the bell signalling the end of the hour chimed. Distracted, she rummaged around her stuff in search of her timetable, eager to find out what her next lesson was. After a few seconds, it was obvious that she wasn't going to find it, and Inner Sakura didn't want to waste the energy required to dig up the image of the timetable stored in their subconscious. She was just lazy like that.

'_**Hey! Take that back! Do you know how cluttered your subconscious is? It's like a huge jungle in there! If I go in there, I might never return! And then where would you be? Huh?**_' Inner Sakura ranted, pretending to be mortally offended.

'_Oh, I don't know… _Without a voice in my head_?'_ Sakura retorted playfully.

She loved these mini-bantering sessions she had with Inner, they were always so entertaining.

… She distantly wondered if that should worry her.

'_**Whatever, Outer-chan, let's just go ask one of our hot seat-neighbours!' **_Inner Sakura continued, her eagerness for more friendly interaction with the handsome hunks of meat making her totally disregard proper vocabulary.

Sakura gave a mental shrug and turned to the right. Naruto was slumped on the desk, boneless and unresponsive. She shrugged again and turned to the left. Gaara was still staring blankly at the front of the class, ignoring her. Sakura shrugged for the third time and turned to the front. Shikamaru was sleeping. Oh well… she sh-

'_**Enough with the shrugging already! Just ask that guy!'**_ Inner Sakura snapped. She obviously wasn't too happy at being ignored – what was the point of being surrounded by hot guys if they didn't pay attention to her?

Sakura turned to the direction Inner was referring to, catching sight of a male figure who was wearing a shapeless light green-grey coat – _**'GAH! Fashion disaster in the making!'**_ Inner Sakura gasped, scandalised, sort of reminding Sakura of Ino – with the hood up, who was sitting in front of Gaara, with the window to his left and Shikamaru to his right. She reached over her desk, stretching her arm in front of her as far as it could go. Just a little more…!

She poked him in the shoulder.

* * *

Shino was enjoying the rare peace and quiet the class was experiencing, gently handling the ladybug that had just flew in through the open window next to him, while expertly ignoring Gaara's intense gaze, that seemed to be boring two holes into the back of his head– he knew that Gaara wasn't _actually_ staring at him, and was in truth, simply staring blankly in the general direction of the front of the class. That was one of the main reasons he was seated here, after all. He'd wanted a window seat, to be closer to his beloved bugs, and well, nobody else had had the guts to sit in front of Gaara and endure his blank stare every day. It was a win-win situation for all.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a prod to his right shoulder. Curious, he looked over said shoulder.

Ah. The new girl. Haruno Sakura. The one who had everyone in a tizzy, especially with that display with Gaara.

"…?" He inquired.

* * *

Sakura was in love. Well, not _really_, but she was _really_ impressed. Not only did this dude manage to pull off the whole sunglasses-and-semi-covered-face look, complete with overly shapeless and tasteless hoodie, without looking like he was going to pull out a weapon from the folds of his huge jacket and start going homicidal on everyone, but he could actually _ask questions without making any noise whatsoever_! Seriously, it was like he just turned to her and this huge question mark popped up over his head or something. Awesome. She really had to learn that. But she should get back to business.

"Sorry, what's the next class?"

"…"

"…?" Ha! Take that overly-suspicious-character! Sakura could ask silent questions too! Sakura preened internally, while Inner gave her a very sarcastic and unimpressed round of applause.

"Math, with Kakashi-sensei." Shino finally replied, after pausing briefly to recall the schedule for that day.

"Oh, thanks!" Sakura said cheerfully. "And, um, my name's Sakura… you are…?" She ended off slightly awkwardly.

"Aburame Shino."

"Ah. Okay. Er, hi…?"

"Hm."

Cue awkward silence.

Sakura fiddled with her stationery, looking away. Should she continue the conversation? He seems kind of reluctant to talk, though…

'_Kakashi-sensei, please hurry up….' _Sakura pleaded internally. Anything to end this torturous silence! He was already five minutes late! How much later would he be?

* * *

Fifteen extremely slow minutes later, Kakashi slouched into class, his nose still buried in his copy of Icha Icha Paradise. Waiting until the class finished their customary greeting of "You're LATE!", he lowered his book slightly, giving them a sheepish crinkle-eyed smile.

"Sorry, sorry. You see, there was this janitor, and…" He rattled off one of his more original excuses, before turning to the board and writing out an extremely difficult mathematical problem. Below it, he wrote 'SOLVE'. Kakashi then went to the teacher's desk and lounged in the chair provided, continuing to read his Icha Icha. From past experience, the only person who was able to solve it, Shikamaru, wouldn't be bothered to do so, so he wouldn't have to do any actual teaching, while the other students could get in some practice – after all, the steps of the sum got progressively harder, so all his students should be able to get at _least_ halfway through before getting stuck.

* * *

Sakura looked around the class. She could tell that Kakashi did this often – everyone was acting as though it was routine, and had each taken their respective courses of action with the ease of habit. Shikamaru was sleeping, Sasuke was scribbling somewhat determinedly on a piece of paper, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Naruto was passed out on the table, Ino was checking her reflection with a small handheld mirror… and the majority of the remaining students were picking up their pens to start work with the air of one picking up arms to go to battle.

The pinkette followed suit, scribbling down the question and starting to solve it. After twenty minutes, she reached what she was pretty sure was the final answer, checked for careless mistakes, and finding none, approached Kakashi.

Kakashi looked up at her when she reached his desk, pretending that he hadn't been aware of her since his entering the class.

"Yes, Sakura?" he smiled. "Are you having some problems with the question?"

"Erm, actually, I solved it already…" Sakura rubbed her arm self-consciously. Inner, fed up with Sakura's meek and humble act, screamed at her to stop acting like a pansy, or she'd dig up images of that time Kidomaru wore a dress to that one disastrous Halloween celebration at school. Sakura, sufficiently motivated, slid the paper containing her working to Kakashi with a modicum more confidence.

Kakashi looked over Sakura's working, heaving an internal sigh. Since one of his students had solved the question, he was now obligated to go through the solution with the rest of the class. He looked mournfully at the orange cover of Icha Icha, and heaved himself out of the chair with great reluctance. He did, however, pat Sakura on the head with a murmured, "Good Job." His precious girl couldn't _help_ that she was smart, after all, and she probably didn't mean to drag him away from his beloved story. (The last, and only, time Shikamaru had bothered to solve a question set by Kakashi, Kakashi had given him a week of detention for 'disrupting the peace by breathing too loudly'.)

* * *

Science, the lesson after Math, was held in the labs, so Sakura followed Ino and Hinata to the science labs. The lab they entered was dimly lit and had jars full of dead animals submerged in strange, weird smelling liquid. There was even a rabbit that had been cut open lengthwise to display its internal organs. The label on its jar read: _Rupert the Rabbit. _

"You mussst be the new sssstudent," An ominous voice echoed behind her. Sakura whipped around to see a pale white figure with long hair emerge from some obscure, shadowed corner of the room. Both Outer and Inner Sakura had only one thought running through their mind when he smiled a creepily wide and white smile, saying, "Welcome to Sssscience. I am Orochimaru."

'_**PEDOPHILE…!'**_

* * *

It turned out that Orochimaru didn't usually speak like he was a cheap rip-off of Voldemort, but had only overemphasized his 's'es because he wanted to freak Sakura out (which he did, but Sakura was never going to admit that, not even to Inner, who was technically herself). After a disturbing lesson, where Orochimaru expounded on the merits of snake venom, and somehow digressed to talking about how fortunate they were to be 'young, healthy, and filled with _such_ potential', eyeing Sasuke meaningfully and really creepily as he said that, the class was walking to the cafeteria for lunch. Sakura still remembered the look on Sasuke's face that practically screamed 'ew-OMG-get-away-from-me' as he edged his seat further away from Orochimaru, before his face became stoic once again – it had given Inner stitches laughing.

"Is he always so..." Sakura struggled to find the right word.

"Weird? Creepy? Paedophiliac?" Naruto supplied helpfully.

"… Unique?" She completed.

"You haven't seen the worst of it." Ino said darkly. How _dare_ that- that- _asshole_ eye _her_ Sasuke up like that?

'_**Hoo boy…'**_ Inner said. '_**It's gonna be an interesting year.' **_

* * *

When she walked into the cafeteria, ready to fight the lunchtime rush and wrangle some food from the lunch ladies, who were looking decidedly frazzled because there was just _so many people_, she wasn't expecting to be stared at like she was the newest specimen in a mad scientist's laboratory. However, she didn't let it phase her – she'd been on the receiving end of much worse at Oto – and met the eyes of those staring at her squarely, causing most of them to look away.

**_'Yeah, you better look away, bitches!_**' Inner Sakura shouted gleefully (and slightly maniacally).

As Sakura's gaze swept the length of the room, they zoomed in pretty quickly on a pair of eyes that were boring right into hers in an intense gaze.

Familiar, _ice green_ eyes.

"Kimimaro…" Sakura breathed, surprised.

Well, this was one person she'd never expected to meet again.

* * *

AN2: There we go! How was it? I hope it was good!

Please REVIEW!

I tried to make it as funny as possible. Did it work? I know it doesn't compare to the whole Gardening Club thing, and there's nothing really of much value in here, but still... it's necessary for the plot and I didn't want to skip the lessons altogether, so I just skimmed over them.

Amanda :)


	10. In which violence is satisfying

AN: Hello my sweethearts! Here it is! The big one-oh! I've finally reached a double digit chapter! *throws confetti*

Thanks to everyone who reviewed/added this story/added me to their lists, etc etc. Also, special thanks and glomps to everyone who wished me luck for my exams! I've only got the results for my physics exam. Which I failed. Miserably.

Take pity on me and review!

Shout out to **Jean Histogen Qi**, who's my classmate and also my 200th reviewer (not really coincidentally.) your 200th review made me laugh :) And even though I told you not to read my fanfic, you're obviously not gonna listen... Oh well. Hug. :)

Enough with the rambling, ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. *pouts*

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Ten

In which violence, while not being the answer, is incredibly satisfying

* * *

Kimimaro glanced around the cafeteria, supressing a sigh of boredom. He loved Konoha High, really, he did, and he didn't regret transferring from Oto in the least. However, it was just so _peaceful_ here; Sure, they had the Akatsuki 'Gardening Club' – he inwardly snorted –, but they tended to leave people be (until they became annoying and needed reminders on why exactly they were feared), totally unlike the 'ruling power' at his old school. Where were the flying tables, the spontaneous and violent outbursts among the students? Where was the air of paranoia, the feeling of anticipation that came from knowing a fight could break out at any time?

He sighed. It was in times like these, when Kimimaro felt truly bored, that he felt a twinge of longing for a return to those times, though he didn't miss the company in Oto at _all_. Well, except for one… he mentally shook his head, banishing that thought. Regardless, those Neanderthals he had regarded as acquaintances of sorts, the infamous student council, had been one of the reasons he was so eager to transfer out in the first place. One of the other major reasons was sitting right next to him.

As he flicked a strand of snow white hair out of his face, he regarded said person – one of his few _true_ friends. Juugo was one of a handful of people that Kimimaro could honestly say had the potential to appear physically intimidating to him, though the gentle giant chose to be anything but. Well… Most of the time, at least. Kimimaro suppressed the shit-eating grin that threatened to surface every time he thought of Juugo's little 'temper tantrums'; they never failed to bring forth the memory of Dosu and Zaku almost soiling their pants in fear as they experienced first-hand the reason why provoking the kind animal lover was discouraged.

Despite his fearsome temper, however, Juugo was a pacifist at heart, as was Kimimaro. (Well, they wouldn't say no to a good fight once in a while, but both of them disapproved of mindless violence and suffering, such as the actions of Oto's student council.) These shared traits had formed the basis of their long friendship. In fact, his friendship with Juugo was one of only two friendships which he felt would last a lifetime. Though the other… his heart tightened painfully as a flash of pink hair crossed his mind. He'd thought that their friendship was something to be cherished, but after his transfer… they'd lost contact. It had already been more than a year and he hadn't heard one peep from _Her_.

* * *

It had been one of his and Juugo's last few days as middle schoolers, and Juugo had come to him one evening, looking very thoughtful. He'd met a boy, he said, a second year student at Konoha Middle School at that time, Uchiha Sasuke. Juugo had been brooding about the prospect of facing another three years of violence and biased treatment in Oto High, and Sasuke had basically told him to stop being a coward and to take action instead of whining about how unfair his life was. His words to Juugo had inspired him, and Juugo wanted to go to Konoha High School instead of Oto High, to get away from the oppressive student council that was said to rule the high school with an iron first, not to mention the genuinely vicious, cutthroat environment common in Oto schools as a whole. Even though it was unusual for people to transfer from the Oto schools, which ran all the way from kindergarten to high school, to any others, Kimimaro had agreed without hesitation. The only problem he saw was breaking the news to a certain pink-haired second year. Her parents wouldn't allow her to disrupt her studies, not to mention give cause for gossip, by transferring schools halfway through her education, and Sakura, who relied on Kimimaro's presence to keep sane through the insanity of Oto, would be immensely hurt. It would be worse in high school; the student council's influence and bullying tendencies were usually focused on those in high school, not middle school.

In the end, Kimimaro had fretted so much that before he knew it, he'd been admitted to Konoha High, and he hadn't informed Sakura. Nevertheless, the way Kimimaro saw it, the ball was in her court. Throughout the course of their friendship, _Sakura_ had been the one to make the first step. She had approached him first, when he had been alone and friendless, as no one knew what to make of the weirdly pale kid who was always absent due to sickness, before he'd met Juugo, introduced herself, and boldly asked if he wanted to be her friend. She had also been the one who had sought him out subsequently. If she wanted to continue their friendship, she would _definitely_ contact him. After all, it wasn't like she lacked the resources needed to track him down, even if he transferred schools. He hadn't moved from his house, anyway, and Sakura had been there loads of times.

She hadn't contacted him though, so he supposed that he had been the only one who cherished their friendship. No matter how many times he thought about it, the matter never failed to bring about a depression so oppressive he thought he'd crumble under its weight. A flash of pink crossed his mind once more. It also crossed his vision. His head snapped in its direction, half convinced he was hallucinating. What would _she_ be doing here?

As Kimimaro's eyes locked with familiar emerald green, an English saying that Sakura had been particularly fond of ran across his mind.

'_Speak of the devil, and she shall appear.'_

It was particularly appropriate when used in reference to her, Kimimaro mused absently even as he held her gaze. She had always let her rather demonic side leak through when she fought, which had been very often back when they hung out together. The way her angelic face would twist into something cruel, sadistic and mocking as she decimated the forces opposing her had frightened and enraptured him in equal parts.

However, Kimimaro inwardly frowned as Sakura made her way over to him. She'd changed. She no longer walked with the subtle paranoia and readiness to fight common in most Oto kids who weren't victims of bullying. No, now she walked with grace, a delicate, ladylike walk rather than that of a battle-ready warrior. In the past, even when she had tried to hide it, in public and in front of her parents, Kimimaro could still pick up traces of it. Now, there was nothing. It was as if she had let go of the fighter in her, though that was _impossible_. The Sakura _he_ knew would never do that, fighting was too much of a part of her for her to let go of it.

Then again, a lot could change in one year.

* * *

Sakura felt kind of blindsided. She totally hadn't expected to see him again, let alone at her new school. In hindsight, it was kind of obvious, and both Inner and her felt kind of foolish for forgetting that itty bitty detail. They'd heard about him and Juugo choosing to go to Konoha High – who hadn't? – and Lord knew she had been depressed about it for a better part of last year, due to the thought that she had been abandoned by her closest, and only, friends. She didn't like to think about that time, so she shoved her thoughts on that subject into the back of her mind forcefully, almost bowling over Inner, who couldn't get out of the way fast enough, and focused on the matter at hand.

Like the fact that Kimimaro had not looked away from her, and was staring at her expressionlessly, with not even a hint of remorse for abandoning her to the dogs and not even having the courtesy to inform her about it. She felt righteous anger bubble up within her, aided by Inner's rant on how she'd make him pay – nobody made _them_ cry and got away with it!

However, Sakura tightly reigned in her fury as she strode over to Kimimaro, her anger making everything seem in slow motion as she went up to him.

And slapped him with all her strength.

Watching in satisfaction as the white-haired boy crashed to the floor, sliding to a stop with slightly widened eyes, Sakura turned on her heel and marched off, muttering to Ino, as she passed, "I'm not hungry. See you in class…"

It wouldn't do to pitch a hissy fit and destroy the cafeteria - Tsunade would definitely be more than a little upset with her. Stalking off, Sakura went exploring, hoping a walk would take the edge off her anger.

* * *

Five minutes later, she found herself standing outside a pretty white wooden fence, beyond which, she could catch glimpses of a beautiful, well-kept garden. The beautiful-hidden-sanctuary feel was ruined by the sign mounted on the fence, where blood red letters spelled out, 'SCHOOL GARDEN. AKATSUKI'S PROPERTY. ENTER, AND DIE.'

'_**Wow. How… nice.'**_ Inner remarked dryly.

'_The garden looks so peaceful though. I really want to enter! It'll probably be a good place to just wander around and think about everything that's happened today,' _Sakura ran a hand through her hair, sighing slightly. Today was definitely one of the more bizarre days of her life – not to mention one of the most emotionally draining. Seeing Kimimaro had been the last straw, and now, Sakura had a feeling that she was going to break down and burst into tears if she didn't calm down soon.

'_**Look, Outer, I understand where you're coming from and all, but suicide isn't the way to go, girl. If you have a death wish, at **_**least**_** go out with style, in a less painful and messy way, okay?' **_

'_But Pein said we were _'free to visit his club'_ anytime, didn't he? The school garden is technically their club headquarters, so I actually do have permission to go in,'_ Sakura reminded Inner smugly.

'_**Fine then, ignore the voice in your head that's trying to save your life! If you get ripped to pieces by overly rabid plants, or some other ridiculous and painful way, don't come crying to me!'**_ Inner sniffed, totally ignoring the irony of her first sentence.

* * *

Sakura shrugged, then vaulted over the fence, seeing as the gate was heavily padlocked with rusty chains that had well-worn, weather beaten price tags still stuck on them, from which she could vaguely read faded script saying, 'Bargain Buy!'

She walked around the garden, feeling all the tension and worry from the first half of the day melt away, though the thought that she still had half a day to go was a dark cloud looming on the horizon that she was adamantly ignoring. She'd been right, this place was the perfect escape from reality, and was _exactly_ what she needed. Inhaling the fresh air, Sakura admired the pretty flowers. It was quite amazing that the club had managed to cultivate so many exotic and beautiful species of plants. After seeing Pein, she'd half expected carnivorous plants to leap out of the soil and attack her or something.

Sakura was so absorbed in her thoughts, as well as in admiring the flora surrounding her, that she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking. Thus, what happened next wasn't much of a surprise.

She tripped over a plant.

And landed flat on her face.

Inner was in hysterics as Sakura, grumbling slightly, sat up, rubbing her face. She shot a glare behind her at the offending object, which turned out to be a huge Venus Fly Trap. And when she said _huge_, she meant it. It was so tall, it was past her waist!

Wait a minute.

Was that green hair she saw?

Sakura shot up so fast, she got whiplash. As she cautiously approached the huge plant, she realised that she was right - it was a head of green hair.

'_OH MY LORD, SOMEONE GOT EATEN!'_ Sakura mentally screamed, too shocked to actually open her mouth and shout it.

'_**AUGHHHH!'**_ Inner's wordless screaming and freaking out definitely wasn't helping.

Sakura flailed her arms uselessly for a few seconds before coming to her wits and uprooting the plant, hoping to force open its jaws and pull the poor guy out or something. She then saw that the plant was actually attached to a body wearing the Akatsuki cloak, which belonged to the green-haired head she saw. She also noticed, belatedly, that the face on said green-haired head was dual-coloured, half of his face being black, and the other, white. His eyes were closed. Faced with a limp body in a cloak, with weirdly coloured hair (not that she could talk) and even weirder coloured skin, half of which was covered in a giant plant, Sakura came to the only logical conclusion.

"Oh, it was only a mannequin! I _knew_ that they had to have _something_ weird in here!" Sakura exclaimed out loud, placing her hands on her hips uncharacteristically and letting loose slightly hysterical laughter.

Without warning, the 'mannequin's luminous yellow eyes snapped open.

This time, Sakura let loose an ear-piercing shriek.

* * *

Zetsu had been having a nice nap with his babies in a sunny spot. Buried in the warm soil, he mentally sighed, content. Surrounded by his plants, his cute little daffodils (his latest project) blooming nicely, all was right with the world.

Until he was abruptly, and quite literally, yanked back into reality. Unappreciative of being manhandled, Zetsu took a while to come out of his content haze. Someone was _definitely_ going to get eaten for this.

Hearing an unfamiliar female voice, followed by hysterical laughter, the words 'intruder' registered in his mind, though it was rather delayed, much to White Zetsu's chagrin and Black Zetsu's ire. This always happened whenever he buried himself in the soil – it was like plant hibernation, only less cold. Trying to make up for his slow reaction, Zetsu opened his eyes swiftly, eyes immediately landing on the girl in front of him.

Pink hair and green eyes. The girl in front of him looked as fragile and delicate as a flower, with the colouring to match. The only downside either Zetsu could think of was that she was the source of the infernal noise – she was screaming. Oh, she just stopped. That was better. Black Zetsu, already rather enamoured with this new specimen, smiled a rather creepy grin, imagining all the _fun_ he could have with his new flower, as Zetsu stood up slowly, soil falling away from his cloak.

Sakura had stopped screaming, but it definitely didn't mean she was done freaking out. Especially when the plant/man/thing in front of her smiled a pedosmile that could put Orochimaru to shame and stood up in a zombie-esque fashion, the mini-shower of soil also adding to the _I-just-rose-from-the-grave_ vibe, while his unnervingly yellow eyes stayed fixed on her.

When the plant/man/thing took one step towards her, swaying slightly and dislodging yet more soil from his shoulders, Sakura had had enough.

She fainted.

'_**How embarrassing,'**_ Inner grumbled, before she too succumbed to blessed darkness.

* * *

AN2: So! How was it? Tell me your thoughts on the chapter! Or on anything in particular :)

I love you guys!

lessthanthree,

Amanda


	11. Into the Lair of the Akatsuki

AN: Hello, my lovelies! Didja miss me?

And, I know I'm super late, I have no excuse, except that the Akatsuki are freaking hard to write. Yes, you heard me, the much anticipated **Akatsuki** appear in this chapter! Can I hear some noise for that?!

*cricket cricket*

...Fine. Sheesh. Anyway, just to let you all know, I have a new story up, called Glue, and it's a _totally_ different approach from VINTA. Regardless, if you enjoy Team Seven x Sakura, and don't mind copious amounts of angst, please do look it up!

Also, thanks for all your reviews! In addition, a shoutout to kukumalu01, because GOM, girl, you're the best, I love you!

Enough rambling, ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

In disclaimer eleven,

for a glimpse of heaven,

I might claim I owned Naruto,

but we both know,

...that would just be me showing my obsession.

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(translation from Japanese to English)

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Eleven

Into the Lair of the Akatsuki

* * *

Zetsu stared at the comatose form of the human-flower blankly. Maybe she wasn't getting enough sun? No, that couldn't be right, she had fainted right in the middle of the clearing, and Zetsu had made sure that this area got enough sun so his precious daffodils could flourish… Black Zetsu snapped at White Zetsu for digressing, since that wasn't important. What _was_ important was that this girl was trespassing, and they _both_ knew what happened to trespassers.

They get brought before The Boss.

* * *

Sakura stirred slightly, and groaned as memories of what had happened assaulted her.

'_Did I _really_ just… faint? Please, tell me I didn't…_' Sakura whined mentally. How could she face anyone after this?! She'd just swooned like one of those pansies she was always laughing at!

'_**Yep, you did! You dropped like some innocent maiden who watched the opening scene of Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie!**_' Inner exclaimed gleefully, taking far too much pleasure in Sakura's humiliation.

'_If I recall correctly, Inner, so did you, you… damsel who just got rescued by prince charming!'_ Sakura tried to come up with an adequate insult, and failed spectacularly.

'_**Pfft**_,' Inner swatted Sakura's rather pathetic rebuttal away as if it were a fly.

As they both concentrated on the matter at hand, they realised they were suspended in mid-air, as Zetsu was carrying Sakura under his arm like a sack of potatoes – well, not _really_, Zetsu would definitely treat a sack of potatoes much better, they were some plant's season's worth of work, after all!

Anyway, they were in what looked like a study, or an office, and were facing a desk. Behind this desk was a chair, swivelled such that it faced the window behind the desk, its back conveniently facing them, presumably hiding the person seated on it from view.

"Who is this?" An ominous, and slightly familiar voice sounded from the person seated on the chair.

"I found her trespassing in the garden," White Zetsu droned.

"Oh? That's not good. There are consequences for trespassing on our land, little girl," The voice sounded again, as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled in the background (which was truly a feat, because Sakura _swore_ it had been bright and sunny a few seconds ago). The chair turned around slowly, creaking forebodingly, and long black hair slowly fluttered in a non-existent breeze as the face of the mystery person was revealed, his fingertips pressed together in front of him like the evil mastermind he was, above which red eyes glowed like those of a demon-

"Sakura-chan?!" Madara gasped in surprise and delight, his previous fear-inducing pretense shattering into itty bitty pieces as he caught slight of the pinkette, still tucked under Zetsu's arm, arms and legs swinging slightly.

"Madara-sensei…" Sakura acknowledged. She vaguely remembered Shikamaru saying that he was the teacher-in-charge of the Akatsuki. Huh.

"Zetsu! What are you doing?! Put Sakura-chan down _right this instant_, you… you barbarian!" Madara demanded, jumping over the desk indignantly, ready to defend the honour of his One True Love.

Zetsu stared at him blankly for a while, before releasing Sakura gently, placing her back down onto the ground on her feet. However, he was frowning.

"That's not very nice, Madara-sama. I may be a cannibal, but I am definitely _not_ a barbarian. There's a difference, you know…" White Zetsu's mellow voice sounded, traces of hurt evident in his tone. However, Sakura did a double take when Zetsu's mouth opened again, clearly forming words, but a gravelly, somewhat sinister and pissed off sounding voice sounded, "**Anyway, we brought her here on your fucking orders, dipshit, so if anything, her manhandling is your fucking fault.**"

'_No way…_' Sakura thought, amazed.

'…_**Lip sync/dub?!**_' Inner completed her sentence.

However, after a while of observing the two(three?)-way conversation between Madara and Zetsu, in which Zetsu alternated between swearing up a storm and being practically on the verge of tears, while Madara tried to prevent what seemed to be the imminent tantrum, Sakura realised that Zetsu wasn't actually lip-syncing one of his voices. He really, truly, had two voices and what seemed to be two personalities. This _should_ have endeared him to Sakura, since there was that whole saying about birds of a feather, however, the image of zombie-Zetsu was still stuck firmly in her mind, which meant that, unfortunately for him, Zetsu remained under the 'run-away-screaming' category in Sakura's mental catalogue, right beside Orochimaru and that creepy old dude at the hospital who kept hitting on Sakura whenever she went there for medical training with Tsunade.

Seriously, the nerve of old people… she hoped peanuts got stuck in his dentures.

'_**Though,'**_ Inner pointed out, _**'Plantman's actually not **_**that**_** scary, if you discount our first meeting. Give the guy some credit, at least his face is pretty cute!'**_

'_Alright, fine, so maybe it's a _little_ bit cruel to lump him with the old man. He gets promoted to the 'try-not-to-be-with-alone' category. Happy?' _Sakura mentally pouted petulantly.

'…_**I'd be happier if you pounced on Madara… or Zetsu… or **_**both**_**!'**_ Inner leered at said people, who were still engrossed in their conversation and so seemed to be ignoring Sakura. _**'Or at least give me control of our body so I can do the pouncing!'**_

'_No.'_ Sakura replied flatly.

'_**Aww… why?'**_ Inner whined.

'_Just… No.'_

With impeccable timing, Madara realised that he had been ignoring his Angel, his Light, his Reason for Living (since he met her three hours ago) just as the conversation between Sakura and Inner Sakura ended. Gasping dramatically, he flashed to her side, hugging her and spewing apologies even as she squirmed uncomfortably. A thought abruptly occurred to him, and he couldn't resist asking, "Sakura-chan... not that I'm not happy you're here, but _why_ exactly are you here?"

Sakura finally managed to wrestle herself away from Madara's arms so she could take a breath, replying, "Ah, I just wanted to walk around and clear my head a little, it's been quite hectic today and so many things have happened. Also," She added somewhat abashedly, "Pein-san gave me permission to visit the club grounds, and since it was so beautiful, I thought it would help me do so. Which it did, I suppose, until I tripped over Zetsu-san. Sorry about that, by the way…" She tacked on, glancing at Zetsu.

'_**So long-winded and diplomatic,'**_ Inner groused. _**'We're not cut out for this!'**_ She continued to grumble about how Sakura was always so polite, though the both of them could not care less about such things. Sakura, being very used to occurrences such as these, ignored Inner easily. She guessed that rants of this nature was only natural, since Inner was an entity formed from the suppression of what she really felt and thought, though she was _sure_ that Inner's personality had deviated somewhat along the way, because she was sure as hell not as perverted as Inner.

Inner sputtered indignantly.

As this occurred, Madara came to the decision that since Sakura was so obviously down, she could not be allowed to be alone, though he was unable to join her, due to the huge pile of work that needed to be done. He scowled fiercely at the stack of papers on his desk. Stupid Senju woman, she was always making his life miserable by making sure he marked his students' assignments, and did his paperwork, despite her renowned aversion to her own paperwork. If only he hadn't lost that challenge to her, _he'd_ have been the principal instead! He allowed himself a brief moment of self-pity, before returning to the matter at hand, which concerned who would accompany Sakura for the rest of the lunch break. Making a snap decision and dearly hoping he wouldn't regret it, he turned to Zetsu, who immediately straightened as he sensed the change from Madara-the-idiot-teacher to Madara-the-unofficial-leader-of-the-Yakuza.

"Zetsu, take Sakura to meet the others."

Zetsu raised an eyebrow, but nodded his head in what could be seen as a slight bow as he replied, "Hai."

* * *

Sakura found herself staring incredulously at the other members of the Akatsuki. Whatever she had been expecting, it definitely hadn't been this.

Six other members of the Akatsuki were present on the rooftop of the classroom building, apparently a favourite haunt of the Akatsuki, (according to Zetsu, there were supposed to be two more members, but they were engrossed in an… art competition, or something? She couldn't really make out the rest of what he grumbled under his breath…). Of these six, plus Zetsu, two things were glaringly obvious.

One, they all wore the black-and-red Akatsuki cloak, albeit in varying ways, and two…

They were all devastatingly, though sometimes unconventionally, beautiful.

Zetsu, as earlier established, had rather pleasing features once one looked past the abnormal colouring and the plant thing attached to him. As he proceeded to introduce them to her, she silently evaluated them.

Pein, also as earlier established, was intimidatingly handsome, and he nodded to Sakura when he was introduced, saying, "We've already met." This caused Zetsu to blink in mild surprise before moving on to introduce Konan.

Konan was, in a nutshell, a cool beauty. From her facial expression, to the origami flower elegantly tucked into her shoulder-length blue hair, to the way she stood, she possessed an aura that said, rather simply, 'Mess with me and die'. She was, like Pein, able to pull off piercings with seemingly little effort, though she only had one stud just below her lower lip, against Pein's twenty-six, her elegant features striking and unforgettable. Her proximity to Pein implied that the two were close, and there seemed to be an air of familiarity between the two of them, though they weren't even talking or looking at each other.

'_**Aw man, Pein's already taken,'**_ Inner pouted, upset. Sakura refused to acknowledge the pang of disappointment that she felt, as well.

The next person Zetsu introduced was Kakuzu. He flicked bloodshot, yet beautifully shaped moss green eyes in her direction, his striking profile highlighted from his position of sitting sideways on the very edge of the roof, the swaths of material around his neck seeming to be a (now discarded) hood and mask, as he brushed shoulder length back dark hair from his face, bringing attention to the stitch tattoos present on his face and most of his body that she could see, his cloak a puddle of cloth at his feet.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?!"

Before Zetsu could introduce the next member, he spoke. Loudly. And rudely. While getting in Sakura's face.

As Madara had earlier discovered, getting into Sakura's personal bubble was not wise, mostly because she tended to react violently to such things. Disconcerted with the person's abrupt and loud appearance, Sakura immediately shifted her weight and landed a solid punch to the guy's abdomen (because damn, she was _short_, and she couldn't reach his face), even as Inner practically frothed at the mouth from being called a 'bitch'.

Disturbingly, said recipient of the punch did not cringe, even as he stumbled back from its impact. No, instead of grimacing or even saying 'Ow' like a _normal_ person, he _moaned_. In _pleasure_.

'…_**The fuck? Why the hell are the people in Akatsuki so fucking fucked up?!' **_Inner yelled, flustered despite herself, as Sakura backed away and blushed slightly, wiping her fist against her uniform.

'…_I feel like I've contracted cooties…'_ Sakura confided quietly, feeling traumatised. Of all the reactions she's seen or been on the receiving end of, this was the one that caught her the most off guard.

It didn't help that he was good-looking too; slicked back silver hair had been mussed slightly, falling into a face that possessed conventionally handsome features, that currently sported one of the most charming grins she'd ever seen.

"Damn, bitch, do that again!"

…And the illusion shattered, as the silver-haired masochist's foul language ruined whatever good impression Sakura had gained.

"This is Hidan," Zetsu's monotonous voice cut through, his facial expression barely changing despite Sakura's rather surprising display earlier. Likewise, Pein and Konan had simply raised eyebrows in identical expressions of muted surprise, and Kakuzu had only rolled his eyes at Hidan's idiocy.

"**And moving the fuck on**, this is Itachi and Kisame. Introductions ended." Zetsu announced, gesturing vaguely to the remaining two members, who had been waiting patiently for their turn in the introductions.

As Sakura laid eyes on Itachi, she immediately knew that he was related to Sasuke and Madara, but thankfully managed to restrain Inner's reaction of pointing fingers and loud exclamations of his relation to tiny, high-pitched and annoying canines, in favour waving in their direction slightly awkwardly.

Itachi, who looked handsome enough to be a supermodel, despite the stress lines on his face, inclined his head to her, while Kisame, who was big and blue, laughed a booming laugh that displayed his sharp teeth.

"Hey, pinky," He grinned.

Sakura examined his blue skin, gills and strong, even features for a few seconds (while Inner drooled over his well-defined muscles), before grinning at him in return.

"Hi!" She chirped. She paused, before, "Erm… do you think I could as you a question?"

Kisame, suspecting it was going to be something along the lines of 'Why are you blue?' or 'Is your mommy a shark?', sighed somewhat disappointedly but signalled for her to go ahead.

"Have you ever considered that with your height, hanging out on the school rooftop is just like signing up to be struck by lightning?"

Kisame blinked in surprise, before another booming laugh escaped him, further endearing him to Sakura, because to be honest, the rest of the Akatsuki members she'd met were rather… emotionless, with the exception of Madara, and it was starting to grate on her nerves. "Well, not really, but even I know not to be in the open when there's a storm," he chuckled.

"Okay, that's good, because, you know, I noticed that the rooftop is actually off limits, according to the student handbook, and one of the reasons is because students on the rooftop have a tendency to be struck by lightning…" Sakura rambled slightly, faltering under the combined gaze of the other six people present.

"Regardless, Zetsu, why did you bring her here?" Pein asked, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. Zetsu was never what people would consider social, preferring the company of plants to people.

"Madara's orders. He wanted us to keep her company for the rest of lunch break, after I found her in the gardens."

After Zetsu's brief explanation, Konan walked up to Sakura, who had to crane her neck slightly to look up at the older girl.

"So this is the girl who you were talking about, Nagato," Konan said, tilting her head to the side as she observed Sakura.

'_**Who's Nagato?'**_ Inner Sakura and Sakura were both puzzled, until Pein responded with an 'Aa.'

Konan hummed thoughtfully as she continued to look at Sakura. "Hey," she said, "Do you like origami?"

"Um, I like it, but I only know how to fold cranes…" Sakura said hesitantly. She never really had the patience to learn all the different origami forms, not to mention the origami paper always ended up being crushed into an unrecognizable ball of pulp since she kept underestimating her own strength.

"Well, that'll do, I guess." Konan announced, before her aloof demeanor melted and she smiled beautifully. "Pein, I approve of her. You two will make a cute couple."

"…Eh?" Sakura asked, confused, not only for the suddenness, but also because she couldn't see how she, a pink-haired midget, who looked the epitome of a good girl, would make a good couple with the gangster-looking, intimidating, dark Pein. "…I thought you two were together!" She blurted, pointing between the two of them.

"No, we're childhood friends. After seeing him killing fluffy animals, parade around in his underwear, picking his nose, and a whole plethora of other things, it's really hard to be attracted to him," She said, "Besides, look at that face... Are you kidding me?"

Sakura turned to look at Pein, taking in his rather above average, piercing laden looks, not seeing the problem. He raised an eyebrow in response.

"I'm not going to date some loser who's more attracted to a magnet than he is to me."

Sakura took a minute to process this before doubling over in laughter.

* * *

AN2: Aaaand that's that! Leave a review!

Please excuse any mistakes, I was too excited to post this, and I have work tomorrow.

XOXO

Ice


	12. Of herbicide and bangs

AN: Hello lovelies!

I'm trying to get into the rhythm of updating once a month, at least, so please bear with me!

Also, I'm thinking of rewriting chapters one and two, since reading them makes me cringe in shame now. What's your opinion on that?

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You guys make my day, especially when I get new reviews!

Aaaand, well, that's about all I can think of. So yup, on with the story!

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Twelve

Of herbicide, bangs, and uncontrollable laughing fits

* * *

"_Besides, look at that face… Are you kidding me?"_

_Sakura turned to look at Pein, taking in his rather above average, piercing laden looks, not seeing the problem. He raised an eyebrow in response._

"_I'm not going to date some loser who's more attracted to a magnet than he is to me."_

_Sakura took a minute to process this before doubling over in laughter._

* * *

Sakura's stomach ached from laughing, and she tried desperately to calm herself - she was starting to need oxygen again. Her laughter died down gradually and she straightened from her position of leaning against a nearby wall – oh wait, she had been leaning against Kisame. '_Mm, muscles…'_ Her thoughts were derailed once again as she caught sight of Pein's slightly disgruntled expression.

She could just imagine him having that _exact_ same expression as his face was glued to a massive, horseshoe shaped magnet. Said mental image made her collapse once again into peals of laughter, and Kisame was forced to hold her up as her knees weakened from laughing too hard.

* * *

Kisame wrapped his arms around Sakura, holding the pinkette up, trying to ignore the blush on his face as he held an armful of shaking, hysterical and attractive girl close to him. Giving himself a violent mental shake – he was _Hoshigaki Kisame_, he shouldn't be _blushing_ – he decided to take advantage of the situation and enjoy the physical proximity while he could, drawing an oblivious Sakura slightly closer to him as he chuckled.

Feeling the vibration of his laugh made Sakura glance up at his face, and the sight of his fading blush – _**'Red plus blue equals purple!'**_ Inner crowed – was enough to send her into hysterics, again, which meant that she had a rather painful stitch in her side, not to mention the breathless wheezing and tears of laughter running down her face.

Pein's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he observed Kisame holding Sakura _way_ too closely to be appropriate, which caused Konan, who had retreated back to his side, to smirk slightly and nudge him with her elbow, prompting him to do something. He stepped forward, considering possible plans to draw Sakura away, preferably something suitably violent and maiming to Kisame. He was just contemplating the success rate of using his Rinnegan on Kisame without Sakura being caught in the crossfire when the chiming of a bell interrupted his thoughts, signalling the end of lunch and warning the students that they had five minutes to get to class.

"Sakura, what is your next class?" Pein asked, as he firmly gripped Kisame's arm and yanked it away from Sakura, relishing in Kisame's slight wince (which was actually more from the look in Pein's eyes than from any pain he actually felt).

"…Aha…haha, ha… Wait a minute…" Sakura panted heavily, trying to calm herself, before rummaging in her backpack, still slightly out of breath. After a few seconds, she withdrew her slightly crumpled timetable. "Erm, Art, with Anko-sensei." Her brows furrowed. "Um, where's the art building?"

"I'll take you there." Pein's tone brooked no arguments.

However, Zetsu disregarded this and stepped forward, saying, "I should escort her to her class, since I brought her here. Besides, my next class is near the art block."

The ensuing stare-off supercharged the atmosphere, and everyone present could almost _see_ the testosterone that filled the air. Everyone except Sakura, that is, since she was busy straightening herself up from her mad laughing fit, oblivious to the clash of wills that was occurring quite literally over her head.

"Hm? Eh, we only have three minutes left! Zetsu, you said your next lesson was nearby, right? Could you show me the way, please?" Sakura asked sweetly.

"Of course." Zetsu smiled a rare smile and led the way, pausing only to shoot a smug glance over his shoulder at Pein.

Konan pouted slightly and rolled her eyes, murmuring to Pein, "You're such a _loser_."

Pein, who had already suffered a grievous blow to his ego, scowled.

The rest of the Akatsuki slowly moved to leave the rooftop, uncaring if they arrived late to their classes. Kakuzu lazily pulled up his hood and mask, snatching his cloak up off the floor and slipping it on with only a soft rustle. Hidan followed him out, loudly declaring, "I don't fucking understand what the fuck is so good about that bitch! I mean, sure, she's cute, but that doesn't explain why the hell they're fighting over her."

Itachi, who was trailing sedately after Kisame, stole a glance at aforementioned best friend, who was slightly despondent from being separated from Sakura. The Uchiha heir couldn't help but silently agree with Hidan (though he'd never admit it). He simply couldn't comprehend why some of his fellow Akatsuki members were so smitten with her.

He mentally shrugged. Either they'd see the error of their ways and realize she wasn't all that special, or he'd eventually see what they saw in her that was so unique. Only time would tell.

* * *

As Sakura walked down the corridors of the school next to Zetsu, she realized that she was breaking her earlier vow to herself to not be alone with said plant dude if she could help it.

'_Oh well, too late for that,'_ she shrugged.

'_**Why are you so flippant about this?! Do you not notice the way he's looking at you?!'**_ Inner screamed at her.

'_Relax Inner, you're obviously paranoid, he's not looking at us in any-'_ Sakura froze mid-sentence, as she glanced at Zetsu, only to realise he was looking at her rather blankly, his face void of expression. It was actually very, very creepy.

Sakura suddenly felt like a tiny, fluffy, adorable rabbit staring into the eyes of a big, bad wolf.

In the blink of an eye, Sakura found herself backed up against a wall, Zetsu towering over her, arms pinned on either side of her, thwarting her escape (and/or violent retaliation).

"Er… Um… What are you doing?" She asked nervously, as Zetsu continued his empty stare.

One of his hands slowly moved to brush through her pink hair, the silky strands sliding smoothly through his fingers.

"**You have oddly coloured hair**."

Sakura blinked at the unexpected statement, especially from Black Zetsu. "Um, yes, I do," _'Thank you, Captain Obvious,'_ she continued in her mind.

"_**I**_** have oddly coloured hair.**" Zetsu continued.

"Um, okay…" Sakura was officially baffled. What was he doing? This was creeping her out. It wasn't that she minded the close proximity – he was really quite attractive – but his mannerisms were discomfiting and the fact that Black Zetsu (who Sakura was convinced was creepier and less restrained than White Zetsu) was entirely in control at the moment wasn't doing much to help put her at ease. Quite the contrary, really.

"**You have the colouring of a plant, and well…**" Cue creepy smile, showcasing his sharp teeth, "**I **_**am**_** a plant**."

Sakura stared at Zetsu's face for a few seconds (specifically, keeping an eye on his teeth), and processed this. He was hitting on her. He had sharp teeth. He was a cannibal. He was close to her. He had sharp teeth.

'_**ARGHHH! THIS IS LIKE JURAISSIC PARK FOR PLANTS! SOMEONE BRING OUT THE HERBICIDE!**_' Inner screamed, obviously reaching the same conclusion at the same time as Sakura, and panicking.

'_I DON'T HAVE ANY!'_

'_**WHY NOT?!'**_

'_WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I MAKE A HABIT OUT OF CARRYING HERBICIDE AROUND WITH ME!'_

'_**WELL YOU SHOULD! AGHHH HE'S GONNA EAT US! I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!**__'_

'_SHUT UP INNER, IT'S HARD TO THINK WITH YOU SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND!'_

'_**IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE NOT SCREAMING! ANYWAY, I THINK THIS IS A PERFECTLY LEGIT REASON FOR PANICKING, WE ARE FUCKING UNARMED!'**_

'_MORON, WE DON'T HAVE HERBICIDE, BUT WE HAVE FISTS!'_

Sakura snapped out of her momentary freak out and slammed the heel of her hand into Zetsu's face. As he stumbled back in pain, she executed a perfect spinning kick that sent him flying across the corridor into the wall. The fury in her expression faded and her chest heaved from adrenaline.

"Whoa…" An awed voice sounded.

Sakura's head snapped in the direction the voice came from, only to find two boys standing to the side, the blonde staring at her in awe, while the redhead looked on in mild surprise. She examined the Akatsuki cloaks they wore, and concluded that they must be the two members who had been absent on the rooftop, though their names escaped her.

"That was so cool, un! I was gonna step in to save you, un, since you looked so scared being cornered by Zetsu and all, I thought he was gonna eat you, un. And then you were like snap! And wham! And bang! …un." The blonde babbled excitedly.

"…Bang?" Sakura asked, slightly blindsided due to surprise.

"Yup, un! You're a bang, un!" The blonde replied cheerfully.

"Art is a bang, un!" He continued happily.

He gasped, as if he had just been struck by a great revelation. "You're art, un!"

The redhead face palmed.

* * *

Sasori and Deidara, as they had introduced themselves, guided her to her classroom, and waited outside for her to enter the room. Deidara had a large grin on his face, as he said, "See you later, then, Sakura-chan! In fact, you might see us _way_ sooner than you think!" He winked.

Sasori rolled his eyes, exasperated with his friend's antics. "See you," He nodded to Sakura._ 'She would make a lovely puppet, so beautiful, like a doll,'_ he thought absently.

* * *

_Back in the corridor…_

Zetsu blinked dazedly, stars still swimming in his vision. White Zetsu groaned slightly as he sat up from his previous position, slumped on the floor, his head propped up uncomfortably by the wall. The tell-tale ticklish trickle on his upper lip alerted him to the fact that his nose was bleeding. Black Zetsu sneered at White Zetsu for being a wimp, only to be ignored.

As Zetsu gingerly rubbed his sternum, where Sakura's kick had landed, White Zetsu murmured, "See, I told you your idea wouldn't work, we're going with mine next time."

* * *

Sakura entered the class apprehensively, bracing herself for a scolding for being late for class. However, the teacher's desk, which was in her direct line of sight upon entering the art room, was empty. She exhaled in relief. The teacher must be late too.

Her attention was then drawn to the room itself. Sinks lined one wall of the class, caked with dried paint that students hadn't washed off properly, and cabinets lined the other three walls. A door was set right behind the teacher's desk, which Sakura assumed led to some storage room for art supplies or something. The base colour of the walls was white, though someone had thought to redecorate it with blood red paint, making it look like a massacre had occurred in the room, as the various splatters around the room were extremely realistic.

'_Either she watches a lot of horror movies, or the decorator is a psychotic mass murderer in disguise.'_

'_**True… I like it!'**_ Inner decided. _**'It reminds me of good times.'**_ She grinned, as memories of their previously regular street fights flashed across Sakura's mind.

"Hey, Sakura! Over here!" Ino's voice broke Sakura out of her thoughts, as she saw Ino, Hinata, and company sitting around a large square table in the middle of the room, which had various paint stains and pencil markings on it. Ino was madly gesturing to an empty chair in between her and Naruto.

"You feeling better now?" Ino grinned, as she rested her cheek on the palm of her hand, eyes glinting mischievously.

"Yeah…" Sakura said somewhat bashfully, resolving to keep the violence to a minimum, especially when in public.

"You should be, dattebayo! Seriously Sakura-chan, you must have worked out like a years' worth of frustration in that slap! That bastard was like bam! On the floor! And his eyes were so wide, I've never seen anyone's eyes get that wide…" Naruto chattered hyperactively as he used his hands to emphasize his point.

"Ara, Naruto-_chan_! So much noise while in the classroom…" A seductive voice sounded, before a pair of arms slid around him from behind. Naruto let out a rather girlish yell and fell out of the chair as he tried to scramble out of the way of said pair of arms. Sakura, along with many other people seated at the table, tensed. They hadn't noticed the arrival of the woman.

Said woman stood up from her slightly crouched position, and placed her hands on her hips, grinning ferally. She sported dark greyish-purple hair, put up in a spiky ponytail with wayward bangs, and had a long tan trenchcoat which was buttoned rather sloppily down the front, under which Sakura could see copious amounts of fishnet.

"Alright maggots, it's down to work! Let's see, we'll do some sketching to start with, then we'll examine the life and works of one of my _favourite_ artists, Vincent Van Gogh! Cut off his ear to woo a woman, now that's how to impress a lady…" Her wide grin never faltered as she rambled on, striding to the front of the class where her desk was located.

Sakura blinked. _This_ was Anko-sensei?

'_**Well, she does fit the look of a psychotic mass murderer… if you add some foaming at the mouth and random twitching,'**_ Inner felt the need to give her input.

Sakura mentally shrugged. Inner had a point.

"Oh, and I forgot! There are two people I want y'all to meet! They're second year students, but due to some idiotic tendencies on their part, they're helping out with this class for the rest of the year." Turning to the door leading to the art supply room, Anko called, "Enter, my sex slaves!" After finishing her sentence, she cackled.

"…This is all your fucking fault."

"What, Danna? It's not my fault that the art studio wasn't equipped to handle my art, un. Besides, you're the one that took apart the top floor to assemble your dolls, un."

"_For the last time, _they're puppets, idiot."

Deidara's face brightened as he caught sight of Sakura. Stepping clear of the doorway leading to the art supply room, he waved enthusiastically.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, un!"

Sasori gave a lazy wave.

"One hour," Ino muttered to Sakura out of the corner of her mouth, as Sakura waved back weakly, "I leave you alone for _one hour_, and you manage to befriend the most insane, homicidal, _vicious_ artists in the school!"

Sakura wisely decided not to mention where she'd been and who she'd met during lunch.

* * *

AN2:If anyone's wondering, Anko's coat is buttoned up because the board of directors forced her to do it. Something about being too distracting during class… oh, and not being appropriate for a school, of course.

I'm having waaay too much fun writing Konan, Anko and Zetsu! (Laughs evilly.)

Ah, Zetsu. One of my favourite characters. Don't really know how he became some creepy horror movie star, but hey, he's awesome, isn't he?

Review please!

XOXO

Ice


	13. Green Spandex

AN: Hello my loves!

It's been a while! Well... not exactly, I mean, I'm making good on my sort-of promise to update monthly, ain't I? I'm a good girl, aren't I? (That's why you should review!)

I churned out the rest of this chapter since I'm at home sick. So there might be some weirdness/errors/choppy sentences in this chapter, that's just because I'm slightly delusional right now.

Anyway, thanks as usual to all my darling reviewers and readers out there! Never expected this story to be such a hit, to be honest.

Oh, and I edited chapter one, so please take a look at it if you have the time. (And tell me what you think!)

Enough talk, on with the story.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did... well. Just be glad I don't own it. (sinister laugh)

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

(translation from Japanese to English)

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Thirteen

Green. Spandex. (Enough Said)

* * *

"_One hour," Ino muttered to Sakura out of the corner of her mouth, as Sakura waved back, "I leave you alone for _one hour_, and you manage to befriend the most insane, homicidal, _vicious_ artists in the school!"_

_Sakura wisely decided not to mention where she'd been and who she'd met during lunch._

* * *

Art passed by in a blur. Literally.

After ten minutes of speed sketching, Anko loaded a slide show presentation of Vincent Van Gogh she had prepared (though 'prepared' might be stretching it, since she mentioned something about threatening someone to do it for her), and had taken sadistic glee in making Deidara and Sasori, who were controlling the slides, flip through them at top speed, as she whizzed through the information and cross-referenced previous slides they had to scramble to revert back to. By the end of it, Sakura was sure that she wasn't the only one who saw images of sunflowers flashing past her eyelids when she closed her eyes.

Shikamaru, who had stayed awake through the lesson purely by force of will (apparently, the consequences of misbehaving in art were too horrible to bear), rubbed his eyes in an irritated fashion, grumbling about the art department, who were apparently known as the 'Torture and Interrogation Department', followed by something about how sadistic, '_creative'_ and downright psychopathic these artist types were.

They had perfected torture into an art. (Excuse the pun.)

* * *

Sakura stumbled tiredly after Hinata on the way to their next class, Physical Education (P.E.), tugging at her P.E. uniform, which considered of a white T-shirt with red details, and black shorts. Hinata paused sympathetically and patted Sakura lightly on the shoulder in comfort.

"S-save your strength," She murmured quietly, "P.E. tends to be _really_ tiring."

Sakura smiled at Hinata, before straightening.

'_**Yeah! We can do this! We rock at sports! This should be just-'**_ Inner stopped in the middle of her pep talk as she stared at the back of what could only be their P.E. teacher.

The back of their P.E. teacher wearing green spandex. The back of their P.E. teacher wearing green spandex and orange legwarmers. The back of their P.E. teacher wearing _extremely fitting_ green spandex and orange legwarmers.

'_**ARGH MY EYES! THEY FUCKING BURNNNN!'**_ Inner wailed, clutching at her eyes and rolling dramatically about on the floor of their mindscape.

Sakura forced down the bile in her throat and averted her eyes. The rest of her classmates looked slightly green, but resigned to the horrible view they were forced to endure.

'_**NOOOO! We must not endure this unholy sight! That's it, we're going back to Oto! I'd endure the sight of Dosu in a dress over this!'**_

Just then, the teacher sensed the approach of their class, and turned around with a mega-watt smile, of such blinding intensity it could rival Madara's any day. Normally, that would be the main fixation of Sakura's attention, however…

'_OH MY LORD, HUGE BLACK MONSTERS ARE TAKING OVER HIS FACE! Oh wait, those are just his eyebrows…'_ Sakura calmed down. She felt immensely grateful that her self-control had returned to her, allowing her to restrain her reactions so that the only physical indication of her thoughts were her reeling back slightly and her eyes widening.

'_**Those are some huge eyebrows… I mean, I know some people have bushy eyebrows, but this is just ridiculous…'**_

'_I know! He seems to have an overabundance of eyebrow hair.'_

Pause.

'_He should donate some to Gaara!'_ Sakura snuck a glance at said person's eyebrows, or rather, lack thereof.

* * *

Sakura rather merrily ran around the track, paying minimal attention to where she was going. The rest of her consciousness was more preoccupied with talking to Inner.

Most people like running because it was, according to them, mind-numbing and relaxing, and they could clear their mind or just not think when they ran. Sakura liked running for much the same reason – sort of – running freed up her mind to be able to talk to Inner; it was her form of meditation, you could say. If one usually talked to their psychotic alter egos when they meditated. Still, Sakura enjoyed these moments when she could truly interact 'face-to-face' with Inner, instead of just through thoughts. It calmed her, and running was the only activity that allowed her this luxury – she couldn't do so when she was still, she would be filled with so much restless energy she couldn't concentrate.

Inner and Sakura were rather seriously evaluating their new school, having gone through Inner's prerequisite swooning over all the rather dashing young men (read: hot guys) in the school. While Sakura marvelled at the sheer amount of friends she'd already made – and it was only the first day! – Inner was more appreciative of the fact that she didn't have to perpetually watch her back for potential attacks.

Maybe they'd enjoy going to this school after all.

The excitement and dizzy anticipation that suddenly took over Sakura at that thought (and her resulting radiant smile) were interrupted by Gai bellowing, "GATHER ROUND, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!"

Slightly disappointed that her run was cut short, Sakura made her way over to Gai, along with the rest of her classmates. As they gathered around, Gai began to speak, "As the more youthful of you should know, the most youthful event approaches! This is the ultimate test of your youthfulness, my cute students! Your endurance, physical prowess, and teamwork will be tested! Now, what is this event that I speak of?" He beamed expectantly at the gathered teenagers, obviously expecting them to be brimming with enthusiasm to answer his question. However, most of the expressions on their faces were utterly blank.

"If you answer this question, your youthfulness will definitely increase!" Gai tried to entice his students, his megawatt smile still in place.

'_**Psh, as if that would entice anybo-'**_ Inner scoffed, only to be proved wrong as a hand was raised enthusiastically, waving haphazardly about.

"Pick me! Pick me!" A hyperactive voice, which Sakura instantly recognized as Naruto's, sounded.

"Yes, Naruto-kun!" Gai gestured grandly in Naruto's general direction.

"The sports festival, dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed, the students next to him wincing slightly at the volume of his voice.

"Indeed, Naruto-kun!" Gai exclaimed, apparently so touched that Naruto had got the question right that he was crying manly tears of joy. Sakura subtly edged further away from him.

Suddenly, Gai's face was dry and he continued as if he had not just burst into spontaneous tears. "The most youthful sports festival approaches! And I will ensure that you are all prepared for it, or I will run a thousand laps around the track – on my hands!" His dramatic declaration was punctuated with a thumbs up and megawatt smile, his teeth glinting rather cheesily.

"Yosh, my youthful students, we shall commence training starting with the most youthful game of soccer!" Gai announced, pulling a soccer ball out of nowhere and directing them towards the field, which had goalposts on either end.

* * *

After splitting the class into teams, two of the teams began to play, while the others stood or sat at the edge of the field, watching and waiting for their turn. Sakura, whose team hadn't been chosen, was lounging beside Ino and Hinata, as they watched the others play, amidst Gai's exuberant encouragement and commentary from the other side of the field.

It had been barely five minutes into the game when Sasuke dashed across the field, expertly manoeuvring the ball and scoring a rather impressive goal.

This, of course, set off Ino and a few other girls, who squealed, swooned and otherwise fawned over Sasuke, who ignored them and tossed his hair out of his face (provoking another round of squeals; Sakura was beginning to suspect that his fangirls would find even the most mundane of tasks that Sasuke did squeal-worthy, though she _had_ to admit, that hair flip _was_ quite appealing…).

Naruto, who was on the opposing team, was predictably unhappy with this development. The ever-present rivalry between him and Sasuke flared to full force, and he managed to pull off a few tricks that had him heading for the opposing goal, ball in his possession. His grin widened, as he prepared to deliver the Most Awesomest Goal Ever, Which Sasuke Could Never Hope to Beat. However, his aiming was just slightly off, and the ball bounced off the goal post and sailed through the air at alarming speeds, only to hit Gai – right where the sun don't shine.

Gai doubled over in pain, face reddening from his effort not to let out any girly screams of pain. The boys in the class winced in sympathy, even as the girls either stared awkwardly, burst into laughter, or blushed (Hinata).

Sakura and Ino shared a look before succumbing to hysterical giggles. Gai's strangled exclamation of "This will not hinder… the power of youth!" in a decidedly higher voice than was normal only had them laughing harder, leaning on each other for support.

Kiba walked over to the now prone form of Gai, as he had collapsed to the floor, and nudged him gingerly with his toe. When no response was given, he raised his head and grinned, "Well, I guess that's the end of P.E... Awesome!"

The class stared at Gai for a while more, some of them contemplating getting help, then decided that their teacher could take care of himself, and dispersed. It was the last class of the day, after all, and they wouldn't want to destroy their chances of leaving early should any teacher that they notified want to take over the class.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she shifted the strap of her bag on her shoulder, leisurely making her way down the stairs, having gone back to her classroom to collect her belongings before leaving the school. She was extremely relieved that the day had come to an end – one could only take so much drama in one day, after all. She blinked lazily.

And promptly slipped and fell down the whole flight of stairs.

'_**Smooth, Outer, really smooth,'**_ Inner said.

'_Shut up,'_ Sakura grumbled, scrambling to her feet gracelessly, trying to gather what scraps of dignity she had left. Luckily, no one had been around to witness the slight tumble, her class having dashed off, happy with the day ending early, and with the rest of the school still stuck in class.

Or so she thought.

As she frowned down at the scrape on her elbow she'd just obtained, Madara popped out of nowhere, gasping in horror.

"Oh no, Sakura-chan, we must get you to the infirmary! Quickly!"

"Eh, sensei, it's just a scrape…"

"But, you said, 'I mean, sure, it's only a tiny cut… but… this floor is quite dirty, not to mention all the airborne germs and diseases and viruses flying around. They can easily pass through this opening into your body, infiltrating your bloodstream and reaching vital organs, then, due to the optimum warm temperature in all human bodies, fester and multiply and grow until they slowly take over your organs, shutting them down one by one and causing you unimaginable pain and suffering, so you die a slow and horrible death!'" So saying, Madara scooped the unsuspecting Sakura (who was blinking, stunned that Madara had just quoted her spiel from this morning word-for-word) into his arms with flattering ease, before declaring gallantly, "To the infirmary!" and dashing off.

It took Sakura a few seconds to regain her normal mental capacities, after which she started to struggle, complaining all the while.

"Sensei, put me down! I can walk!"

"No! Never!"

"My legs aren't even injured!"

Sakura tried to attack Madara to get him to put her down, only to be expertly countered every time. She was just resigning herself to being whisked off to the infirmary when a familiar voice sounded.

"**Is there any reason why you are kidnapping **_**my niece**_**, Uchiha?"**

Madara froze, as Tsunade fairly towered over him, killing intent filling the air around them.

"E-eh…" Madara squeaked. As much as he liked to deny it, Tsunade scared him. Once in a while. Occasionally. Sometimes. Well… a lot of the time. Especially when she's angry. Like, right now. "…Your niece?" He asked eventually.

"**Yes**." Tsunade's eyes burned into him. "And _why_ haven't you put her down yet?"

"Er… well. You see…" Madara faltered under her glare, before gently setting Sakura down on her feet. "I was just…"

Meanwhile, as Madara was cowering before Tsunade, Inner was complaining, _**'And here we thought the drama for the day was over! I mean, it was extremely nice being carried like that, but even **_**I'm**_** getting tired of this…'**_

Eventually, Madara slouched off, pouting ridiculously, mumbling about that 'stupid Senju woman interrupting his quality time with Sakura-chan', while Tsunade turned to Sakura with a fond smile.

An answering smile bloomed on Sakura's face, and she said, "Thanks, Tsunade-ba-chan!" She flashed a thumbs up, "Girl power!"

With a last hug and a wave, Sakura continued on her way home, leaving Tsunade in the corridor, wondering what she had just unleashed unto the school, by enrolling Sakura. Her niece had just managed to reduce Madara to an even bigger idiot than usual, not to mention she'd definitely noticed Kakashi's weirder than usual behaviour.

'_Then again,'_ Tsunade thought to herself, _'what else can be expected from my darling niece?'_ She grinned. The drama that was unfolding was sure to be entertaining – she couldn't wait.

* * *

AN2: And that's all for today! Thanks for reading!

I've also been working on other stories, if you wanna take a look, please go to my profile. They're really different from this, I think.

I wanted to write more Anko, oh well. Maybe I can add in Ibiki sometime too! (Ooh, the possibilities...) I'm so proud of the idea of making the art department the T&I department! (Shamelessly brags)

Please review!

XOXO

Ice


	14. Introducing the Sports Festival

AN: Hello everyone!

Sorry for not updating in April! Short chapter today as well. There's just been a lot going on in my life, which will be explained in the **(kind of) important author's note at the end of the chapter****.** Please read it!

As always, hugs to all my dear reviewers and people who added this story and/or me to their lists! Love you all!

Alright, I'm going to talk more in my second author's note, so for now, ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Fourteen

Introducing the Sports Festival

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei, if you don't leave now, you'll be late for school," Sakura knocked gently on the door of her next door neighbour's (and form teacher's) flat, already used to the routine they had created in the two weeks since she had moved to her new home and started school (even though it made her feel like the adult in their relationship). On cue, a muffled, "Ah, Sakura-chan, go ahead, I see a kitten that's needs rescuing a few streets away!" was heard through the door.

Sakura sighed, imagining her chronically-late teacher lounging on his couch with Icha Icha Paradise. Well, it wasn't like he didn't do this every day, anyway. Rolling her eyes, she set off.

'_**Man, I wonder why that guy's so into Icha Icha,'**_ Inner mused, _**'hey, Outer, why don't we…'**_

'_No.'_

'_**Aw, why not? I bet it's…'**_

'_I am _not_ going to read that disgusting thing.'_

'_**Well, you wouldn't have to, just buy it and I'll take control of your body while you sleep, you won't even know I read it!'**_

'_Except that you'll probably reference back to the series endlessly once you've read it, and I am NOT going to be seen buying it. Come to think of it, we can't even buy it, we're underage!'_

'_**Humph.'**_

'…_**Why don't you borrow it from Kaka-'**_

'_NO!'_

* * *

Sakura rested her cheek on her palm as she listened to Ino wax lyrical about some new conditioner, nodding when she paused for breath. In the two weeks since she'd met Ino, they had grown closer and Sakura still marveled at how comfortable she was around said blonde. She never felt the need to feign interest and be polite with her, speaking her mind as she pleased, and Ino simply liked to listen to the sound of her voice, and didn't mind if Sakura wasn't actually listening to her as she chattered away. If she was talking about anything important that Sakura should listen to, she flicked the pinkette on the forehead to get her to pay attention. For Sakura, who had never had a close girl friend in the past fifteen years of her life, it was weird – in a good way.

In fact, Sakura had had many similar weird-in-a-good-way experiences the past fortnight, such as not having to be on high alert to avoid being attacked in the corridors, and also the fact that her form teacher was perpetually late. Even now, the class was waiting for their perpetually tardy teacher to show up so that he could mark the class attendance, in the thirty minutes before class started.

As if summoned by her thoughts, the door opened and said teacher slouched into the room, and instead of the normal 'Good Morning, Sensei' that students usually greeted their teachers with, the class yelled "You're late!"

Kakashi gave a rather epic story of his rescue of a poor, helpless kitten from a tree, before clapping his hands together twice, as he remained standing in front of the class. As Sakura had learnt from previous lessons, this meant that the silver-haired man had something important to announce.

"As most of you know, the sports festival in coming up," He droned, "I'm supposed to brief you guys about it, because I'm told it's very different from other schools' sports festivals."

'_**Different how? I hope it's different because it's compulsory for the guys to run around shirtless and the day ends with a giant orgy,'**_ Inner leered.

'_Inner, shut up.'_ Sakura internally cringed at Inner's crude remarks. This was the person who wanted to read Icha Icha? Over her dead body. If Inner read the porn series, she could just imagine… She shuddered. No, she didn't want to imagine.

"The sports festival will be held over three days, from Wednesday, the day after tomorrow, to Friday. Each day with symbolize a different round of the competition between various teams. Majority of the teams will be picked out of the competition over the course of Wednesday and Thursday until only about ten will remain on the last day, from the original two hundred and eighty-four teams we've split you guys into."

'_**Hoo boy, that's some intense competition,'**_ Inner whistled.

'_Inner, shut. Up.'_ Sakura gritted her teeth, trying to ignore her irritating alternate personality and concentrate on what Kakashi was saying.

"The teams with consist mostly of three- or four-man teams, and you will be grouped with your classmates, which means that, since we have thirty-eight students in our class, we will have ten teams of three and two teams of four."

'_**We should be grouped with like, the hottest guys in class! It would be our own personal harem! Hmm, maybe that orgy-' **_Inner's perverted remarks finally got on Sakura's last nerves. She grabbed Inner, shoved her into a tiny box she'd just thought up in their mindscape, and locked said box with a multitude of chains and locks.

"Teams will have to participate in the events planned out over the three days, and accumulate points. At the end of each day, the teams who do not meet the designated number of points will be removed from the competition. The events will vary in the number of people required to participate, so don't worry about losing out because you have less people. In some events that require the whole team to participate, having more members will actually slow you down…"

Blissful silence permeated Sakura's mind as Kakashi paused to let the information sink in.

"Now, for the team allocations…" Kakashi paused as he rummaged around in his pockets, before pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. "Team One…" Sakura only half-listened to Kakashi reading out the teams, still absorbed in excitement for the sports festival (though, really, it was less of a festival and more like a competition, why was it even called a festival anyway?) until she heard:

"Team Seven: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Shimura Sai. Team Eight…"

Sakura tuned out Naruto's triumphant yell at hearing his allocation, which slowly turned into an aggravated one as he realised he was in the same team as Sasuke, as well as Inner's _**'Score!'**_ when she finally managed to wrangle her way out of her makeshift prison, in favour of glancing at Sai. She had only talked to him once, very briefly, as Ino went around introducing all of their classmates to her.

* * *

"_And this," Ino announced dramatically, "is Sai." _

_Sakura surveyed the pale, dark-haired boy. He sat in the back of class, at the opposite corner of the classroom from Gaara, and as such was the last person in class that Ino introduced to her. He seemed to be partially shrouded in shadows, almost as if he would slip into them at any moment and disappear. On his desk lay an incomplete sketch of a great oak tree. The boy smiled at her as he extended a hand, saying, "Nice to meet you."_

'**Ew, could that smile be any more fake?'**

'Hush, Inner.'

"_Hello," Sakura said instead, "Nice to meet you too. That sketch looks like the finished one will be really beautiful, but how do you draw so well when it's so dark here?"_

_The boy blinked, a sliver of surprise making its way into his expression, as his fake smile dropped easily off his face. As if noticing that, he smiled again, "I have excellent vision, even in the dark, Ugly."_

"_I'm sorry?" Disbelief and anger warred in her mind, even as Inner flipped an imaginary table in fury. _

"_Ah, don't mind him, he's always doing that, he doesn't actually mean it." Ino chimed in nervously as she tried to usher Sakura back to her seat. As deceptively harmless as Sakura seemed, Ino had been through enough gossip to know that there was always an element of truth behind rumours, and she didn't want to find out just how strong and violent Sakura was by seeing her beat up the emotionally-constipated Sai._

"_But I do mean what the nickname implies, Gorgeous," He said, making Inner erupt in a furious__**, **_**'WHY IS SHE CALLED GORGEOUS AND WE'RE CALLED UGLY?!'**

_Ino had to call Naruto and Sasuke over to help drag the enraged Sakura away._

_Sai tilted his head, clueless. '_Why was Ugly so angry? Didn't that book say that to make friends, you either give them a name that really fits them, or something that is the total opposite of their character? So far, only Ino's been happy with her nickname. Why didn't Sasuke like 'Emo', it describes him perfectly as well…?'

* * *

Sakura gave Sai the evil eye, as he sat opposite from her. Kakashi had given them the remaining fifteen minutes before class started to get into their groups for the sports festival, and so the four members of Team Seven sat opposite each other in a vaguely circular manner, with Sakura facing Sai, and Sasuke facing Naruto.

After a minute of silence between the team mates, Sasuke sighed. "I suppose we should talk about our strengths and weaknesses, so that we can strategize for the sports festival and hopefully win something-"

"Damn right we'll win, dattebayo!" Naruto interrupted, oblivious to the way Sasuke twitched in anger, a vein pulsing. "You guys have the awesome and magnificent Uzumaki Naruto on your team! I'm good at football- though there was that incident with Gai-sensei… Oh, I'm also very, very smart! Except that I kind of failed the Math test… and barely passed Japanese and English… Eh, I can run… but I'm not good at sprinting, and I get distracted when running long distance and go off-track…" He rubbed his chin in a pensive manner.

"So, in summary, he's good at nothing," Sasuke said, leaning back on his chair with his arms crossed. It was obvious that he was still holding a grudge against Naruto for interrupting him earlier.

"Teme!" Naruto snarled as he lunged at Sasuke, body tackling him to the floor.

"Dickless, Emo, please stop acting like children. Or is this what they call 'foreplay'…?" Sai smiled.

"Fucking bastard!" Both Naruto and Sasuke lunged at Sai, causing his chair to fly backwards and hit the desk behind him, toppling it as the three boys collapsed to the floor in a flailing tangle of limbs, chairs, desks and assorted school materials.

Sakura rubbed a hand over her face in frustration, sighing.

"Oh yeah, I am _so totally_ confident in our team," She grumbled.

* * *

AN2: Because even in an alternate universe, Team Seven just cannot be separated.

They're just too adorable, I can't take it! Squeal. This is shameless self-promotion, but I've written some Team Seven x Sakura fics, so you guys can check it out! They're in totally different genres though.

Alright, now on to more serious matters.

I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. Well, I actually just posted this story as a spur of the moment thing, and didn't plan it out too much. Somehow, it's evolved into this gigantic monster that I'm struggling to write without making it seem terribly disjointed and weird. I've promised myself that I wouldn't abandon this fic, so I'm taking the slow and steady approach to this. I've become borderline obsessive with this story and with AtSoF, which is turning into another monster.

Also, my dad had a heart attack a few weeks ago, and it was pretty serious, though he's fine now, thank God. It's been pretty hard for me though, since I've always been a daddy's girl and all that.

On top of that, I have to decide what I want to do with my life since I'm going for university later in the year, and I realised that I more or less... have absolutely no fucking clue. (collapse)

I don't suppose that any one of you guys reading this are multi-millionaires that wouldn't mind supporting a lazy slob like me? (I will write for money) (laughs)

Hmm... yeah, so that about sums up my life the last month or two.

As such, **updates might be slow in coming, though they will appear... eventually... **

Which brings me to my next order of business, which is that I now have a twitter account! My username is icicleojousama . If you're bored, want to drool over Kakashi, or a helpless Naruto fangirl with no other friends who like Naruto (like me), drop me a tweet, maybe with your pen name so I have a vague idea who you guys are! (Please remember that if you private your tweets I can't see them even if you tag me. Heh.) Or you can just private message me here to talk, though I might not check it that often.

I'll also put sneak previews of chapters that I'm writing up on twitter. If people actually want that, of course. If not I'll just be talking to myself, as usual.

Thanks for reading this fic, and for reading this disgustingly self-pitying and whiny rant, I really do love you guys and your reviews help me to keep going.

As a reward for being all nice and reading my note, here's a scene I was just dying to write!

* * *

Omake

A knock on his front door distracted Kakashi from his book (he absently reminded himself yet again to fix his doorbell) and he reluctantly heaved himself off the sofa, which he'd been sprawled on since coming back from school, shuffling to the door.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, what is it?" He blinked lazily, somewhat surprised to see her at his doorstep, fidgeting uncomfortably.

She mumbled something unintelligibly, while determinedly looking anywhere but him.

"Sakura-chan, you'll have to speak up, I can't hear you," Kakashi said patiently, even as his fingers twitched from wanting to get back to his book. He was just in the middle of the scene where Junko-

"Can I borrow Icha Icha?" Sakura blurted out, before flushing rather endearingly.

Kakashi's thoughts ground to a halt.

"Wha… What?" He reared back in horror. Surely he must have misheard!

His favourite, pink-haired, adorable _fifteen-year-old _student was actually… a closet pervert?! (Not that he was in any position to judge, but…)

"Ano… Eto… err… Forget I said anything!" She finally said, her hands waving around in embarrassment. She then dashed back into her apartment, slamming the door behind her and leaving an uncharacteristically dumbfounded Kakashi in her wake.

'_**Argh, so close!'**_ Inner lamented, before Sakura, fueled by intense embarrassment, roughly shoved her back into the tiny imagined box in her mindscape.

* * *

Review!


	15. The SDIMOR(OY)

AN: Hi everyone! I'm baaaaaack!

Thank you so much for all the reviews, the supportive comments, the funny imagery - they really do keep me going! I've been steadily working on this chapter and it's been a monster. Like the demon spawn - er, I mean, the little angels I play with at the childcare centre...

I'm so sorry for any mistakes I made! I don't like the flow of this chapter, tried to add in funny moments but... this is what happens after a lot of shit happens in the author's life, including a camp-a-thon (a total of three two- or three-night, overnight camps back to back with only a few hours in between each to pack and sleep) and other miscellaneous stuff.

* * *

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto... we'll just stop there before I give anyone nightmares.

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Fifteen

The Super Duper Intense Multi-legged Obstacle Race (of Youth)

* * *

It was the first day of the sports festival, and Sakura was pumped. She could just imagine the way her abilities were going to be pushed to their limits in this intense three-day course. Tugging impatiently on one of her socks, she impatiently waited for Naruto and Sasuke to show up, Sai a silent shadow next to her. The pinkette was wearing her school's p.e. attire, along with a comfortable pair of running shoes and socks. In an effort to facilitate some form of team spirit, she'd persuaded Sai to help her in decorating strips of black cloth with the words 'TEAM SEVEN' in bold red, and gave one to each of her team members. Hers was currently tied in her hair as a makeshift hairband, while Sai had his tied around his forehead.

"Yo! Sorry we're late, Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted cheerfully as he dragged a reluctant Sasuke along behind him, making his way through the crowds of students to where Sakura and Sai waited. He was, like everyone else, wearing their p.e. attire. All the boys had decided to wear their Team Seven headbands in the same way: on their foreheads. Inner scoffed at their lack of originality but otherwise remained silent - she was still sulking over their failure to obtain Icha Icha from Kakashi and as a result, was absorbed in plotting more ways to get the perverted novels.

"Ah, it's okay, Naruto," Sakura said. "They haven't started the briefing yet."

As if summoned by her words, a green blur suddenly leapt onto a table, followed by the screech of a megaphone. Gai lifted up said megaphone, as he bellowed, "A most good morning to you all, my youthful students!"

Said students clapped their hands to their ears in pain, as the spandex-clad teacher's already loud voice was magnified to deafening proportions by the megaphone. Tsunade reached up from where she was standing next to the table, and grabbed the megaphone from him, crushing it in the process as she let her anger get the better of her.

"You don't need the megaphone, moron!"

"Ah, right you are, Tsunade-sama! How is it, my cute and youthful students? Can you hear the voice of Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast as it calls out to your hearts-?" Gai was promptly cut off as someone from the crowd threw a stone at him, hitting him on the head with enough force to knock him off the table. A voice that Sakura was pretty certain belonged to Deidara shouted, "Get on with the briefing!"

The seemingly innocuous stone that had been thrown at Gai promptly exploded.

Chaos ensued briefly as a cloud of dust swallowed the area, in which all that the student's heard was Gai's unmanly scream and Tsunade's enraged, "Deidara, DETENTION!"

* * *

Everything gradually settled down and a slightly charred, sombre Gai retook his place on the table, resuming his speech, "The first event will take place shortly. It is called… the Super Duper Intense Multi-legged Race of Youth!" His voice, which had risen into an excited bellow when announcing the name of the event, died abruptly as he glanced around, almost as if expecting another explosive to be thrown at him. As nothing happened for the next minute or two (Deidara was still sulking from being assigned a week of detention) he continued, slightly more confidently.

"This is one of the most youthful events, which will require the participation of the whole team! You will tie your legs together with these strips of cloth, and make your way through the obstacle course that the teachers have prepared for you!" He gestured to the huge field just around the corner, out of sight of the students. "Unlike the other events where you earn points based on your ranking in the event, no points will be allocated for this event! Instead, only teams that complete the obstacle race will be eligible for the other events of the sports festival!"

"Well, that's pretty unfair," Sakura commented under her breath. "That means that some teams won't have anything to do for the next few days."

"W-Well," a soft voice replied her, and Sakura turned to see that Hinata was behind her. "F-from what I heard from my c-cousin, N-Neji, he said that t-the first events are always a-aimed at e-eliminating as many t-teams as possible. T-Those eliminated u-usually just settle in f-for the show of the next few d-days, since it's bound t-to be entertaining. I-if a team feels it's unfair, t-they can petition to compete in another e-event of the principal's choosing, and if t-they get first place, they are eligible to re-enter the competition."

"Ah, I see. I guess it's okay if they get a second chance…" Sakura said, rubbing her chin in thought.

'_**Knowing Tsunade-ba-chan though, she'd choose the most difficult event to make it more entertaining,' **_Inner snickered.

"Sakura," A voice caught her attention. She turned to see Sasuke beckoning her over to the rest of the team. After wishing Hinata good luck in the next events, she walked over to him. "We have to decide which order we're going to be in for the competition. The ones at the end will most likely be the ones to direct the team and will be the ones with the most mobility. In addition, the ones in the middle will be those who can work the best with people since they will have both legs tied to another person."

Sakura eyed her teammates, trying to decide who would benefit from which position, even as Naruto and Sasuke got into another fight that Sai got dragged into because of an inopportune comment. In the end, she decided that strategizing be damned, Naruto and Sasuke were going to be on the ends so that they'd have a harder time trying to quarrel. Hence, the order they were tied in ended up being: Sasuke, Sai, Sakura and Naruto, since Sai would just agitate Naruto further and Sakura would be able to hopefully help Naruto keep an eye out on his end.

"After your teams are tied securely, please make your way to the starting line around that corner!" Gai shouted again.

Team Seven took one step forward… and promptly fell on their face.

"ARGH!"

"Watch it, Dobe! Don't drag us down!"

"Shut up, fucker!"

"Keep us out of the lover's quarrel, will you?"

"Guys, can we focus on getting off the floor?!"

"Shut up, Sai! No one asked you!"

"Usuratonkachi, do you only have that one counter? 'Shut up'? You really are an idiot…"

"Shut… TEME!"

"DOBE!"

"Guys…"

"Again with the sexual tension…"

"You…!"

"GUYS! WILL YOU STOP QUARELLING SO WE CAN FUCKING GET UP?!"

…

"Yes, Sakura-chan…"

After a few failed attempts, Team Seven was once again on their feet and slowly made their way to the starting line, chanting "1, 2, 1, 2…", gaining confidence with every successful step. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this team wasn't so hopeless after – oomph.

"DOBE!"

"TEME!"

* * *

Team Seven finally reached the starting line, bruised and slightly worse for wear. The only consolation was that all the teams around them seemed to be in the same predicament. Sakura could vaguely hear an indignant Ino yelling, "Chouji, use smaller steps - I can't keep up!" All thoughts, however, were swept away when the students saw the sight in front of them.

A towering rock climbing wall stood in front of them, its sides stretching as far as the eye could see – not to mention its height. Sakura felt a little dizzy just looking up to see where it ended. Not to mention – rock climbing?! While tied to two or three other people?! Were they trying to kill the students? Granted, the surrounding area was heavily padded with safety mattresses, and there seemed to be safety ropes, but… it was still insane.

"Yosh, it seems like you have seen the first obstacle! When I blow this whistle, you will all run to find an area of the wall for you to climb! Each team will be provided with one safety rope! Continue on until the end of the course, my students!" Gai shouted, giving them a cheesy smile and a thumbs up, oblivious to the horror-struck students. He promptly blew the whistle, and the unprepared students were dazed for a moment. Those with faster reaction times immediately tore for the wall – Sakura recognised the signature Akatsuki cloaks – before the rest of the students followed suit.

Team Seven had been one of the first few to reach the wall, thankfully without any mishaps, and they stared at the safety rope that presumably dangled from the very top of the wall.

"Sakura-chan should have the rope!" Naruto said chivalrously, with the other two males nodding along. Sakura, somewhat touched by their chivalry, chose not to mention that should they slip and the boys were to rely on her to pull them to safety, their combined weights would likely snap her like a twig if she were truly as delicate as they thought. It was lucky that she _wasn't_ as delicate as they thought, then.

After the safety rope was securely fastened around Sakura's waist, Team Seven began.

Sasuke first placed his unbound right leg on one foothold, securely grabbing two handholds, however, when he tried to place his and Sai's bound legs on a foothold…

"Emo, I don't think my leg is supposed to bend that way, it's very uncomfortable," Sai said, stopping their legs from moving.

"Owww, Sakura-chan!"

"Sorry, Naruto, I can't help it, my leg's shorter so I can't use that foothold!"

"But this one's bending my leg! It's going to break…!"

"Stop being melodramatic, Naruto. What do you suggest then?"

"Lean your weight on me, and I'll use that foothold."

"Um I don't think that's a good idea…"

"C'mon, trust me!" Naruto gave his signature grin.

Sakura sighed. "Alright. But if I fall, I'm punching you."

"Aw, Sakura-chan, but we're not even off the ground yet! It wouldn't hurt at all!"

"Naruto…"

"Alright alright…"

"Hey, Sasuke-teme, Sai, look! We did it!" Sasuke sighed. This was going to take a while.

* * *

Sakura had to hand it to Tsunade, while she'd initially questioned her aunt's sanity for agreeing to this obstacle, it was truly an exercise in mutual trust and compromise between teammates, as well as a test of their strength and perseverance. The teams that had fallen had also not been injured beyond what the school doctor, Yakushi Kabuto, was capable of handling. Team Seven was currently more than halfway up the wall – after the initial kinks had been worked out, they had discovered that they had actually had great compatibility and their teamwork had reflected that.

Not to mention that Naruto and Sasuke's competitive spirit had been ignited when one of the Akatsuki teams – Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Sasori had breezed passed them with nothing more than a "Hi, Sakura-chan (un)!" and a superior smirk thrown over Itachi's shoulder at Sasuke.

* * *

Team Ten, which consisted of Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru, were a few metres down and to the right of Team Seven, a fact that Sakura was made aware of only when Shikamaru called, "Oi, Team Seven!"

"What is it, Shikamaru?" Naruto yelled back, frustrated, as he tried to grab a handhold that was just out of his reach.

"I think you guys should switch the safety rope to someone else," The Nara genius drawled.

"Why?! Are you threatening Sakura's safety?!" Naruto retorted, at the end of his patience as he grabbed for the elusive handhold. Sai and Sasuke looked similarly nonplussed, something Inner found funny because she would have expected them to come to the same realisation as Shikamaru.

"Idiot, it's the opposite. If you guys fall and Sakura is tied to the safety rope, she'll have to hold your weight and it will probably snap her spine," Shikamaru said bluntly.

"WHAT?!" In his shock, Naruto grabbed for the handhold once more and missed, causing him to slip off the footholds and handhold he was currently holding onto and dragging Sakura along with him, which caused Sai to slip off too. Fortunately, Sasuke, being at the end of the 'chain', had had enough time to react accordingly and had a firm grip on his handholds, though he was visibly straining.

Sakura grunted as she bore the brunt of Naruto's and half of Sai's weight (since Sasuke was supporting the other half). "Thanks a lot, Shikamaru," She gritted out, strained and annoyed at the genius for jinxing them. It didn't help that Naruto was panicked and flailing, shouting, "Sakura-chan! Is your spine broken?!"

"NO, NARUTO, MY SPINE IS NOT BROKEN, NOW WILL YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN AND STOP STRUGGLING?!" Sakura eventually yelled, as she grasped the safety rope and half-pulled, half-swung them back to their previous position at the rock wall, having dropped a few centimetres when they fell even with Sasuke keeping his hold on the wall. The safety rope's mechanism was such that it retracted as they made their way up, but only slowed their descent and did not prevent them from actually dropping onto the safety mattresses on the ground – a very, very large distance away, Sakura noticed as she glanced down.

Sasuke exhaled softly in relief as they regained their footing, his death grip loosening. Sakura winced at the sight of the bloody mess his fingertips had become from the ordeal, and made the team pause for a while for Sasuke to administer what first aid he could (which admittedly wasn't much). She made use of the reprieve to rest her aching abdomen. She was fairly certain that she would have a rope-shaped bruise circling her middle tomorrow. While her spine had not snapped, as feared by the boys who didn't know her better, she wasn't invincible and so was not immune to injury. She pushed the pain to the back of her mind, determination filling her anew when she looked up and realised that they only had a few more metres to go. By this time, she estimated that only about fifty teams of the two hundred and eighty odd teams had overcome the Towering Rock Wall of Doom, as Inner had dubbed it.

"Sorry about that," Shikamaru mumbled, Team Ten having caught up to Team Seven in the ten minutes they'd been stationary.

"You better be sorry, Shikamaru! What would you have done if Sakura'd been seriously injured because of you, huh? She's my best friend!" Ino screeched from between him and Chouji. The boys of Team Ten adopted long-suffering looks of pain while the Team Seven boys shot them sympathetic looks.

"It's fine, Shikamaru," Sakura sighed, ignoring Inner's roar of, '_**It is most certainly NOT fine! GROVEL FOR FOGIVENESS!'**_

Shikamaru nodded in response, still looking vaguely apologetic.

"Hn." Sasuke scoffed. "Like it will slow us down anyway." He shot the rest of Team Seven looks to show he was fine now, causing Naruto and Sakura to grin before Team Seven shot off towards the top of the wall, leaving Team Ten in the figurative dust.

Team Seven completed the first obstacle without any further mishaps, and took a while at the platform on top of the wall to just look down on the suckers that had yet to complete the obstacle.

"Congratulations on clearing the first obstacle," A deep voice sounded behind them. "Now… it is time to… DIE." Team Seven whirled around only to see a creepily shadowed face that was unnervingly close to them, empty black eyes boring into their souls. Naruto let loose a girly scream.

Tenzou Yamato clicked off the flashlight, getting rid of the effect that created his infamous 'scary face' before grinning. "Just kidding! Well, I'm Tenzou Yamato, call me Yamato-sensei. I'm just here to tell you guys about the next task. You guys have made the effort to come all the way up here… Now you just have to…"

Sakura was beginning to get a bad feeling.

"Walk back down – all fifteen or so flights of our extremely narrow staircase, which most definitely cannot fit three people width-wise, let alone four." Yamato let loose an evil looking grin. "Oh, and don't forget to do it within fifteen minutes, or you'll be disqualified."

'_**I think this sports festival is just the teacher's way of getting back at the students for years of sloppy handwriting and poorly done homework,' **_Inner grumbled. _**'Stupid sadistic teachers…**_'

A cheerful Yamato waved them off, as Team Seven gingerly made their difficult way sideways down the staircase.

* * *

An extremely battered Team Seven emerged from the tower entrance to the staircase with forty seconds to spare, having tumbled down eight of the fourteen (Sakura had counted) flights of stairs, after one (or more) of the team members had slipped, misstepped, misjudged, or otherwise fell down, dragging the others with them. Sakura wasn't even sure how the four of them had been able to tumble down the stairs head-over-heels when they couldn't even fit side-by-side if they stood on a single step, but had understandably been more concerned with trying to stop their descent than figuring out the logical impossibilities of their fall.

Kakashi shooed them off to the second obstacle, nose buried in Icha Icha (though he made sure to stay far out of Sakura's reach and that the contents of his book were out of her line of sight). It turned out to be a series of hurdles of increasing heights, until the final hurdle seemed more like a high jump event than a hurdle where you were expected to leap across while running. Added to the fact that they were tied together and were of varying heights…

It was a painful experience that Sakura had absolutely no desire to repeat.

* * *

The third obstacle had been to climb up a wall of logs, spaced apart enough that you had to step forward to the next log and could see the ground between each step, and climb back down. While it sounded (and looked) pretty simple, it was anything but – especially when they neared the peak, a good three storeys off the ground.

"Guys," Naruto gulped. "I think I might be scared of heights."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh… um. Well. Shit."

"Wow, Dickless. You're really… dickless."

"Stop dragging us down!"

"I can't! I really can't take the next step!"

"You have to! We have to do it together, or we'll all fall! FEAR THAT, DOBE!"

"NO I CAN'T MAKE THE NEXT STEP, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, TEME!"

"Oh, for the love of…!"

The other three members, by silent agreement, leapt together to the next – and highest – log, landing in a crouch and gripping tightly to the log to avoid overbalancing due to a hysterical Naruto, who had been dragged along.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"…"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE!"

"Naruto…"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN MANAGED TO EAT SIXTY BOWLS OF RAMEN IN ONE SITTING YET! MY LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE!"

"Naruto, open your eyes. We made it across."

Naruto opened his eyes a fraction, realising that Sakura had spoken the truth. Just as he was about to let loose an exhilarated whoop of joy for being alive, Sai interrupted, "I wouldn't celebrate if I were you, Dickless. We still have to go down."

Silence. Then…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

After running for quite a distance after the third obstacle, Team Seven arrived at the site of the fourth and final obstacle, huffing and puffing. They were greeted by a nightmarish sight – a grinning Anko.

'_We're fucked,'_ ran through all of their heads.

'_**The only thing that could make her this happy is the misery and suffering of hundreds of students…' **_Inner observed_**. 'Well, better you than me, Outer-chan!'**_

"Congratulations on getting this far, maggots!" Anko beamed. Sakura was pretty sure that somewhere around the world, ten adorable puppies just died. "But you'll need more than just luck to get past this obstacle!"

She gestured grandly to a smooth concrete wall just shy of two metres tall, before which many teams were sprawled, some crying, others howling in despair, and some just determinedly trying to get over the wall. "As you can see, the objective is to get yourselves over the wall. Have fun! Oh, and just a reminder," She checked her watch in an exaggerated motion. "You only have half an hour left in the race! Should be plenty of time, ne?" She added, on seeing their relieved faces, "See that team over there?" She indicated a team of four boys, who seemed to be body slamming themselves into the wall in hope of breaking through the foot of solid concrete.

"They've been here for two hours."

Anko's shit-eating grin was so blinding that Sakura was pretty sure the image would be imprinted on the back of her eyelids for the next month.

* * *

Twenty-eight minutes and twelve seconds later, Team Seven rolled off the top of the concrete wall, uncaring of the scrapes they received from the sharp edges. They breathed a sigh of relief and patted each other on the backs to signal a job well done, too out of breath to communicate verbally.

Tsunade's voice sounded from above their exhausted forms. "Team Seven! You have made it across with…" The team collectively held their breaths. Did they have time to spare? Since no one was in possession of a watch, they had simple gotten desperate after some time had passed and given their all. Had they made it within the half hour Anko had told them was left?

"Two hours, forty-one minutes, and forty-eight seconds to spare. Congratulations!"

"WHAT?!"

"But… But Anko-sensei said…"

The team simultaneously had an image of Anko in their heads, grinning and saying, "Oops! Did I say half an hour left? I actually meant that there were three hours left!" before flashing them an unrepentant thumbs up. They also remembered her glee when they had become more and more desperate towards the 'end' of the race.

"Son of a…!"

* * *

Omake inspired by the lovely lUnA-FloRerE

It was the day before the sports festival, and Kakashi was basking in the normalcy of his evening by once again lounging on his couch, reading Icha Icha. A knock sounded from the vicinity of the door, and Kakashi paused, midway through a particularly racy scene. Flashbacks of the visit from his pink-haired student and her unusual request a few days ago ran across his mind, and Kakashi had to repress a shudder.

He cautiously opened the door a crack, peering out warily. Catching a glimpse of tell-tale pastel pink, he snapped the door shut immediately, leaving a bewildered pinkette on his doorstep.

A minute later, Kakashi opened the door again, and slightly out of breath, said, "Ah, Sakura, what a surprise." He opened his door a bit wider, allowing her to see a little of his apartment. It was as messy as ever, with only one glaring difference from the norm – nothing even remotely R-rated could be seen, where usually the Icha Icha series were piled all over the place, some laying open to display the illustrations within for all to see.

Sakura bit her tongue to keep from laughing as she caught sight of a corner of a garishly orange book, shoved mostly out of sight from the doorway.

'_Inner, this is all your fault. Now Kakashi-sensei thinks that he's corrupted us or something!'_

'_**Aww man, I'm so sorry,'**_Inner apologized, rather uncharacteristically, Sakura thought, before she continued. _**'Now it'll be even harder to steal one of them! All our carefully made plans…'**_

'_Your plans, Inner. YOURS, not ours,'_ Sakura emphasized.

"Erm, Sakura?" Kakashi's voice snapped her out of her conversation with Inner, and she quickly remembered why she was in front of her teacher's apartment.

"Oh, right! I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei," She said, a slight blush colouring her cheeks. Kakashi gripped the doorframe tighter in an effort not to do something embarrassing, like cuddling his student and cooing at her. "Well, because the sports festival is tomorrow, I was thinking of doing something for my teammates to cheer them on… so I was hoping you'd give me your opinion on it?" She peered up at him, large emerald eyes shining.

"Of course," Kakashi replied before his brain could catch up. He then cast a slightly mournful look at Icha Icha, lying out of Sakura's line of sight (or so he thought).

Sakura took a deep breath before whipping off the oversized jacket she'd been wearing. The flurry of cloth momentarily blocked Kakashi's vision, and Sakura was suddenly standing before him, in the cutest cheerleading uniform _ever_, in the Konoha High colours of red, grey and white and brandishing two silver pompoms.

"Gambatte ne, Team Seven! Go, go, GO!"

Kakashi promptly collapsed, one hand clapped over his eyes while the other covered his nose due to the sudden onset of a heavy nosebleed.

'_She's my student, I'm not a lolicon, she's my student, she's only fifteen. She's my student…'_

"Sensei?" Sakura asked, alarmed. She crouched down, pompoms still clutched before her. Kakashi stubbornly kept his hand over his eyes, refusing to look at the oblivious pinkette. "As I thought… it's no good?"

"Sakurah," Kakashi said thickly, the nosebleed affecting his speech somewhat, "I absolutely forbid you from doing that in front of anyone else. Ever."

"Hai, Sensei…"

* * *

AN2: Review!

And feel free to give me suggestions for omakes!


	16. Teachers Torture Teenagers Tenaciously

AN:I LIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Hello everyone, sorry for the wait! But here is the next chapter of VINTA (Yaaaaay!). I've just finished my first semester of university and I'm free of finals so I've had plenty of time to complete this chapter as well as the next chapter of AtSoF - I'm on holiday in a mountain casino resort where I'm too young to actually gamble so lol loads of time to spare.

If anyone's interested, chapter eight of AtSoF is finished too but I'm going to upload it later in order to prolong the happy feeling I obtain from reviews that tend to flood in from an update, so expect it about a week later. Huh. That sounded so much less pathetic in my head. Oh well.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"talking in Japanese"

'_thinking_'

'_**Inner Sakura'**_

* * *

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Sixteen

Teacher Torture Teenagers Tenaciously

* * *

"SAKURA-CHAAAAAAANNNNNN!" A gleeful voice sounded, before Sakura found herself glomped by her ecstatic blonde teammate.

'_**Muscles!'**_ Inner squealed.

"Gyah!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Dobe!" Sasuke shouted as he tried to pry a stubborn Naruto off of Sakura.

"YOUTH!" A teen who had a disturbing resemblance to Gai (Sakura vaguely remembered him as a second year named Rock Lee) bellowed excitedly, not wanting to be left out. He then stared at Sakura, reddened and dashed off.

After a moment of chaos, Naruto, who seemed to have calmed down significantly, managed to convey what he had wanted to tell Sakura.

"I annoyed Baa-chan into telling me what the next event is! It's… a RAMEN EATING CONTEST! WOOHOO!" Naruto whooped at the top of his lungs, while Sasuke groaned. Sai stood to the side, watching everything with a fake smile.

As Team Seven soon found out, in this segment of the competition, the whole team had to take part to devour copious amounts of ramen in the shortest time possible; as with all subsequent events, points would be allocated according to how many teams you managed to beat in the competition (one point per team beaten), with the teams that do not meet the designated number of points at the end of the day being disqualified. The number of bowls of ramen to be eaten would depend on the number of team members in the group and would be calculated by multiplying the number of members by four.

* * *

Sakura stared at the huge bowl of ramen in front of her, a pair of wooden chopsticks clenched in her hands.

"I'm supposed to eat _four_ of these?!" She gasped, appalled. Just one bowl would be enough to fill her to the point of bursting.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan! I can eat the rest of your share!" Naruto flashed her a thumbs up, grinning. "And Sai and Teme's share, actually. Sixteen bowls of ramen is what I usually eat for breakfast, dattebayo!"

"Oh, that reminds me," Tsunade said, the whistle to signal the start of the contest pausing inches from her lips. "Don't forget that each member has to eat at least a bit of ramen. And, since we all know what an unfair advantage this is for Naruto," She paused as the hall echoed with shouts of agreement, most notably a 'Hell fucking yeah, bitch!' from Hidan which she ignored with great difficulty so as to continue, "The total number of bowls of ramen his team has to eat is increased from sixteen to forty."

"FORTY?" Sasuke said in what he meant to be an indignant fashion, but really sounded more like a squawk, further emphasizing the whole chicken image he had going with his hairstyle. Inner snorted before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Sakura, on the other hand, was too horrified by the fact that their allocated bowls of ramen had more than doubled and now formed a veritable mountain, and so was too preoccupied to show much reaction.

"That's… that's still no problem, dattebayo!" Naruto declared, though it was obvious that his bravado was false.

Tsunade's eyes glinted in challenge as she said, "Alright then, let's change it to sixty."

Sasuke whipped his head in Naruto's direction, murderous intent evident in his eyes (Sakura _thought_ she saw his eyes flash red, but that must have been a trick of the light). He slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth as the blonde opened his mouth again, no doubt to do something similarly stupid and completely ruin their chances of winning. The Uchiha's fingers twitched with the urge to inflict bodily harm on him, but restrained himself – Naruto was their ace for this event, after all. (And damn, he never thought he would _ever_ think that.)

Sakura gulped as she stared at the growing mountain of ramen bowls before Team Seven. She was mentally preparing herself to eat until she puked her guts out (or burst, whichever came first) when Sai's voice interrupted her, "What's wrong, Ugly? Worried about your diet? I can't blame you though. With a face like that, you'd have to have a really fantastic body to avoid being single for the rest of your life. Though," He peered at her intently, "I don't think you'd achieve any sort of flattering figure even if you starved for weeks."

Sakura's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, angered to the point of speechlessness.

'_Son of a bitch, DID HE JUST CALL US UGLY? BOTH DIRECTLY AND INDIRECTLY?!'_

'_**HE CALLED US FAT TOO! OH MY LORD, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PAINTBRUSHES, YOU PASTY FACED MORON, 'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE SHOVED SO FAR UP YOUR-'**_

"Anyway," Tsunade interrupted hurriedly, having overheard Sakura and Sai's interaction and recognizing the signs of an Epic Sakura Tantrum, "If everything's fine now, let's begin!" She blew the whistle.

The dining hall echoed with the sounds of many pairs of wooden chopsticks snapping apart simultaneously.

Sasuke gingerly stuck his chopsticks into the bowl before him, before bringing some noodles to his mouth.

"Tch!" He dropped his chopsticks, clapping a hand to his mouth in pain. The ramen was piping hot – intentional, he was sure, glimpsing the sadistic smirks on some teacher's faces. Around him, fellow participants reacted similarly – all except for Naruto, who practically inhaled the ramen with the ease of much practice, a blissful look on his face, and Kisame, who simply tipped his head back and swallowed ramen by the bowl, seemingly without chewing, and looking for all the world like some kind of demented reptile consuming its prey whole.

The other participants began to resume eating, though they were notably more cautious, while Anko cackled maniacally in the background at the obvious difficulty with which they ate. Sakura was beginning to think that they should rename the sports festival the 'Teachers Torture Teenagers Tenaciously for Three Days' Festival, even as she carefully began eating.

Meanwhile, Naruto, seemingly mortally offended by the fact that Kisame was eating ramen faster than he was, decided to abandon all form of table manners in favour of upping his game; Sakura determinedly looked anywhere but at him after witnessing some participants glance at him, turn green and subsequently make a mad dash for the washroom to empty the contents of their stomach.

* * *

In the meantime, other teams were experiencing their own problems.

"Eww. Look at the oil in this thing! No way in _hell_ am I eating that," Ino crossed her arms before turning away with a huff.

"No problem! Leave it to me!" Chouji said, already on his third bowl while others were struggling to finish their first. While he wasn't as speedy an eater as Naruto or Kisame, he was formidable in his own right. Slow and steady, as he always said, wins the race.

Shikamaru finished about half of his second bowl before groaning, "Ugh. Troublesome." He pushed his half-eaten bowl away, face planting on the table.

"What? No! Shikamaru, you lazy bastard, don't give up!"

"Shut up, woman! You didn't even touch your share!"

"Fine! I'll eat one bowl! So you better eat up! And I'll let you know, I'm gonna have to work out for a week to make up for this!"

"Tch. Troublesome."

"DON'T FALL ASLEEP!"

* * *

"Well, Shino, I gotta admit, this is useful. Gross, but useful," Kiba said as he eyed the bug infested bowls. Shino had utilised his creepy bug-whisperer technique to procure some… aid in finishing the bowls of ramen. They'd still eaten as much as they could, since bugs didn't usually eat ramen and so weren't able to eat too much too quickly, but it certainly helped. Kiba kicked back his chair, stretching lazily and rubbing his full stomach in satisfaction, oblivious to the ominous shadow looming behind him, though Hinata was not.

"U-um, Ki-Kiba…"

"Eh?"

"TEAM EIGHT! NO OUTSIDE HELP IS ALLOWED IN THIS COMPETITION, HUMAN OR NOT!" Tsunade bellowed. "DISQUALIFIED!" She then stalked away, mumbling about how the new students kept getting weirder and weirder.

* * *

Itachi primly ate from his bowl of ramen, unaffected by the whirlwind of activity next to him that was Kisame and Deidara. On his other side, Sasori was eating at a similarly relaxed pace.

"Oi, Uchiha, Danna," Deidara said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and momentarily pausing his frenzied actions. "Hurry up or we'll lose, un."

"…" Itachi ignored him. Sasori gave the blonde a dead-eyed stare that seemed to convey his utter disdain for the contest.

"Fucking hell," Deidara cursed. "EAT YOUR FUCKING RAMEN!" He flung some of his ramen in the Uchiha's direction. Said Uchiha dodged gracefully mid-bite, further infuriating him.

"FOOD SHOULD NOT BE USED AS PROJECTILES!" Tsunade thundered, popping out of nowhere. "DISQUALIFIED!"

"WHAT? NO!"

Itachi set his chopsticks down with a firm clack. He wiped his mouth with a napkin before turning to Tsunade.

"Tsunade-sama," He said, "That was not part of the rules you listed at the beginning of the competition. Therefore, it would be unfair for you to disqualify us on those grounds."

A vein popped in Tsunade's forehead. She took a deep breath and counted to ten. "…Fine," She gritted out, ignoring Deidara's whoop of triumph as an evil smile grew on her face. "However, Deidara will serve an additional week of detention for wasting food."

Itachi paused, then opened his mouth. "That seems fair," He agreed. Tsunade walked off, intent on getting some sake before she strangled one of her students.

"That is not fair, you red-eyed bastard!"

"Oi, Deidara, don't fight! Moron, do you want us to be disqualified for real?"

"But _Danna_…"

"Stop whining. It's disgusting."

* * *

"And the winner is… miraculously… Team Seven, where Naruto has proven that some of us have, in fact, not evolved since the Stone Age." Tsunade eyed Naruto in disgust. She was definitely going to add in a rule about table manners in next year's eating contest. Perhaps she would also choose a food that didn't splatter soup everywhere when eaten at a fast pace, and didn't look quite so disgusting when chewed with their mouths open.

"WOOHOO! See Sakura, told you not to worry, dattebayo!" Naruto cheered with a grin.

"Hmm…" Was all Sakura could manage to say. She was so full, it was all she could do not to hurl.

'_I don't think I can look at ramen the same way ever again…'_

'_**You think that's a tragedy? The real tragedy is that I can never look at that hottie the same way again after seeing him eat,'**_Inner mourned.

'_That's why I said not to look, didn't I?'_

'_**Hey, I can't help what you see in your peripheral vision…'**_

Tsunade continued, "And unfortunately, Team Ten is disqualified even though they finished eating in fifth place, because not all of the food was consumed – there was some bamboo shoots left in one bowl."

"WHAT?!" Chouji yelped uncharacteristically loudly.

"Well…" Ino said as she looked away sheepishly. "They taste yucky. Not to mention the horror they inflict on my complexion."

* * *

The next segment was not a physical one, since the teachers, sadistic though they were, had no desire to see the ramen their students had eaten make a reappearance. Instead, it was a test of their mathematical skills. Sakura was chosen to represent her team, having been able to solve many of the mathematical problems Kakashi had given during their lessons.

Kakashi swept the sheet off of the board with a flourish, revealing a complex jumble of symbols in an equation that filled the entire whiteboard with miniscule handwriting. Sakura went cross-eyed for a moment before regaining her bearings and beginning her attempt to solve it.

The event ended after an hour, with only thirty representatives out of the remaining hundred and twenty managing to solve the equation and hence gain points for their teams. The other teams who had not solved the question were not disqualified, but simply did not obtain any points. Team Seven had finished in seventeenth place. Pein, to Konan's open surprise, had come in first place. ("Huh. Never knew you had it in you. Maybe you aren't completely useless after all." "...Konan, sometimes I really hate you.")

* * *

"Well, my students, here is yet another youthful event! Gymnastics!" Gai gestured grandly. "Each team is to send out a representative to compete. He or she will have to complete this fixed routine and our three judges – Anko-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, and myself – will each give you a score out of ten! And of course, the higher you rank on the scoreboard, the more points your team will be awarded."

"That's too easy," Sakura mumbled. "There must be a catch." Sasuke 'Hn'ed in agreement.

"But the most youthful part of this," Gai continued enthusiastically, "Is not the extremely challenging routine, but the fact that you are required to do it while wearing this!" He brandished a flimsy green monstrosity, which the students realised with growing horror was an identical green jumpsuit to the one he was wearing – except for Lee, whose eyes shone with admiration and exhilaration.

The boys of Team Seven looked to Sakura.

"Er, actually," She scratched her cheek in slight embarrassment, avoiding eye contact. "I'm hopeless at gymnastics. I can't even do a cartwheel."

Sasuke folded his arms and directed a look at them that clearly conveyed, _'Well, _I'm_ not doing it.'_

Sai clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulder with a smile.

* * *

Sakura's eyes were glued to the scene before her, unable to look away despite Inner's desperate wails for mercy. "Guys… I think we made a horrible mistake…" She managed to utter.

"…I believe so." Sai's eyes were unusually wide – was that a hint of horror in his expression?

Sasuke closed his eyes in agony, wishing for someone to hit him hard enough on the head that he would experience memory loss.

* * *

Kurenai and Gai watched Naruto's performance with the morbid fascination one usually associates with those witnessing a car crash, while Anko laughed gleefully, clapping her hands.

"Um, well, thre- two points for the… commendable… effort," Kurenai said, face frozen in a grimace.

"Yes… how very… youthful." Gai, for once, seemed speechless.

"Ten! Ten points for the absolutely wonderful performance!" Anko shouted.

Naruto twitched from where he had face planted on the mat in his 'grand finale', butt sticking in the air. He gave a shaky thumbs to his team, giving a muffled, "Nailed it, dattebayo." His arm then fell back down with a thud.

Said teammates, who were actually on the opposite end of the room, winced.

* * *

Gymnastics had been the last event of the day. Team Seven, with the points from the mathematics competition and the ramen eating competition, managed to qualify for the second day of the sports festival despite their abysmal performance during the gymnastics event, along with fifty teams from the hundred and twenty that had passed the obstacle course.

The teachers had actually expected about seventy teams to qualify, but it seemed that this year was fraught with powerhouse teams that consistently took the top twenty spots, hoarding the most number of points so that the teams that did qualify did so with a large margin.

The students gave a collective groan of relief as they were dismissed, shuffling towards the school gates and the direction of home.

So ended the first day of the sports festival.

* * *

OMAKE: Naruto's thoughts while eating ramen

Mmmm. Ramen ramen ramen.

Oh wait a minute, look, that blue-skinned fishy man is eating ramen faster than me! Oh no he didn't! That's it, kiddy gloves are off, mister! So there! Nom nom nom nom nom.

Mmmmm. Ramen ramen ramen ramen- hey, did that dude just puke after looking at me? Oh well, who cares. Ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramen ramenramenramen...

Oh no I ran out of bowls of ramen! NOOOOOO! Oh wait, doesn't this mean something important? Oh right, WE WIN! YAAAAAAAY! WOOHOO.

Now, I wonder if that team over there will let me eat their ramen... hmmmm...

* * *

OMAKE inspired by JinxKatKazama, sasusaku number, as well as everyone who asked for more Madara/Sakura action! Thanks for the ideas my lovelies, and feel free to give me more suggestions!

Team Seven was walking towards the gate after the gruelling day.

"I can't believe we have two more days of this hell…" Naruto groaned as he stumbled from fatigue.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, his posture slumped.

"Well, at least we all did our best! I was worried we wouldn't have any motivation to compete," Sakura said optimistically. "I mean…" Here, she giggled, amused by her own silliness. "I even made a cheerleader uniform and routine and everything to cheer you guys on! It was lucky I showed it to Kakashi-sensei first though, it must have been really bad if his reaction was anything to go by…"

"Did you say _cheerleader uniform_?" The boys suddenly lost all traces of fatigue and stopped, whirling to face her. Even Sai's eyes glinted in interest.

"Yeah," Sakura laughed again. "But it was really bad…"

"I doubt that." Sasuke said, still peering at her intently. "Why don't you let us judge for ourselves?"

"I don't know…" Sakura said uncomfortably. "I don't have it on me anyway."

'_**LIES!'**_Inner screamed._**'You brought it along just in case!'**_

'_Well… I don't want _them_ to know! Did you not see Kakashi-sensei's reaction?'_

'_**You moron, he wasn't horrified, he had a nosebleed!'**_

'_Well how do you know the horror of seeing us in that outfit doing our routine didn't cause him to rupture a blood vessel, which would, in fact, mean that we could have killed him because of our hideous appearance? For that matter, how do you explain him forbidding me from wearing it again, if I was, in fact, that _wonderful_ in the outfit?'_

'_**If you'd paid attention, Outer-**_**chan**_**, you would realise he said 'in front of anyone else', ergo, he wouldn't mind if you did it in front of him again! He just wanted to hoard you for himself, the perverted hottie that he is. Not that I'm adverse to that… he does live just next door.'**_Inner leered.

'_Oh my Lord, INNER! We're fifteen! Mind outta the gutter, NOW! …And huh, now that you said that, sensei did say that… but that doesn't prove anything!'_

'_**You're a complete idiot, Outer-chan. But fine, whatever! Ignore me!' **_Inner huffed.

"It doesn't matter!" Naruto continued from where Sasuke left off, unknowingly bringing Sakura's attention back to them. "Just a picture or something is fine, please please _please_ Sakura-chan?"

"Oh well…" Sakura nibbled on her lip. "Fine…"

She rummaged through her bag before retrieving her mobile. She then showed them a rather badly taken selfie (So she didn't subscribe to taking pictures of herself, sue her!). The boys, however, had not a care for the angles and lighting of the picture being all wrong, for they were distracted by a more important detail, which was Sakura. In a cheerleading uniform.

Sakura. In an adorable cheerleading uniform.

Sakura. In an adorable cheerleading uniform. Clutching silver pom poms.

Sakura-

Naruto was blasted backwards by the force of his nosebleed, slamming into an unfortunately placed wall behind him, slumping to the ground with swirls where his eyes should have been. Sakura was a little worried that he was concussed since he seemed to have lost control of his salivary glands and a veritable waterfall of drool was gushing from his open mouth.

Sai on the other hand, had a hand clenched over his heart, his eyes opened wide in a faintly alarmed expression. "What is this…?" He muttered to himself. "This irregular beating of my heart. Was it the ramen? Or am I getting a heart attack? I better go to the clinic for a checkup." He nodded to himself and departed without a backward glance.

Sasuke, on the other hand, stoically handed Sakura's handphone back to her, saying, "Kakashi was exaggerating. I find it… acceptable."

"Um, Sasuke, your nose is bleeding," Sakura said, concerned. Why was everyone around her getting nosebleeds? Inner sighed at Sakura's obliviousness.

"Hn." Sasuke nonchalantly wiped the blood away with his hand, leaving a rather comical streak on his upper lip. He couldn't resist chancing another glance at the screen of the phone. More blood surged from his nose.

"… I'm going to the infirmary." Sasuke said, still trying to maintain his composure. However, as he took a step forward, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed from blood loss, dropping face-first onto the ground like a rock.

'_**I never knew you could faint from blood loss due to a nosebleed,'**_ Inner said in interest. _**'It's not like he lost that much blood anyway. What a wimp. I do hope that his lovely face didn't sustain any permanent injuries from that fall though.'**_

Sakura stared at the prone forms of her two comatose teammates, both of whom were surrounded by small puddles of blood.

"I guess I'm going home by myself, then," She sighed.

"Oh dear," A voice sounded behind her. "What on earth happened here?"

Sakura whirled around to face Madara, who was currently gingerly nudging his nephew's body with his foot, nose wrinkled in slight disgust.

"Madara-sensei," Sakura said in surprise.

"Sakura-chan!" Madara's head snapped up, a blinding smile lighting his face as he pranced over aforementioned nephew's passed out form and wrapped his arms around the pinkette, swinging her around. Setting her back down, he asked her what had happened.

Swaying dizzily and deciding to simply ignore Madara's actions, Sakura replied, "I showed them a photo of myself, and then this happened." She gestured helplessly to the scene of carnage before them.

"Oh?" Madara asked in interest, the possibilities of what this picture would be whirring through the evilly genius mind hiding behind his childish façade. "Show me!" He demanded.

"Sensei, when I showed it to other people, this happened." She pointed to the scene before them yet again. "I don't think-"

"Sakura-channnnn…. Please?" Madara utilised a tactic most commonly known as the Puppy Dog Eyes. (No, it was not because he liked doing it, it was all part of his dastardly evil plan, of course! …No, he was _not_ lying!)

Sakura fidgeted uncomfortably before consenting with a sigh, showing the picture to Madara and dreading his reaction.

Madara froze, staring at the picture.

"Um… sensei?" Sakura as nervously, waving a hand in front of his face.

He did not respond.

'_Oh no, I broke him!'_ Sakura freaked out.

While she was distracted with asking Inner for ideas on how to snap Madara out of his trance, said teacher regained his senses and crushed Sakura to him in an embrace.

"EEK! LET GO!"

"NEVERRRRRR!" Madara declared as he twirled around, the uncomfortable pink-haired girl still trapped in his arms. His eyes sparkled in slightly insane happiness and imaginary roses and sparkles gleamed in the background.

"Sakura-chan, I am never ever ever ever letting go of you again, you adorable, _adorable_ girl. No one will ever look upon your loveliness again, except for myself, for their eyes are not worthy of such perfection. You have touched my heart with your splendour," Madara cooed at her, thoroughly freaking her out as he spouted as many phrases as he could remember from the chick flicks he was definitely _not_ addicted to. "My darling angel… the light of my life… my reason for living…" Keeping her firmly in his embrace with one arm, he raised the other to start stroking her hair.

"Sensei… you're making me uncomfortable. Please let go." Sakura shoved his face away from where it had been in _way_ too close proximity to hers. Inner had long passed out from happiness. "In fact, I insist you let go RIGHT THIS INSTANT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE!"

Ignoring her actions, the smitten sucker continued, "You are… the Lion to my Lamb." He paused. "That doesn't sound right. Was it supposed to be the other way around? Anyway, I would gladly sparkle for you… or catch a grenade for you… I love you, my eenie meenie miney mo-"

"UCHIHA, GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF MY NIECE!"

"Eep!"

* * *

AN2: Hope you liked it!

Review because it's gonna be my birthday in about eight, nine or ten days depending on which time zone you're in!

Sorry for the mistakes if any; beta-less and proud.

XOXO

Ice


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